Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be upset about mum bullies?

370 replies

GingerNinjer · 19/03/2021 15:28

This happened a couple of years ago but I just can’t seem to get over it. The class was having a party and all kids were sent home with an item of what to bring. Me and another mum got “crisps”.
I bought a multipack of hula hoops, took the individual bags out of the main bag and spread the packets on a party plate, covered it with cling film and that was it.
DD proudly walked into school playground carrying this plate. Other boy who was asked to bring crisps walked in with a multipack of monster munch as bought. DD said to him “why are they not on a party plate?”. She shouldn’t have commented but she did. I quickly told her it didn’t matter whether they were on a plate or not. The boy went to his mum and said DD had said they were meant to be on a plate. Before I had chance to apologise/explain this woman flung her head back, screamed and said loudly “sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school!”
I was mortified, didn’t confront as this woman has been violent in the playground before so made a quick exit. I was so upset by it, shaking all the way home, I’m not confrontational at all and certainly not a snob.
When I went to pick DD up that afternoon I got standing with a woman who I considered a friend. I told her what had happened and she burst out laughing and said “but why did you put them on a plate? Some of the others were laughing about it too! They were just hula hoops!” I said I knew they were just hula hoops, they were still in their individual bags, I wasn’t pretending they were anything different!” To which she said “exactly, they were in bags! So why the cling film and plate?” Whilst laughing hysterically.

Months later jokes were still being made in the chat groups about wether to buy crisps from asda of Waitrose etc, jokes about cling film for extra protection etc etc. I came off the chat groups and no longer speak to any of them but I just can’t get over it. Seems like such a massive reaction to crisps?? They’re talking about the possibility of a party at the end of school year if guidance allows and I actually feel sick at the thought of the jokes starting up again.
Was I really so badly in the wrong here?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
ByRedBee · 29/03/2026 12:25

Why did you put bagged crisps on a plate with cling film though?
a chair broke whilst I was sitting on it whilst at a workshop in reception
funny for everyone including me

AliceNotInChains · 29/03/2026 11:44

I wonder how this panned out as I’m having similar issues

BadMudda · 29/03/2021 06:22

I honestly would think bollocks to them.

Seriously.

Fuck them and their nastiness.

There are a few, rare school mums that are nice and are decent, but in my
experience these are few and far between.

Far better to ignore and go about your daily business.

That's exactly what I do and I have gone as far as to remove myself from the class WhatsApp group chat and man, it feels goood!

chalktheblockwithglitterchalk · 29/03/2021 06:15

My dc are sn and so qualify for transport to school...... this sort of shit makes me so grateful that I don't have to deal with stupid WhatsApp groups and the school gate mummies.

Parkerwhereareyou · 24/03/2021 20:09

@BakedTattie

I would tell them all to fuck right off.
Well yes that is what I thought too. In a nutshell.
BakedTattie · 24/03/2021 19:59

I would tell them all to fuck right off.

Parkerwhereareyou · 24/03/2021 19:47

Yes OP. They are like hyenas savaging you. They get in a kind of mutual frenzy of meanness snd all the time laughing and congratulating each other.

Mean girls. Not nice. Stay away.

WhereHaveAllTheGoodTimesGone · 21/03/2021 18:43

This is why parenting WhatsApp groups are of the devil! Of the devil, I tell ye!

Swriously , Op, it's not you. It's them. They are knobs.

Mittens030869 · 21/03/2021 18:23

@23PissOffAvenueWF

Exactly. I wouldn’t even remember about it personally. I’ve already been too focused on what I’m doing and my DDs. I wouldn’t have the headspace to take too much notice of what other parents are bringing. Confused

23PissOffAvenueWF · 21/03/2021 18:22

I dunno. But I’m guessing the OP did mean to just have individual packs for kids, since she put them on a plate. If the idea was to pool - wouldn’t you put them in a bowl?

Clearly howling-at-the-noon-mum intended the kids to each take individual packs, since she just provided the packs.

In any case - to reiterate - bullying Mum is in the wrong (clearly) and needs to get herself a life.

Foxhasbigsocks · 21/03/2021 18:07

Can you get massive packs of hula hoops?

23PissOffAvenueWF · 21/03/2021 17:34

Only the OP can advise what her intention was - but IF the whole idea was to pool the crisps, why on earth would you buy multi-packs, and make someone stand there opening loads of the fiddly little things, when you could just bring a couple of big sharing packs, and open and pool them?

It’s clearly absolutely not that big a deal - and I have no idea why someone would find it so hilarious that they took it to group chat to continue laughing about it with other people.

The OP needs some strategies in case the ridiculous Mum does bring it up again.

I suggest laughing back at her, and some lines like ‘wow, you really do need to get out more Janice, if you’re still finding this so amusing’, accompanied by a laugh and very bemused look.

What sort of absolute saddo would do this?

Foxhasbigsocks · 21/03/2021 09:19

And the majority on the thread agree poor op was not BU

Foxhasbigsocks · 21/03/2021 09:18

@Bluntness100 amd @23PissOffAvenueWF nowhere has op said she bought enough mini packs for each child to have one each! So presumably the person setting up the food opened the packets and shook them out onto a plate. This is definitely what happens in our schools as I’ve seen the pictures of the food set out - it’s a plate of crisps not loads of packets of crisps just sitting on a table.

I don’t card what anyone does with their crisps Grin but to respond to those saying op was batshit, what she did doesn’t sound at all off to me

LucieStar · 21/03/2021 08:57

People like this only communicate on the base level: profanity, raucous argument and physical confrontation. None are languages I speak. I find people quickly become bored when arguing with silence.

100% - this.

CornishPastyDownUnder · 21/03/2021 03:42

OMFG-sound like a bunch of bored,low IQ numpties-lucky you havent got long til Sept..hope it goes quick4u

Moelwynbach · 21/03/2021 03:28

I couldn't get worried about crisps and clingfilm. They sound odd and entirely the reason why im not on a school WhatsApp group.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 21/03/2021 00:38

Tell me what you would have done. I'm not being goady or judgmental, I'm genuinely looking for tips. I would have shit myself or been too embarrassed to draw attention to the situation so give me tips just in case I'm ever in this situation. I'd love to stand up to these cretins but don't fancy a beating.

This wasn't addressed to me, but my response would be simple. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get covered in mud and the pig enjoys it.

Circumstances permitting I'd walk off and leave her in mid-flow. Otherwise I'd look straight through her. If she persisted despite this I'd tell her, calmly and without raising my voice, to stop harassing me. Repeatedly if necessary. Nothing else: no entering into discussion. Start arguing or defending and they've got you.

People like this only communicate on the base level: profanity, raucous argument and physical confrontation. None are languages I speak. I find people quickly become bored when arguing with silence.

Grey rock, I believe some people call it.

prawntoastie · 21/03/2021 00:23

her problem not yours

Cheeeeislifenow · 20/03/2021 23:55

Op never said psycho mum was on the wats app.

TaVeryMuchLove · 20/03/2021 22:23

@PolPotNoodle

Absolutely dying at the fact that *@Mintychocolate* thinks not putting your children's crisps on a plate means they'll grow up to have 'small shitty lives'.
😂
LucieStar · 20/03/2021 21:40

@Cheeeeislifenow

Again the op does not say the "vile" mum is any way shape associatted with the other mum's. Also op have you considered that they were possibly making fun of the other mum in her ridiculous over reaction to hula hoop gate?

Except for the fact that they all share a WhatsApp group and OP recounted the story to one of the other mums after it happened, to be met with more laughter.

Yeah, not associated with her at all. Hmm

Maddison12 · 20/03/2021 21:17

@StarsonaString

Lol at all the well 'ard posters saying what they would do to psycho mum. Easy to say behind a screen but OP (and the others) are right not to confront her. People like that only escalate and you will NEVER win. All you will get is an inordinate amount of hassle and grief.
There's nothing "hard" about it, I've encountered many vile people like OP described growing up on a council estate, you had to stand up for yourself or your life wouldn't be worth living.

They're nothing but bullies who only pick on people they perceive to be weak. Once they realise you're not intimidated by them they never come back for more.

Cheeeeislifenow · 20/03/2021 20:30

Again the op does not say the "vile" mum is any way shape associatted with the other mum's.
Also op have you considered that they were possibly making fun of the other mum in her ridiculous over reaction to hula hoop gate?

LucieStar · 20/03/2021 19:37

PPs on your thread start splitting hairs over Crisp Presentation as well.

😂
I actually can't believe the debate about hula hoops being in individual packets versus not, or having cling film over them or not, is still going on (or indeed even started). The issue at hand here is clearly the vile mum and her group of bully friends - who OP is well rid of.