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AIBU?

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Original poster

To complain to neighbours smoking in the garden?

235 replies

Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 15:39

Our neighbours have recently installed a canvas covered parabola thing in their garden, with one side (the side pointing towards our garden) left open.

They are now using this as an all seasons smoking shelter. Many times through the day and most evenings they are sat out there puffing away.

The problem is it is completely stinking out my house. The whole of our top floor now stinks of smoke. I've shut the windows be it is still coming in through the vents. I've bought new air fresheners which help but it's still awful.

As non smokers it's really unbearable for us I'm also worried about young children and the health effect to them.

Would I be unreasonable to ask them to stop, or at least to add a 4th panel to their shelter to reduce what reaches our home?

OP posts:
MiniMaxi · 24/10/2020 23:52

PS I suspect everyone having a go on this thread is either a smoker or lives with one so isn’t fussed

ClarenceBoddicker · 24/10/2020 23:51

Plus missed the PHD thing. Even if it’s an unrelated issue I expect anyone who has obtained one to be intelligent, actually highly intelligent. Your health concerns about someone smoking in their garden are what I’d expect from an extremely unintelligent person

MiniMaxi · 24/10/2020 23:50

I’m with you OP - I HATE the smell of cigarette smoke, and I don’t want my son breathing it. Downstairs neighbour had a friend staying who smoked a lot out of window below ours and it stank the place our. Likewise next door guy smokes in the street outside and I have to shut our windows when he’s doing it.

Unfortunately you can’t really ask them not to smoke outside but I think it’s reasonable to mention it really bothers you and could they block off the side of the gazebo or whatever it is facing your house.

Nanny0gg · 24/10/2020 23:48

It really wouldn't hurt to ask.

ClarenceBoddicker · 24/10/2020 23:43

They’re in their garden. Not forcing themselves into a cubicle and breathing the smoke into your face. Crazy to be concerned about it as a health issue compared to infinitely more other ones. You’re entitled to not like the smell and perhaps raise it with them as being a nuisance but cut the garbage out

ClarenceBoddicker · 24/10/2020 23:36

I’m with the dissenters. I don’t doubt the smell of smoke and perhaps how it lingers on your clothes etc is unpleasant. If you stuck to that I’d be more sympathetic and on your side. But hyperbolic health issue claims about how breathing in smoke make me roll my eyes. Passive smoking is a real thing. It referred to the likes of Roy Castle who worked full time in an unventilated club in smoke but not comparable. You’re not a risk at all health wise so stick to you find it horrible. A neighbours cigarette is minuscule compared to the general air pollution you’re probably subject to continuously

nildesparandum · 24/10/2020 22:59

Where I live a lot of gardens stink of cannabis, they smoke nicotine as well but the cannabis smell covers the nicotine one, so OP might prefer cannabis smokers beside her instead?

jessstan1 · 24/10/2020 22:50

[quote SomewhereEast]@OverTheRainbow88

Oh give over. They're not "breathing in smoke". I grew up in a household where the adults smoked so heavily that the you could barely see the hand in front of your face in the kitchen of an evening and the 'white' walls were actually yellow. THAT'S breathing in smoke Grin. I would actually have a sliver of sympathy for the OP if her language wasn't so hyperbolic - I mean living in a war zone is "really unbearable", not smelling some smoke[/quote]
I quite agree.

eastegg · 24/10/2020 22:49

Everyone having little stupid digs about OP's qualifications, you're all coming across really badly. Just stop it. She clearly only mentioned it because someone said smoke drifting up and through the vents 'defies the laws of physics'.
Inverted snobbery is deeply unattractive. If people came on here and laughed at an OP for having no qualifications they'd quite rightly get slaughtered.

snowplop · 24/10/2020 22:44

Great result!

Fuck me though Mumsnet has changed. Some people are so mean!

Original poster
Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 22:34

Greeneyes fortunately I have more considerate neighbours

OP posts:
Original poster
Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 22:31

Bootikin - another one who has to take out their insecurities on strangers on the internet. You have my sympathies.

OP posts:
MrsPernicious · 24/10/2020 22:24

Pergola's are closer to saddles

Greeneyes78 · 24/10/2020 22:21

You’d be getting my mortgage account number if you thought you had a say in what I do in my back garden.

Bootikin · 24/10/2020 22:15

Huge sympathy re the smoke but find it difficult to take a physics expert seriously who doesn’t know the difference between parabola and pergola, sorry.

MasksGlovesSoapScrubs · 24/10/2020 21:55

That's good they were understanding. It's horrible when you can smell smoke in your own home. Next doors son was smoking outside and I used to shut my window every time as it was summer obviously I'd have the windows open. He actually noticed I was shutting the windows and apologised and moved further down. Not everyone is assholes Smile

ftm202020 · 24/10/2020 21:50

You can't mention on Mumsnet if you have a PhD, it makes people super insecure and they go on the attack for some reason.

Original poster
Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 21:44

Ballsdeep keep digging if you will. I called out some ridulous (and frankly mean) comments
I'm sure you aren't nasty to people in real life. I'm glad Mumsnet provides you an outlet but perhaps address your real issues?

OP posts:
ballsdeep · 24/10/2020 21:43

@Quickncjust4this

Apologies for my spelling error to the pp's with an issue with it. I'm also sorry you feel the need the come and be mean to people you don't know on the internet. I could try and make some observation about what it says about you as a person but let's just call a spade a spade and say you like to try and make someone feel small , I won't make assumptions why but I won't make a pretence that it isn't a nasty thing to do either.
Even though you tried to make people feel small for making "silly comments" by spouting off your qualifications? Let's call a spade a spade....
KittyMcKitty · 24/10/2020 21:13

Ah I see you’ve already spoken to them - fantastic- pleased it’s sorted.

KittyMcKitty · 24/10/2020 21:13

@BoulangerieBabs

Right so we've ascertaineddespite Op ignoring me that it's a pergola.

Do pergolas have sides these days? Wouldn't that be a gazebo?

@snowplop a pagoda ina suburban back garden would've been awesome Grin

I think Pergolas by definition are an open structure. So I’m picturing more of a gazebo.

OP they probably have no idea of the effect it’s having on yiu / your house. I would mention it and maybe they can direct the opening away from your house. You have my sympathies it must be horrid.

Original poster
Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 21:04

Thanks to everyone who offered sensible advice, either advising reasonable or unreasonable.
Bumped into neighbours on the drive about an hour ago. They were brilliantly understanding have closed the 4th side of the whatever it's called gazebo thing. We are greatful and dropped them a bottle of wine as a thanks.
Thank goodness Mumsnet and the real world and different !

OP posts:
Original poster
Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 21:01

Somewhereeast I also grew up in a house with a constant fog of cigarette smoke. Both my parents died of cancer in their 50's. It's not really a competition on how much smoke our bodies can tolerate is it?
I can't stand the smell of it, and it makes me really anxious as to the harm it's doing to my children. But hey, you survived a smokers house so the rest of us should put up with anything that's not quite so bad huh?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Quickncjust4this · 24/10/2020 20:58

Apologies for my spelling error to the pp's with an issue with it. I'm also sorry you feel the need the come and be mean to people you don't know on the internet.
I could try and make some observation about what it says about you as a person but let's just call a spade a spade and say you like to try and make someone feel small , I won't make assumptions why but I won't make a pretence that it isn't a nasty thing to do either.

OP posts:
ExclamationPerfume · 24/10/2020 20:14

You have my sympathy. Our neighbour smokes in the back garden. Within seconds I can smell it throughout our upstairs. It comes in the air vents. He also seems to time his morning fag when I am in the shower with the window open. The smell is vile. It's so anti-social.