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40th Birthday Disappointment

81 replies

Ozzie2020 · 13/01/2021 13:23

I turned 40 recently and I'm massively underwhelmed and sad by the effort my husband made. I see 40 as a big milestone, in the past 10 years I had 3 kids, I have reason to celebrate, it's a privilege to grow old. I know we're in the grip of this pandemic but a takeaway, bunch of flowers and a thoughtful gift would have meant so much to me. He got me a Fitbit (3rd Fitbit he has bought me, he forgot about the other 2), at present I can't even get out for a 20 minute walk daily because he's never home from work on time so this Fitbit is like a plastic lump reminding me of how little exercising I'm doing. No flowers and I ordered our own takeaway. I keep crying and can't shake off this sadness. I feel I deserve better. I said all this and he replied that I'm hard to buy for. My family and friends did remember and sent some lovely messages and gifts. It's such a lonely time as it is without this damp effort for a big birthday. I know I should count my blessings but........

OP posts:
Cuntitinthebin · 13/01/2021 13:38

Yeah, I was going to say at least he made some effort, but your third Fitbit?? That's ridiculous.

Are the other two broken or just unworn? Sell about buy yourself something.

HappyFlamingo · 13/01/2021 13:33

I'm not into big gifts, but to give you a THIRD fitbit is truly rubbish. Make sure you get him socks for his next big birthday.

turtletum · 13/01/2021 13:33

That does seems thoughtless and under whelming. My (not so significant) birthday involved my OH buying a 'fancy' take away, bottle of fizz, cake. He had wanted to take me on a night away but couldn't, obviously. He offered to book for later in the year or to give me cash so I could buy myself some clothes (returning to work after maternity, nothing did me any more). I took the money.

Conkergame · 13/01/2021 13:31

I’m sorry OP, that’s rubbish. Happy birthday! Flowers

It’s not hard to get a cake, card, flowers and take away is it? In fact I did the first 3 for my friend I don’t live with for her recent non-milestone birthday and it took me about 20 minutes online.

Sounds like he takes you for granted, especially with not giving you time to get out and exercise. Think you need to sit him down for a proper talk about how you’re feeling and make it clear he needs to step up. Maybe set aside an evening in the next couple of weekends for a re-do of your birthday, where he gets it right?

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 13/01/2021 13:30

I’m sorry for you. Every single woman I know felt let down by their (male )partner on their 40th.
It’s a milestone and these selfish fuck husbands can’t even get their act together to think ‘what would make the day nice’
One friend didn’t even get a card. Just: oh we’ll celebrate another time.
So: treat yourself to something epic.

rubyslippers · 13/01/2021 13:26

Is he usually that thoughtless?
Because hard to buy for is a pathetic excuse actually
40 is a milestone and I think it takes very little effort for him to buy some flowers / order food and make a fuss
It’s telling you say he’s never home so you can exercise and he’s bought you three fit bits - is there’s a pattern of him not being present / engaged ?

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