Nursery withholding DS drink

I am fuming, @T33l9 - how very dare you come on AIBU and have everything work out easily and quickly, with no bunfights!

Seriously - I’m glad it was sorted out so easily for you.

Happy for you op

That's really good

Great result.

Lovely

Oh, that was a good update to read, OP :)

Fantastic! Good outcome.
Maybe at home give him two drinks each time. Juice and plain water. Leave both out and don’t mention it. He might end up reaching for the water as often as the juice.

Good luck op, it’s a bloody long road but worth it.

Glad it’s sorted!

My son takes these in his lunchbox they’re are completely clear like water but very much taste of juice not flavoured water they say out of Stock on line but I buy them in store every week if u have an Iceland near u and it’s £1 for 12 just an idea and I’m sorry your going through this sounds very tough jus try thought this might be an option www.iceland.co.uk/p/calypso-clear-natural-mineral-water-cups-drinks-12-x-185ml/49008.html

As a child I wouldn't drink water because even at age 2.5 my iarebts let me have coke!! My 5 year old happily drinks water because apart from milk that was the only thing I gave him for the first 2 years of his life! At school they are only allowed water so if you can wean him.off the squash now it will help in the long run.

DS 5 has watched his peers drink school milk for 2.5 years. Won't touch the stuff. Same for any fruit that isn't apple - 2?5 years of snack time, he just goes without if there's no apple. Likewise lunches and toileting.

Yes it might work for the majority of kids, but the idea that ALL kids will do it if they're thirsty / see Bobby doing it / aka their parents were less useless isn't true and isn't helpful
T

It is interesting that peer pressure makes such a difference.
My DD at that age wouldn't drink squash, only water or milk.
However once she discovered other kids drank diluted squash, she'd empty any child's beaker left lying around! Before that she spat it out. (And doesn't like it at all now she's older)
Likewise the potty/toilet. A friend's (older) daughter came over at a time mine was happily using a toilet step and the loo. Because Ellie didn't need to use a step as she was taller, mine refused to use the step so either wailed for assistance or used the potty - for months! What a pain!

Not pooing at nursery isn't constipation. DS didn't for a long time, even before potty training but was most definitely not constipated- just chose when to poo in his nappy (lucky me!)

DS is NT but is often quite thirsty when he arrives home. He does however drink a HUGE amount, like his dad.

It is reasonable to ask for more evidence of hydration than 'sips'

And as many others said, a nappy change just before pick up is very usual- I'd say no, it's ok, don't do it if he was next when I picked him up.

Also you could ask them not to change him last thing? Then you'll know for sure he's had some fluids. And only change him when he needs it. Then you can account for the nappy changes.

I agree with updown, however I think nurseries should allow parents a period of adjustment too, to get used to the idea. It's like they are losing some control over their parenting

Hi op, I hope you manage to come to the best arrangement for DS, one which you feel comfortable with. I’ve been an early years teacher since 2001 including working in SEN schools. Quite often SEN children’s fixed ways of thinking are radically different in different settings. We have often found our little ones only drinking water/milk in school even when offered something else (which we would do from time to time purposefully to aid with transitions).

My DD goes to a mainstream nursery and eats fish and veg for meals there. No meat. They are able to make allowances for her for her diet. Why can't your son be allowed to have his diluted squash? The mind boggles. As a previous poster said he could be allowed his fluids in private.

Not that this helps you but mine always comes back thirsty from the place so I am pretty sure as a given some nurseries are not keeping en eye on the fluid intake of all the kids present.

My daughter started nursery in July. At home she poops 1-3 times a day. She's only just started popping at nursery last month. I think that's because she's very settled and happy now(?)

Fantastic post from updown

A lot of children with additional needs also do a lot of compartmentalising where they will associate one thing or behaviour with one setting and not do that anywhere else.

At home the only crisps DS will eat are salt and vinegar (has to be walkers), at school they would go uneaten but he will eat Asda ready salted crisps in school (but never at home, when lockdown started I had a lot of ready salted crisps to eat to make sure they didn’t go off!)

Same with drinks for him, he will only drink Asda orange and mango at home but at school he will only drink flavoured water. When out he will drink lemonade but can tell different brands and is very fussy.

I have long since realised there is no point trying to second guess. It could well be that he is drinking enough water throughout the day even if at home it would be turned down.

Something to consider: even sugar free juice is horrendous for teeth, due to the acid. if nursery helps you to reduce acidic juice intake (and help you safe his teeth), i would grasp that opportunity with both hands.
Yes, I have a extremely picky SENDs child - and some relatively short days where he only sips water will not damage him.

You’re right @T33l9, that’s a fab post from updown. My little one is a big one now and I totally understand where you are coming from. Let them help you, and him. He’s going to learn and change so much in the next few years, and so will you. Sadly for us Ds still only drinks water and milk so I’d be bowled over by the sips of something new.

@ T33l9

P.S, I'm writing as both a professional with extensive experience working with SEN kids in residential/ social care as well as a parent of an SEN child and step parent of another SEN child.