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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year old with a dummy

54 replies

ItsDynamite · 13/11/2020 11:27

Hi all, now I know I might get eviscerated for this but my 5 year old still has a dummy. He gets it in the evening just before bed and uses it to fall asleep, (it normally falls out as soon as he's out,) he hasn't had it in the day for years, but he's still very attached to it at night time. My question is, am I completely crazy to let him continue? He really likes it and I'd feel cruel to take it away from him. It hasn't caused any problems with his teeth or anything. I know he's way too old for it, and I think he probably does too, but surely he won't still be needing it when he's 40?

Apart from the dummy, he's well ahead of a lot of children his age with most things. So AIBU to say it's not the end of the world and let him ditch it in his own time?

OP posts:
TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 13/11/2020 11:31

You need to get rid of it. I say that without judgement at all btw- no flaming from me. Going cold Turkey is the best way in my experience and I shamelessly bought my child’s compliance with a new toy of their choosing. It was all a lot easier than I expected it to be as well.

Nomnomarrgh · 13/11/2020 11:31

You need to step up and be a strong mum. Take the dummy away. The only school-age children I know of who still hold onto dummies have something really nasty going on or has gone on at home. If that’s you, I’m sorry. Otherwise, your child can cope. Short term pain for long-term gain.

Ronia · 13/11/2020 11:31

We had similar with my 4 year old and we did a gradual withdrawal - he stopped having it for bedtime stories for a week, then he stopped having it falling asleep but it was to hand if he needed it in the night/morning, then we took.it away completely and if he did that he could have a new scooter (which he was getting anyway as it was August and he was starting school in September and needed it!). It may have drawn it out a bit but he got over it very quickly. He LOVED his soother. I mean really, really loved it. But he didn't need it and did move on swiftly after a few tough nights getting him to fall asleep without it.

Baboutheocelot · 13/11/2020 11:30

I think the best thing is to get rid of it really. I was terrified of trying to get my son to give up his. He was nearly three and was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Could you start talking to him about it and maybe aim to do it soon in exchange for a nice present?

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