To think obtaining a nursing degree as a single mum...

I want to say it’s doable, I think it will be HARD though. I would speak to the university ASAP and ask for a decrease in the amount of nights you can work. Due to childcare. I think you’ll still be expected to do some but they’ve changed the mentor model to practise assessors/supervisors now so you’ll be allocated a team of mentors rather than just one. Which means it’ll be easier for you to have your roster avoid nights if possible.

We didn’t have the luxury of or necessity for my parents to be flapping around me

Being in the same home as your 10 year old is not “flapping”. Nor is it flapping when they are 11/12/13/14/15. It’s just parenting. It’s pretty normal to expect a parent, or at least a responsible person, to be present when their 10 year old is home. Let’s not be silly.

Honestly it'll be tough but you'll never know until you try. Don't let people put you off.
I found most placements were pretty flexible. I didn't have to do nights but requested them.
Just visit prior to your placement and just be honest, Christ you can do 3 long days then you're off.

If I had a student who had 3 kids I'd just place them as much as possible with the mentor or senior staff, I'm not a dick and most people aren't.
You're not staff, you're a student. I got loads of time during placements to study or do placement days in other areas of interest/to fulfil competencies.
It won't be easy but what is.
Good luck.

I think do it. Will be a great example for your kids and you can work out childcare.

@shrodingersbiscuit How many years is it since your mum did her nurse training?

Huh well I guess all kids are different and it depends on them? I’m not at all old but when it was around 10 or so (only child) I would do a bit of babysitting, be left on my own overnight sometimes, have no problem whipping up dinner for parents, always got myself up for school and walked. We didn’t have the luxury of or necessity for my parents to be flapping around me, I would have been confused if they had tried. If they had suggests getting a babysitter I think I would have been genuinely confused...

Genuinely, what do you do for a 12 year old in the morning? Because of my parents’ work schedule I was usually alone getting up, but I knew how to set an alarm, brush my teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast and leave. So I don’t know what they would have added to that?

If you can’t trust a 12 year old to not accidentally burn down the house when you’re out of the room, I think that’s pretty weird. As long as they are good kids I think they will rise to a bit of responsibility. I think the last thing they would want would be for you to hold yourself back from giving them a great life, on their account.

Just a thought but have you considered Occupational Therapy as an alternative. The placement hours are generally a lot more family friendly and my friend who did it as a single mum recently, had a lot of support from her uni.

The problem I can see is that I've got 3 dc, a little older but around teen years.

You've put it to them.
They've seen it as a great adventure. Of course oldest will look after youngest, youngest says they'll be as good as gold. All sounds lovely. Mine would have said the same.

But you're not talking about a week, you're not even talking about a month. It's long term.

I suspect you'll find the youngest starts resenting the oldest "you're not my mum, you can't tell me what to do". The oldest then has to decide whether to exert their authority, or let them do as they want. They then feel responsible for when things go wrong.

You've also got when your 16yo wants to go off with a friend, stay late at school for a GCSE catch up session, get a job, just go down to the park and kick a football about for an hour-suddenly they can't. Then at 18yo they're off to uni, what if they feel they can't go because they're needed at home?

What about holidays, are you expecting the 16yo to look after the other two? What if the 16yo's sick and can't look after them? Or the younger ones, when they're home from school? Inset days? Who looks after them?

You will be changing their relationship from that of sibling to caregiver.

Thing is I would totally trust my eldest (and would done at 14/15yo) to look after the younger ones. However it wouldn't have been a good idea. Yes she did look after them very well at times. Long term it would not have been good for their relationship.

My 11, almost 12 year old is nowhere near old enough to have a part time job or to be dating anyone. The exams he studies for are his Christmas and summer assessments. Because he’s in his first year of secondary. Not university.

Why can’t you leave a 12/13 year old overnight occasionally? They’re old enough to have a part time job, to be dating people, to be studying for exams. I really don’t underhand this idea of treating teenagers like toddlers?

I have an eleven year old none of these things are doable for him? An 11 or 12 year old is not a teenager and the expectations above are crazy, giving too much responsibility at a young / innapropriate age is poor parenting.

If you are determined I would go for it & you can find a way to arrange childcare

Otherwise you will always wonder what if

Plenty of responible 16 year olds or older to help out

Why can’t you leave a 12/13 year old overnight occasionally? They’re old enough to have a part time job, to be dating people, to be studying for exams. I really don’t underhand this idea of treating teenagers like toddlers?

Point being if 18 year old leaves home you can’t leave 12/13 year old home alone overnight for 12 hour shifts regularly so they will need someone there.
Personally I think it’s fraught with issues. You need the 15 year old for it to work. That’s a lot on them. If they want to go out with friends, sleepover etc they can’t if you are working. It’s not occasionally babysitting it’s effectively acting as parent to the younger 2.
Starting and dropping out would be worse. Can you speak to uni and see exactly what is involved and what childcare funding there is.

What about summer holidays?

Universities will claim to be flexible with placements, but in reality aren't particularly. Especially if doing Paediatrics as placements are already fewer and far between. (Paediatrics is the best job ever!)

Definitely do able as long as you have childcare to cover the unsociable shifts. It'll be hard work but worth it.

I did it as a single mum, it was tough but doable.
However if I had my time again I'd have trained as an NHS podiatrist first - I did that later on in life.
The reason being NHS podiatry is more family friendly, it's the same grades, pay and career progression but the hours are 9-5 with weekends off and Christmas and bank holidays off.
Nursing was just so hard to find childcare for because you will be doing nights, days, weekends and bank holidays and it's almost impossible to find care during those times unless you have family to look after them.
Also podiatry is interesting but you run clinics and it's a lot less stressful than nursing. A lot of the modules are done with the nurses and physios.

Oh yes, for the foreseeable your 50% theory is likely to be at home. That may help.
Also, for Placement, when you ring in advance clarify the types of shift they do and plan your childcare around it as best you can. It really is possible.

OP I’m a third year nursing student. I do have a dp who I have just moved in with but he’s not my ds’s dad. It is hard but to be honest I find the academic side much harder. I do have a lot of family support so my experience is totally different from yours and I’m sure I’m repeating what others have said but thought I’d just summarise my experience
-LOADS of single parents in my class
-most placements have been really flexible although there was one that would not change any shifts AT ALL but I had my full shifts 6 weeks in advance so could plan around them
-I’ve done 4 nights in 2 and a half years, some have done none, some have done 50. All depends on the ward/your mentor etc.
-shifts I’ve done are 7-7.30, have to be at the hospital for 6.30 at the latest to find parking and since Covid to get changed
-always left on time, never left a ward later then my shift but nurses have stayed on of course

• loads of money available, extra £7000 this year on top of loans (before moving in with my dp, my student loan total + parental grant was about £15,000 and now the £7000 on top)

• as long as you’re flexible and don’t go in saying I can’t do any weekends or nights they’re usually pretty good

My training is coming to an end and I can’t tell you how fast the 3 years have gone by.

You can certainly do this and congratulations on getting a place.

I find that my students in similar positions to you are motivated and very driven. It will not be easy, there is a lot of hard work but it is only 3 years, it will fly, then you sell your books and you can take a mon to fri OPD job if that is what suits you as soon as you're qualified.
You have got this!

Is your oldest planning on going to university? If they leave home at 18 will you be able to manage the childcare?