Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm a shit mum - please help me be better

29 replies

HelpNeeded92 · 18/10/2020 18:10

I'm a single mum of 2 DC, 6 year old DD and 21 month old DS. Their dad isn't around. DD is lovely, beautiful and funny but extremely spirited and does not stop fucking talking. She constantly needs attention and winds her brother up. I'm currently on universal credit (with aims to start university next year) and we have limited funds. The bills are paid and there is food on the table but there isn't much spare. I feel lonely, overwhelmed and just a bit sad. I don't think I am depressed. I lost my shit at DD tonight, burst in to tears and ask her if she enjoys upsetting me like this. I feel like crap for that. This isn't the life I wanted, I wanted a "proper" family. Fat chance of me ever getting that now. I'm 29. How do I learn to parent properly and be more patient, I'm rubbish. I love these kids so much and worry I'm fucking them up emotionally. :(

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 18/10/2020 18:16

Give her a hug, say you are sorry you shouted. Explain that it's hard work looking after you all, and you get tired and grumpy, but that you love her to the moon and back.

Two parent families do all the same stuff- lose their tempers, snap at each other as well as the D.C.

Don't be hard on yourself.

Try some strategies to give you time for yourself. It could be a quiet half hour where they sit and look after each other, while you have a bit of peace and a cuppa on your own. If they manage it, give them a biscuit. If they don't, never mind, we'll try again another time. Routine and structure is your friend, it means everyone knows what's happening so they need you less.

saveforthat · 18/10/2020 18:16

Hello. Kids are hard work sometimes don't be too hard on yourself. Do you have any family or good friends nearby?

Original poster
HelpNeeded92 · 18/10/2020 18:15

@LIZS

Do you ever get one to one time with dd?
Hi. Unfortunately not at the moment.
OP posts:
LIZS · 18/10/2020 18:12

Do you ever get one to one time with dd?