Absent father

@DimOndCadwAnadlu now that I do find strange I really could not be with a man that has a child has nothing to do with them and you are bringing up your dc knowing they have a sibling they know nothing about ! (I have personal experience of this and the father had never told his wife he had a child must have been a shock for her!)

I guess in a way it is more visible for fathers. Mothers in most cases have the option to terminate so if they want to walk away from raising a child they can make that choice and no one is ever any of the wiser. There obviously isn’t a mechanism for fathers to do that in a way that isn’t apparent to the world.
I do think it is much harder for father to be fully involved after a split since custody is usually granted to the mother, although obviously plenty of men still manage it and some are just shitty people.

I find it baffling, and I find women who accept this from their partner just as baffling. Someone I used to be friends with was perfectly happy that her husband had fathered a child that he had nothing to do with outside of child maintenance.

She was full of "he didn't choose to be a father" platitudes, but wilfully ignored the fact that a child was being raised knowing that as far as their father is concerned they're irrelevant. They now have children who are completely unaware there's a sibling out there. It's morally bankrupt in my opinion.

My grandchildren's father drifts in and out. My youngest GC is at a lovely age and even I miss her when I don't see her for a few days. He is exceptionally selfish and self centered, though.

When it was more acceptable to walk away, it was even more common. I've met men my age, 50's, who admit to walking away like it doesn't matter and they shouldn't be judged. We wouldn't have been as accepting of Mothers who do that and it's always annoyed me that fathers aren't held up to the same standards.

Baffles me too it really does.I have several friends whose dads have no contact with them and a situation closer to home where the dad has never met his child.

Because it’s easier not to parent than to parent. It’s that simple. Parenting his hard and often very shit. Dealing with an ex is usually hard. Much easier just to opt out of it all.