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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU people staring into my house

190 replies

Wheredidallmytreesgo · 03/06/2020 18:16

Having the front garden wall redone. Living room at the front of the house, exposed. Fairly sizeable driveway but still, several times a day (and worse, evening when I’ve got my slobs on and stuffing my face with snacks 😁), people stop outside my house, gawping and pointing at the work being done and shamelessly staring into my living room/at me. For actually what’s a very uncomfortable amount of time.

AIBU? I feel like I’m in a zoo. Don’t people realise that this is quite rude?!

Any ideas of how to respond? I usually duck and hide but this evening tried just hard staring at one couple, as they were really pointing and discussing the house/looking straight at me. Didn’t seem to do anything though. Maybe walking around naked should scare them off.

PS, we don’t have any curtains because it’s a great window with a window seat, and there was/will be a nice high wall so this problem won’t last forever. But just to say we can’t draw the curtains 😭

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grey12 · 04/06/2020 18:35

I lived somewhere for a year that was a bit overlooked (during uni, some halls of residence)

Anyways, I put some newspaper in the bottom half of the window. Still had plenty of light but privacy from ghe street. A very temporary solution?

Lincolnfield · 04/06/2020 18:30

Reminds me of the time, after a good night out, I stared into people’s windows because they’d all left their curtains wide open and I was saying ‘they only do that because they want you to look at their posh houses.’. Much to my friend’s amusement I walked straight into a lamppost and blacked my eye! 😂😂

GrannyBags · 04/06/2020 18:29

I can’t even start with how unimportant this is in the present situation. Lucky you that you will soon have a big high wall to protect you. Until then close the curtains or just don’t be in that room. Whatever

YouDancin · 04/06/2020 18:09

Put your Christmas tree up in front of your window - with ALL of the lights and jazz on it FULL bling. That wiil give em something to stare at.

AIBU people staring into my house
ultrablue · 04/06/2020 11:10

Op, they would typically stop, sometimes hold onto my fence and say something like "it's a nice day isn't it?"
Me; yes lovely.
Them: you've got your work cut out.
Me: yes I know
Them: is that a clematis?
Me: yes it is
Them: oh I like clematis, such a lovely flower.
Me: pauses wondering what else to say
Them: well I'll let you crack on then, bye.
I didnt know them either!

I get this every time I try and do my front garden, I have a huge monkey puzzle tree which draws attention

RingaRosie · 04/06/2020 10:43

My Mum loves having a stroll around the neighborhood & seeing what “work” the neighbours are having done. It’s almost like a hobby!

Bluesheep8 · 04/06/2020 10:40

just tape some sheets of newspaper up until the wall is finished

Simple as that

Shutupyoutart · 04/06/2020 10:29

We get this Alot people walk past and stare in the window I find it very rude and annoying. I've started waving at people who do it they usually give a quick wave back and glance/walk away most people would be abashed when caught staring.

Jeremyironsnothing · 04/06/2020 10:06

I love looking at people's houses and gardens as I walk. Even better if I can catch a glimpse of the interior. I don't want to see people and am disappointed if I do, as I feel the need to avert my gaze, so do people like me a favour, and stay in the back of your house. Then it's win win...

People are walking more during this pandemic. You are wanting to spoil our entertainment. Don't be miserable Grin

emilybrontescorsett · 04/06/2020 09:45

I wonder if some people are just more nosey than others. I was in the supermarket last week, hot day. I was wearing shorts, a vest and flip flops, i was going back to sit in my garden. I noticed a woman in a dress, midi length looking me up and down, she made me feel quite uncomfortable. I wasn’t the only person in shorts and a vest either. My vest covered my bra so I wasn’t showing my underwear or anything. I sometimes think what the hell are you staring at?
Perhaps they don’t realise they are doing it.

Wheredidallmytreesgo · 03/06/2020 23:01

@ginfordinner

Lucky
You don’t live with us then 😜

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Ginfordinner · 03/06/2020 22:27

I would hate not having curtains at the window. It makes the room feel cold and unfinished. In winter curtains make the room feel warmer because they act as insulation, and they make the room lighter because the window is just a black space without curtains in front of it.

I also feel vulnerable with the curtains open if it is dark outside and the lights are on.

maddening · 03/06/2020 22:19

If it is light outside still it is unlikely they can see much inside your house, have a walk out and look back to see what is really visible.

Wheredidallmytreesgo · 03/06/2020 22:01

(I do love a clematis though. We have one too!)

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Wheredidallmytreesgo · 03/06/2020 22:01

@emilybrontescorsett

I don’t know what is more annoying ; you being harassed in your garden with small talk (autocorrect wanted to change to anal talk, thanks autocorrect 🤣) OR PEOPLE STILL SUGGESTING CURTAINS

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emilybrontescorsett · 03/06/2020 21:57

Op, they would typically stop, sometimes hold onto my fence and say something like "it's a nice day isn't it?"
Me; yes lovely.
Them: you've got your work cut out.
Me: yes I know
Them: is that a clematis?
Me: yes it is
Them: oh I like clematis, such a lovely flower.
Me: pauses wondering what else to say
Them: well I'll let you crack on then, bye.
I didnt know them either!

1Morewineplease · 03/06/2020 21:51

Curtains? Blinds? Shutters? Voiles? Or ( shudders) nets?
There’s semi opaque sticky backed plastic even.
Or ... ignore completely.

SummerBaby2020 · 03/06/2020 21:41

@Wheredidallmytreesgo I never even thought of that!! Roll up! Roll up! £5 a ticket that includes popcorn and a jug of diluting juice!! Alternatively BYOB......and one for me too for when I’m done a bottle of Gin please don’t care what kind Gin Grin

clolo · 03/06/2020 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheredidallmytreesgo · 03/06/2020 21:19

What exactly are you building? A wall or a scale model of the Sistine Chapel?
Surely to God a brick wall can't have people doubling back for a second look, as if they couldn't credit what they'd seen the first time?!

I am in no way exaggerating about the amount of time and effort people are taking to examine my wall. It’s an incredibly bog standard wall. It’s a reasonably nice house but sandwiched between nicer houses! It makes not a lick of sense to me, which is part of the reason I find it so bloody annoying.

@emilybrontescorsett

How odd! What would they say?!

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Bargebill19 · 03/06/2020 21:02

Our brown dirt might just be turning to green grass ... it’s raining!! Mind you it’s keeping people in their homes - every cloud has a silver lining!!
Yep it’s definitely your post box - put a bin bag over it ... those nosy peeps will walk right on by looking for it.

emilybrontescorsett · 03/06/2020 20:59

I used to live on a main road. I had a big front garden which was below pavement level. I never found people staring in but every single time I was in the garden, either sitting in it or gardening, someone would stop and talk to me. I even had to switch off the mower as they would make conversation. I had a fence but that didn't stop them as they were always a higher level than me. Whatever I was doing someone would stop and strike up a conversation, it was bizarre.

Thisismytimetoshine · 03/06/2020 20:39

@Wheredidallmytreesgo

I think some people aren’t understanding the level of staring! Cursory glance, fine. One man just walked past, just slowly, slowly staring at every aspect of the wall/driveway/house. He stopped to look. He looked back again. It’s not just normal walking past and having a glance.

Also STOP SUGGESTING FUCKING CURTAINS 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

What exactly are you building? A wall or a scale model of the Sistine Chapel? Surely to God a brick wall can't have people doubling back for a second look, as if they couldn't credit what they'd seen the first time?!
Wheredidallmytreesgo · 03/06/2020 20:37

@SummerBaby2020

Maybe we use the front rooms
For home birth and see who is brave enough to watch? Maybe sell some tickets and popcorn? 🤩

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SummerBaby2020 · 03/06/2020 20:36

I think your right @Wheredidallmytreesgo they also like to stare when I’m on my pregnancy ball too which is the right colour bright blue ha ha 🤣 I now wave to them.....no one has waved back yet....I don’t know what I’ll do if someone does lol!!