The Secret

@022828MAN
You said mind control, I didn't. It's the alignment of events, not forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. If you don't know what that means then you don't understand it - it's not that deep

anyone who believes that wishing to find some money and then stumbling across a stray £10 note is a result of 'The Secret' rather than sheer coincidence is seriously deluded and worryingly credulous

It's not coincidence. It's the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon ie selective attention and confirmation bias.

It’s called confirmation bias.

It’s harmless if you just use it to get yourself into a more positive mindset. I’m a natural Eeyore type character (or Sadness if you’ve seen Pixar’s Inside Out) so appreciate the power of positive thinking. But it’s when people start to believe your mind can genuinely cause major life events to happen or bring financial success or material gain that it gets dangerous. You can’t control everything and recognising that is healthy, instead of thinking that if you just wish hard enough you’ll get something. And as pp have raised, it also implies a lot of blame for those that have difficulties in life - if they just wished hard enough they’d be rich/wouldn’t have cancer/a bad marriage etc. It’s in line with the American Dream concept that anyone could be rich and successful if they just work hard enough - ignoring completely that people come from very different circumstances and also that there is a lot of luck in life.

[quote IMissMenthols]@022828MAN You've contradicted yourself 'Isn't the whole 'Secret' about having a mindful approach to setting cogs in motion for things to happen for you', isn't that exactly what I did? I didn't say that it was purely for manifesting exes it was an example.

The law of attraction is in relation to the law of vibration, everything in the Universe is made from the same material which is energy. That's a fact that even a cynic can't argue. Your thoughts and feelings can result in manifestations, I simply used an example - seems you only took notice of one of the three?[/quote]
Are you implying that your thoughts somehow controlled the actions of someone else though, because that's a whole lot different to wishing for a ten pound note and finding it on the pavement? You set an intention about the ex and he suddenly posted on FB?

I think The Secret and the whole Law of Attraction thing has been used to manipulate people. I am a psychotherapist working in the NHS and private practice and over the many years I’ve been working I have noticed the unfortunate effect it can have. It moves the “blame” for poor mental health onto the individual; they are not “thinking positively”, have “the wrong mindset”, “don’t want recovery enough”. People seek out support from coaches and “therapists” who have marinaded themselves in these concepts and do damage.

Secondly, these concepts are used in the network marketing industry/MLM/pyramid schemes to control people; to persuade them that if they want to succeed in, for example, Forever Living they must want it enough, they must visualise success, if they are unsuccessful they didn’t want it enough, they had the wrong mindset - this is a manipulation because the MLM world has a >99% failure rate; try visualing your way past that fact. The visualisation of the positive is used as a distraction away from the obvious red flags. Critics (family and friends who are concerned) are dismissed as unimaginative people who don’t understand The Secret and have a negative and closed mindset. These techniques are the same ones used in cults and closed groups.

Humans have a capacity to make links where there are none. Jung talks about meaningful coincidences in his concept of synchronicity and psychologists recognise humans’ fallibility to our own bias which we may not even recognise but which we all have. The confirmation bias mentioned upthread is absolutely right.

I think that positive thinking, being clear on your realistic goals in life is a good thing. If positive visualisation is motivating then that is also a good thing but context is everything and “positive thinking” can become irrational thinking and magical thinking which can be very damaging to the individual. The example of the cancer patient told to think positive and to “fight” is a case in point. They no more attracted the disease to themselves than repelled it through positive visualisation.

Humans have two basic demands, for control and for certainty; the rational position is that you can have neither and a healthier mind is built on the acceptance of that. The belief that events can be controlled and that certainty can be obtained through a certain type of thinking and the purchase of Rhonda Byrne’s book is bollocks.

Enjoy the positive coincidences but leave at that.

[quote IMissMenthols]@022828MAN You've contradicted yourself 'Isn't the whole 'Secret' about having a mindful approach to setting cogs in motion for things to happen for you', isn't that exactly what I did? I didn't say that it was purely for manifesting exes it was an example.

The law of attraction is in relation to the law of vibration, everything in the Universe is made from the same material which is energy. That's a fact that even a cynic can't argue. Your thoughts and feelings can result in manifestations, I simply used an example - seems you only took notice of one of the three?[/quote]
How is asking a question contradicting myself?
If you genuinely believe you sent vibrations into the universe for your ex to post on Facebook then I'd say you're delusional.
I can understand it working in regards to new job, fitness, wellbeing etc. A positive mindset will bring on positive results generally. But being able to mind control exs, for example; batshit.

The Secret and similar products reminds me of is the TV evangelists I grew up. My Catholic-raised mother loved so many of them.

Plenty of testimonials going on that joining in the prayer or donating or buying their books/courses/videos made their prayers come true, leading others to buy them.

Those who failed aren't shown and are often scolded, said that they didn't have enough faith, needed to pray/donate/pay more, or god was teaching them a lesson and they needed to listen more, repent more and be less 'stony soil' by donating/paying more. Far too many people wasting far more money than they should and doing fuck all about their life situations because 'they'd planted a seed and were now awaiting the harvest' (one would think they'd know more about how farming works, but no...). So I struggle to find it fun.

As pps mentioned, confirmation bias fuels this and repeated studies shown sound evidence that spending a lot of time dreaming about something leads people to take less action, something I saw a lot growing up. One can be self-confident, take positive action, and not think there is a secret power out there deciding whether to make things happen for you based on whether you've thought positively enough. That's just magical thinking - the universe can't care what we think about and personally I find that far more freeing towards my goals than any 'laws' of attraction.

@022828MAN You've contradicted yourself 'Isn't the whole 'Secret' about having a mindful approach to setting cogs in motion for things to happen for you', isn't that exactly what I did? I didn't say that it was purely for manifesting exes it was an example.

The law of attraction is in relation to the law of vibration, everything in the Universe is made from the same material which is energy. That's a fact that even a cynic can't argue. Your thoughts and feelings can result in manifestations, I simply used an example - seems you only took notice of one of the three?

Is this part of the "everything happens for a reason" school of bollocks thought?

So I, as an infertile woman, can't have children because I don't want them enough??

I can see how a bit of faith in oneself could help with, for example, a job interview or a negotiation at work, but anyone who believes that wishing to find some money and then stumbling across a stray £10 note is a result of 'The Secret' rather than sheer coincidence is seriously deluded and worryingly credulous.

Do it I have watched the secret a few times on Netflix and I want the book to go with it. I am part of an LOA group. I need to get my bum in to gear though and start doing it again. Just remember “Thoughts become things”. Good luck with it all.

THIS IS SO FAR BEYOND BOLLOX THAT IT IS ACTUALLY PITIFUL!!!

YANBU I live my life by this and have manifested large sums of money, business opportunities etc even yesterday I absentmindedly set an intention about my ex then went on FB only to see that he had posted. He never comes up on my feed and I have not seen or spoken to him in forever - he was the first post

It can because it sends the message that if you’re the trafficked child, the modern day slave, the rape victim, the catfished then you just didn’t wish for nice things enough. It leads to a victim blaming mentality

Why not? It either works or it doesn't. If I read the book and find out I can't resurrect the dead and create my zombie army, I'll be really disappointed.

LMAO. I would totally do it for a zombie army.

A friend of mine got into this when he was unhappy. I think it was his third or so cult-like attempt to fix his life the wrong way. As usual it was brilliant for a while and I was such a cynic discount his experience, but the false confidence and bravado never lasts.

Fortunately on the come down from The Secret he was finally able to be a bit more self-critical and do something positive about his difficulties. It was lovely to catch up with him recently and see him genuinely happy- he didn't spout bollocks once.

It can't hurt to try. It really can.

If only those that are destitute, modern day slaves, sex trafficked individuals if only they followed this BS then they’d be ok, is that it??

I really want to get into this! My sister read the book and she says it really changed her life! I might try it!

A really good friend did. She'd been made redundant, her relationship ended, she was so low. Someone bought her the book. Within a few months she had got an amazing new job, met her now husband and they bought a new house together. Life has gone brilliantly for her ever since.

It can't hurt to try.

Isn't The Secret about a mindset which will in turn lead to the outcomes that you drive towards?

I'm confused to the links of the ten pound note or 99 red balloons... Aren't they just coincidences?

I really really really want my neighbours to move...are you saying if I wish for it hard enough, it will happen?! Its been 3 years now and theyve not moved yet.

Have you tried wishing for them to win £X millions on the lottery? They'd probably move then.

Positive thinking might have some benefits in some situations, but there is no magical 'secret'.

By the law of averages, some things we wish for will 'come true'. Psychologically, we want to feel we have as much control over our lives as possible, so it can be tempting to think we have brought about these successes through supernatural means, but success usually results from a combination of luck, opportunity, circumstance, aptitude and effort.

[quote Tapiocaisbleurgh]@Jellybeansincognito exactly- it’s just BS. Murder victims clearly didn’t want it not to happen enough. People driven to suicide clearly didn’t send their wants clearly. People in concentration camps should have tried a bit harder? Ffs[/quote]
Absolutely!