To worry about ds1

How is your son now OP? mine just waved backwards and im also worried about autism.

My son is on the waiting list for an autism assessment (it’s a long process to get a diagnosis). His toddler sister is noticeably different to how he was in that she will look at us for a response as she plays. Much more smiley at us too, whereas he would smile but only at things that made him laugh rather than at people.

Even if your child did turn out to be autistic, as another poster said it’s not something to be afraid of. My son has difficulties with some things but is also an affectionate and kind boy.

DH hardly spoke a word till he was 4, he has a PhD from Cambridge. He is still a man of few words but a deep thinker. Your baby sounds very sweet and totally fine.

My DS1 wasn't very verbal at all until about 18 months, he was 2 in December and honestly he's a proper little chatterbox now
Don't let your "friend" worry you xx

My DS has autism and he sounds nothing like yours at that age. The fact that he understands things and also that he brings you toys and books - that’s extremely positive.

My DS used my hand as a tool but it would be, e.g. if he wanted to go out the door, he would grab my hand (without looking at me or making a sound) and throw it towards the door handle. Or if he was watching a Baby Einstein video on my laptop and wanted to watch a different one, he would grab my hand and throw it at the keyboard. Sounds like what your DS does is very different.

Don’t worry about the verbal language - the key is receptive language (I.e., does he understand a word you say) and joint attention (bringing you toys, looking at you if he sees something exciting, etc.).

Child language researcher here, this is all exactly on track. Understanding words and using gestures (waving is HARD, so many bits to get right, so is pointing) come first, don't worry about the talking.
Tell your friend to go and wave at someone else!

She actually does say she’s OCD cos she likes Mrs Hinch

That says it all. She's not OCD, likelihood is your son isn't autistic (not from this anyway) and your friend needs a good lesson on why her attitude is disabilist bullshit.

Your friend isn't just rude, she's quite offensive. A 15 month old flapping a wave at someone is nothing like stimming. My eldest 'flaps' as a form of sensory management, it's more of shaking fists than actually waving and very obviously nothing to do with trying to communicate. He also didn't start stimming until he was three or so.

I bet your friend is one of these people who thinks she's a 'bit OCD' for liking things tidy as well .

Gosh he sounds absolutely normal! Your friend sounds stupid really. What is she qualified in exactly??
He sounds adorable. My ds was really chatty at that age, but equally my friends son wasn't. They both are fine!!
Please don't let this so called friend get to you. You ds probably wanted to hug or tried waving with both hands or something else completely normal.

Wow. Even if one of my friend's kids was showing clear signs of autism, I wouldn't say anything, unless they brought it up first. If they were struggling and asked for advice, I might suggest strategies that worked for us, but to come out and say that someone's child might be autistic based on a flappy wave? Nah. Don't give it headspace. Although, maybe query the friendship.

What a deeply unhelpful ‘friend’.

I've had an autistic toddler and I currently have a neurotypical toddler and the major differences at fifteen months were:

NT toddler looking at my face to see how I reacted to things eg loud noises
NT toddler crying if their brother cried, from very young (maybe 4 mths)
NT toddler able to wave, repeat Mama etc from about 10 mths
Autistic toddler using my hand as an extension of his own eg to get something he wanted
Autistic toddler showing little to no interest in other children, or what they were doing
Autistic toddler was the early walker. He crawled early and walked early. He's six now and always on the go. NT toddler took their time to get it right.

But like a PP has said, every child is different and that applies to neurodiverse kids too.

If your kid turns out to be autistic it really isn't something to be afraid of

Hi op

Please please don’t worry about autism yet he’s so little and sounds lovely

I live in an area where autism is quite common due to industry drawing certain types of people who you would previously have called Aspies

DD DH and almost certainly DS are all on the spectrum (first 2 diagnosed) many of their school friends over the years have also been diagnosed so I’ve seen and experienced whole groups developing together

The ONLY thing I’ve seen in common is that they are invisibility drawn towards each other, I’ve often said you could put a child in the classroom and soon see which group they gravitate to and work it out

All of these children however developed differently. Some walked earlier (mine did) or very late (a cousin) some were late to talking but then became extremely articulate whilst others needed speech therapy for years

DS hand flapped when running but won’t undertake assessment and that’s his right

What I’m trying to say is that all of these children developed differently but still were autistic, much like the rest in the class who were NOT autistic

People hear of one sign of autism and think that it presents a picture but it’s just a part of it not the whole, as anyone who experiences autism will tell you “when you’ve met one autistic person you’ve met one autistic person” every one is unique and different and one sign doesn’t mean it’s autism

At 15 months my eldest baby wasn’t speaking much, sounded just like your baby (is now almost 4 and no concerns at all) my second son is 15 months and can say loads. Every baby is different and they all develop on their own timeline. I’m not sure how flapping means autism? And unless she is qualified to diagnose children then she shouldn't say anything at all.

Dear lord, does she expect children to be born doing the royal wave?

He sounds fine to me he is still very young just keep talking to him. I also speak to a health visitor the can give you some tips on how to encourage speech etc. If he points at something talk to him about the details as much as you can. Just keep talking to him all the time..he will be taking it all in. My first wasn't talking much at that age at all, other than mama dada and a couple more words. But understood what you asked him a lot of the time and gave a lot of eye contact so I think he was just taking it all in like yours is likely... I ask would ask mine around age 2 to fetch me things like his red toy on top of the table or behind the cup so he hearing as much detail as possible and knew he understood me even though he didn't talk much. My son liked to wave a lot he was sociable, yours sounds like he is taking an interest in all his surroundings and people. My son loved to switch things on and off constantly spun his hands and feet (like making circles with his wrists) when excited especially (it stopped somewhat when he started walking more around 16 months) He was very bright but a late talker he spoke 2/3 word sentences but did know a lot of words by then but just not sentences so much, he could count up to 100 and new his alphabet by two and a half but was definitely behind with speech. I would say mine properly spoke to around were he should be about 3 and a half/4 I must admit being my first I did have all these worries is he where he should be? But turned out very usual typical child now at the age of 9 he still very curious and excitable but absolutely no concerns in anywhere of his development. Quite a usual school boy. My second child totally different, spoke a lot earlier and not as excitable but didn't have the same focus on things like he certainly can't count to 100 even now and he is 5 soon he just doesn't care to. No worries with him either.

Dd didn’t say a word till she was 2 and was at nursery. Then came out with full sentences. She used to point at what she wanted. Ds I could hand him a bottle at 6 weeks and he could feed himself, he walked at 9 months and although he talked I was the only one who understood him till he was 4 years old. He was a very physical child but talking or anything that didn’t involve brute strength went by the wayside.
I always think on these threads that more than likely the little one just hasn’t got there yet. They all develop at their own pace.

every time he has a drink now he goes “aaaah” afterwards. He sounds adorable.

Your friend OTOH - maybe it’s time for a bit of social distancing!

She's probably thinking of the habitual hand flapping that some people with autism do (stimming). It's a completely different thing to flapping in response to a wave which is a logical first step to waving for a baby with incomplete motor control.

I flapped my hand instead of waving for a few years until I finally figured it out!