Unless you're dumping the kids in front of the telly all day while you sit looking at crap on the internet and painting your nails, while leaving the house and garden a mess, the dog unwalked and nuggets every day for tea, then no, how can yyou be lazy?
A SAHM does the job of a nanny if they do it properly, educating and entertaining a child and giving one to one attention more than they'd get in a nursery. Would you call a nanny lazy? They do the job of a cleaner, would you call a cleaner lazy? And a gardener - same question. Maybe even a painter and decorator. etc etc.
However. Your relationship is what the problem is, not what you're doing (presuming you're doing all that). You FEEL lazy because you don't see earnings for it going into your bank account like the employees I've just mentioned would. Your husband isn't even giving you access to the money he earns while you do eveyrthing else so he doesn't have to stress, hire a cleaner/clean himself, or leave meetings early or take days off when the children are sick. You must feel that all that you do doesn't DESERVE this "payment". This will make your self-esteem shrink to nothing if it hasn't already.
I'm afraid I wouldn't stay with a man who kept me as an unpaid slave. Apart from anything else it's such a major turnoff, I would feel like his mother/housekeeper and couldn't bring myself to sleep with him.
Insist on sharing his bank account and being allowed to use it for whwhatever you need. If he doesn't agree, tell him you will need to go out and earn your own money then so he will need to hire a cleaner for half his share of the housework and pick the children up half the week. He'll need to save more of his annual leave for school holiday childcare too