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Original poster

To worry about ds1

45 replies

Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 22:57

My friend has well and truly annoyed me today.

Went for a socially distanced walk with DS 15 months and a stranger waved at him, he flapped back which my perfect parent friend has basically used to tell me DS is autistic.

I have a lot of anxiety at the moment and now I’m panicking. DS isn’t talking, but claps, plays peekaboo, understands and copies “all gone” with arms wide open and can make the noise where you put your hand on your mouth like the wah wah noise. He is so quick to copy and understand things but just isn’t verbal. He isn’t pointing so to speak but makes amazing eye contact, always brings toys and books to play and read, he does however use my hand to point to things in books, e.g “that’s not my teddy” he will scratch the rough surface then get my finger to scratch too. He holds out his hand when he wants something and will bring me things such as his cup if he wants a drink, if he wants something out of reach he’ll hold his hand out to it and make a noise for me to get it. He also loves to open and close the door as he gets a reaction out of it once he walks in and gives a big smile

He is my first born, no one else has concerns yet this has made me more anxious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:43

Some people are just not friends at all. DS only knows eye contact he’s like a seagull!

OP posts:
SheSaidHummingbird · 17/03/2021 23:43

Bellver888 He sounds like an adorable little boy. What's that about bubbles??

MUM2TJ · 17/03/2021 23:40

Your friend shouldn't be passing judgement just over a wave.As others have said there is not just one sign.My son was doing everything your son is doing at the same age only he had no real speech only babble or noises and he was still diagnosed as asd at age 7 when everyone including professionals told me that because he could give eye contact, was v independent and very loving etc that he definitely didn't have it. I honestly wouldn't worry over one wave.

Camomila · 17/03/2021 23:40

He sounds just like my 13m old, walked before a year, doesn't say much, and does a manic whole arm attempt at waving. I have no autism concerns whatsoever.

junebirthdaygirl · 17/03/2021 23:39

Blab out!! (Not Alan)

junebirthdaygirl · 17/03/2021 23:38

My ds had ten words on his second birthday. And that was at a stretch. He talks for a living now!
Your friend cannot diagnose autism. Even professionals have lots of criteria for deciding and can often disagree. She was out of order saying that. As a teacher if l have to suggest to a parent that there may be an issue l have sleepless nights preparing what l am going to say. For her to Alan out something like that so in sensitively speaks a lot about her.

Blackdog19 · 17/03/2021 23:35

I heard baby boys are either good physically, as yours is, or verbally. My ds didn’t walk until 16 months! I’m sure he’s fine OP, I wouldn’t worry.

Tinty · 17/03/2021 23:35

He sounds perfect and your friend is a fool. He will probably be talking the hind legs off a donkey in a year.

All the things you say he can do sound completely normal. Smile

Pollypudding · 17/03/2021 23:32

Also a very good resource for communication
www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people

Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:27

He’s started to learn pretend play now as well, he brushes my hair with his comb and gives me some of his drink, every time he has a drink now he goes “aaaah” afterwards, he makes my heart so bloody full

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:26

@ChristmasAlone THIS!!!! I agree so so much

OP posts:
ChristmasAlone · 17/03/2021 23:26

I would imagine there are going to be a lot of children at the moment that in years gone by are considered late developers purely through lack of social interactions

Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:26

He only uses my hand for books, anything else he is the definition of independent and doesn’t like help with anything, he uses my finger to point to certain thing in his books but I think he’s just copying me and wants me to do it

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Bigbus · 17/03/2021 23:23

Using a parent’s hand as a tool is often associated with autism but if he’s using using his own hand first it could just be that he’s sharing the experience with you. Not one sign is enough to make a diagnosis. He’s only very young and he sounds like he’s doing well. If he’s not pointing by 18 months then it might be worth asking for some professional advice but then that said ‘normal’ is based on a range and 3% of ‘normal’ people will fall outside this range anyway!

Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:21

No no he always gets waves, and always does a lil flap back, unless it’s to the bubbles in the bath at night. He was a very early walker, he was on the move age 11 months and running just after his 1st birthday.

Thank you for the talking link! I was never worried but every bit of advice helps! He’s a keen babbler and will often have a good old shout then get frustrated because I don’t understand what “dododdodod” means 😂😂 the last couple of weeks his thing has been finding the remote control to bring to me to put duggee on so he knows what he wants and how to get his point across

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pwheuss · 17/03/2021 23:21

Mine hardly spoke until 17 months, but once he started he was coming out with phrases rather than single words by 18 months. They all get there at their own pace. Your friend is being ridiculous to suggest autism based on that one incident of arm flapping.

merryhouse · 17/03/2021 23:18

Is this the first time anyone has waved at your son?

It's like anything else he encounters - he sees it and attempts to imitate it, and sometimes he does it the same way and sometimes it's not the same. A flap is a perfectly rational first attempt at a wave.

According to Google 15 months is on the later side for first words but not massively so. He's showing every sign of understanding concepts, and presumably you've not noticed any problems with his hearing or you'd have mentioned that.

If you're bothered about the talking you could look at this link

Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:15

He has no issue understanding words at all, he knows all gone and picked that up within a few days.

I called my nana about it earlier and her prize response was “well he’s probably not got anything to say” 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellver888 · 17/03/2021 23:14

@Lindy2 when he feels like it, he has a baby chick money box and if I say where’s little chick he’ll look toward it and smile, he’s very loving too which is good.

He flaps both his hands when someone waves but to him he’s waving so that’s what I thought, he does flap when he’s excited but not often

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Lindy2 · 17/03/2021 23:12

At 15 months most children aren't very verbal. It is showing some understanding that's important and it sounds like your DS is doing that.

Why on earth would waving back at soneone make her say he is autistic? He was waving because someone waved at him that's really very different from flapping.

If you ask him to find a certain picture in a book when you are reading can he do it? ie point to the dog, cat, bird picture etc.