I need help to understand Zombies.

"You got red on you" on first reply made me laugh out loud! Epic film!

There was a very disturbing comic series made a few years back that had a twist on the zombie genre, instead of reanimating the dead it was a virus that compelled all the infected to do the absolute worst, most f*ed up things they could think of. Problem was they were too fond of killing each other for fun as well as the uninfected so they tended not to last too long, but because some of them retained a measure of human intelligence they had various inventive ways of infecting new people (think bullets soaked in body fluids before being shot at long distance targets, launching infected at propellers and air vents, using grenades to booby-trap livestock, the list goes on). One of the bleakest things I've ever read, it was great.

There's also a theory of mind that suggests nanomachines, introduced to the body to help fight certain illnesses, self-replicating and infecting new people while also stopping a lot of the deterioration of the body by healing it repeatedly.

I have a podcast that discusses silly theories and we haven't really done anything about zombies just yet, I must fix that. Any zombie experts fancy guesting on an episode?

Well unless you meet a whole load of them trying to attack you you're more than likely able to bash thrm on the head and run away. Yeah you're gonna turn but you'd still be intact

That's why you aim for the head, destroy the brain.

If i ever win the lottery im gonna build a fort with solar panels and wind turbines and a rooftop garden and 20ft walls covered in barbed wire

Walking Dead Zombies: Zombies eat people and animals. If they eat enough of you then you are not going to be a very effective zombie! Though there are just heads that continue to try and bite. Zombies continue to rot and disintegrate so they eventually 'die' themselves. In WD, whatever caused people to become zombies in the first place has infected the whole population, so no matter what the cause of your death, you become a zombie. Damaging the head (shot, blow etc) is the only way to 'kill' an active one. Luckily in WD they are quite slow moving and are not very agile, and tend to move in herds. Scope out good refuges now: prisons and army bases are good....

I think it's timing. If you are unlucky enough to encounter a zombie at dinnertime then you're screwed but if you meet one on it's tea break or elevenses it might just be a bit peckish. OK so it's bite might turn you into one of it's undead cohorts of the damned but at least you've still got your intestines, swings and roundabouts. My advice is, if you are cornered by a zombie, mid morning or mid afternoon, try diverting it's murderous purpose by waving Twix or Pepperami at them. I should add that this doesn't work with vampires. I tried diverting one with a Dairylea Lunchable and now I can't go out in daylight.

I'm pretty sure this was brought up once in the walking dead. Older zombies are more decomposed and slower than newly zombies. There have been a few without limbs that sort of drag themselves around, even one with just a head before trying to bite people....I have spent time thinking about how we could survive as a family 😂😂

@Mypathtriedtokillme
"How successful evolutionarily would a virus be if it kept killing off its hosts so quickly?"
But normally when a virus kills its hosts quickly they stop moving around and therefore trnasmitting the virus as much. Therefore the virus' r rate goes down. In the case of zombiism as a virus (or virus type illness) the victims run around bitey-biting everything for ages. So the normal rules dont apply.

The only one I have failed to get through because it was so inutterably shite was Zombeaver. I really tried, but it was more boring/slow than the start of Human Centipede (which I detested, btw).

“To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you.”

Well done people were immune in wwz, fear the walking dead are apparently experimenting with that as well now

In the first episode of TWD there's a zombie with just the top half of its body dragging itself along waiting for some poor unsuspecting twat to fall over it and get bitten

Has anyone seen Train to Busan? It's the best Z nation film and I've seen them all and let's face it most of them are shite

Or they've evolved into a tree dwelling species.

I quite liked the Mitchell and Webb zombie(ish) series of sketches where it became clear that the zombies (or whoever they were) were capable of mocking the still living. Although possibly too close for comfort now :(

Have you seen that stand up comedian’s bit about why are we afraid of zombies they still only have human teeth which are rubbish just wear leather all over and they can’t get to you?

Zombie Jellyfish are real!

One kind of jellyfish, which might be termed the zombie jelly, is quite literally immortal. When Turritopsis dohrnii “dies” it begins to disintegrate … But then something strange happens. A number of cells escape the rotting body. These cells somehow find each other, and reaggregate to form a polyp. All of this happens within five days of the jellyfish’s “death,” and weirdly, it’s the norm for the species.

Zombies like living people can starve to death.

If you've been ripped apart and half eaten, you can't get food for yourself, so you starve and die. That's why the only ones attacking are intact ones.

But it does largely depend on the writer.

In brain dead body parts continue to attack people. There's a stomach and intestine attacking people.

Oozing gaping wounds are going to be maggotville. Like how sheep get fly blown.

How successful evolutionarily would a virus be if it kept killing off its hosts so quickly?

Surely you’d eventually get people immune or develop Natural resistance to infection. (Like some people have to HIV)
You’d never know if you didn’t stop shooting them in the head straight away.

Or people who would develop reservoir conditions to protect the host from the Virus.

I always sort of wondered what if zombies got really into eating soleros or something, what would happen to the soleros?

*maybe maggots CAN'T eat their flesh