To think obtaining a nursing degree as a single mum...

I haven't read the full thread but just worth mentioning that you don't have to work with your mentor a 100% of the time while on placement. Most mentors will help try and accommodate you as best they can but obviously you do need to be with them as much as possible so won't be able to help entirely. Good luck op x

Speak to someone doing the course now. Course content, pressure and expectations will have changed from years ago. Will you have to do coursework? Assignments? When will you have the time or energy? What about parent's evenings etc for the younger children? When will you fit that in? What about when your 15 year old wants lifts places or to be picked up? It's not just childcare issues here it's your energy levels and wellbeing. I'm not trying to put a downer on things, I'm just being realistic. Think of your life now and how full it already is. Where does all this extra time and space come in for squeezing more into your schedule. I speak from experience being a single mum and trying something similar. I never had quiet time to do the assignments to go with it let alone juggling placements and everything else. If I were you I'd wait a while. You might find that much easier on yourself as much as the children. Single parenting is so hard. It's harder still when you throw degrees into the mix. Could you do some volunteering in a hospital to give you a full insight of the role and what you'd be signing up to?

Not running the streets selling guns and snorting coke.

You hope.

I joke. But actually, there are children of that age and younger getting roped into county lines and it’s made easier when they haven’t got a parent at home making sure they’re home in the evening, checking where they are and who they’re with. The other teens running these kids can spot very easily which kids will be easier to run and knowing an 11 year old had no parent at home will make them a target. It’s naive to dismiss that risk.

Just to add to my post, two students in my cohort were in their 50’s. It’s never too late.

[quote Onjnmoeiejducwoapy]@Cheator wow that is MENTAL. I’m not from this country so I’m guessing some of this must be cultural, because that is literally wild to me.[/quote]
I was shocked myself. They were very abrupt with me too. I had sent the younger two to my sisters while I went on my work do, the oldest preferred to stay home and I honestly didn't give it a second thought.

We are talking about under 16s here. Age of consent is 16 in England so 15 year olds aren’t supposed to be out all night having sex. Younger teens can babysit for a few hours but children/young teens being left 12/14 hours overnight regularly isn’t generally seen as an acceptable set up.

Local courses have changed and students no longer have long breaks over the summer. I’m not sure about universities in other areas.

Sorry OP but I think it’s wrong to leave 3 children unsupervised for such long periods, on a regular basis day or night. Also, whilst on placement you need to be fully focused. Would you be worrying about them at home? How would they reach you in an emergency?

As I said in a PP, I trained as a nurse in my 30’s with young children, but had good support from DH and both sets of grandparents. It was still very hard.

I don’t think that being a parent should stop anyone following their dreams, however the welfare of children should always be the priority.

You could do your access course, work as a HCA for a couple of years and then start your degree when they are older.

@Cheator wow that is MENTAL. I’m not from this country so I’m guessing some of this must be cultural, because that is literally wild to me.

They had over heard him talking to his friend on the Monday. They were insistent that before age 16 it is a safeguarding concern.

I qualified in September. (With no kids ) but many on my course had kids and commuted from across the central belt.

It’ll be doable but difficult. That’s no reason to not start it.

You won’t be on placement all the time. You don’t say what field. I’m adult. Placements including community, health visiting (which a lot of adult field had), outpatients, oncology day units don’t involve nights. So when you do have a ward that involves nights (many are quite flexible) it wouldn’t be that many.

LD and MH fields had more community based placements than acute hospital based ones, so again not really involving nights.

In Scotland you get additional funds on top of the bursary. In England I think there’s funds but don’t know if it’s a loan/grant.

Don’t be put off by potential student debt either, I’ve got 40 grand of it

I would say that's a lot of responsibility for the 16 year old, and it could end up being that you work a fair amount of nights on placements, you will also need to sleep between shifts. If it was just going to be once a month or once every few months then sure, but I would look to get something more firm into place for nights to be honest. The mornings shouldn't be as much of an issue as a childminder is doable.

I mean there is a poster up thread who freely admits her 11/12 year old brother was off out god knows where when his mum was working nights.

I mean in terms of levels of responsibility—like they can risk accidental pregnancy but they can’t be trusted to brush their own teeth?!?

I don’t think anyone is worried about them not brushing their teeth. Do you? Is that really the only risk there is to leaving a teen alone overnight?

Yes it is acheiveable.

Organise yourself and house prior to the start. Sort out finances and budges first. DD everything you can. Check you are not wasting money etc.

Clear the house and organise cleaning rotas since your children are all old enough to do their bit. Mine are younger and keep their own rooms tidy plus help with a bit of the house clean at weekends. No drama easy to do this. Set out the rules and stick with them, what is expected of everyone. Online shop, organise cupboards etc.

Good luck - you can do it

I'm planning on doing it next year so I bloody hope so

That’s mental! So they can have sex but they can’t be alone overnight?!?

What does sex have to do with it? Is sex normal a risky endeavour when you do it?

Like yeah I get not leaving them alone for a full weekend, in that case they would go stay with a friend or something. But not even a night? Are they not allowed to do babysitting jobs then?

A 16 year old shouldn’t ever be put in this kind of position.

It is stealing the last few years of their carefree childhood from them.

You can probably ‘make it work’ in the short term, but expect to have difficult conversations with all 3 of them when they’re older.

My childhood involved a similar arrangement and I never forgave my mother for it.

The time do undertake training like this was before you had DC, you really do have a responsibility to make them your top priority here.

Couldn’t you wait until the youngest was 16 or so? That might be an ok compromise.

I genuinely feel like I grew up on a different planet to the others on here.

I was really into horses when I was young. Ok weekends and holidays I’d be dropped off at the yard in the morning and would be collected in the evening. I’d be 10 or so, would deal with the horses by myself, go to the shops to get food, hang out with the other kids. We would be saddling and riding out on big animals, jumping cross country, having a blast of a time. All 100x more dangerous and more responsibility than sitting at home... no adult supervision. Because I knew what I was doing...

onjnmoe NSPCC guidance is not to leave under 16 alone overnight. It’s not a one off could be a placement 6 weeks or more. All it takes is child not to wake and get to school on time for it to come out that they are regularly left alone. Or for ex to make trouble.
It’s not just a few hours overnight nurses work long shifts plus commute. It could be 2 under 16s alone 5pm - school next day (if elder away at University) Day in day out for weeks.

If you can’t trust a 12 year old to not accidentally burn down the house when you’re out of the room, I think that’s pretty weird.

It's not so much trusting them not to accidentally burn down the house so much as how they react when something happens.

For example earlier this year, dh managed to throw coffee over his laptop. This isn't, for anyone who hasn't tried it, a good idea.
He yelped, and I went to see what had happened. He was wiping coffee off the floor (good idea), however as I came in I saw flames inside the laptop. Between us we ran the laptop outside and all was fine (except one dead laptop, and a rather bad smell).

Now if he'd been on his own, there would have been a not inconsiderable chance that the laptop would have gone up. It was close when I came in, he couldn't have seen it, as the flames were coming out of the back, and he was at the front, on the floor wiping up the coffee.

Also if it had gone up suddenly, then he could easily have been trapped in the kitchen by the flames-and his phone was on the table next to the laptop so would have gone up too.

It's not the doing that's worrying-most teenagers won't do anything deliberate, it's the sorting out the issue if it comes up.