DBS form insists I use MISS AIBU to insist on MS?

I agree with some of you actually. 'Miss' just makes me sound young. I'm vain at the end of the day and don't cope well with the ageing process.

Plus, I like 'Miss' because it's all I've ever been; I never got involved in the whole marriage thing. Maybe one day ......

I've used Ms since I was about 20 (30 odd years). Unbelievable that some people still don't accept it as a valid title for either an unmarried or a currently married woman.

qweryuiop the form is an online form so writing NA is not possible. The boxes for date of use of name ONLY appears when I select the title Ms from the title list. There is no option to select no title.
Perhaps I should have gone for "Lady" for a laugh, but but the last person who I knew who did this (she is a Lady- being the daughter of an earl but keeps it quiet) had the HR department gossiping that she had undergone gender reassignment (for which they were reported to the Principal).

I filled out an NHS form earlier this year at a drop in clinic for contraception. They really tied themselves in knots trying to accomodate 'everyone'.

e.g. Male/Female/Transman/Transwoman/Non Binary/Prefer Not to Say

"Who do you have sex with?" Men (including transmen)/Women (including transwomen) etc etc.

Seemed a little over the top as a biological male presumably would not want or need the depo injection

Yet apparently allowing someone to call themselves 'Ms' on an official form is a step too far and, as some PPs seem to think, 'just being difficult'.

@SporadicNamechange good on you! Me too, although dh was never fussed.

Of course it's archaic! A man is Mr no matter what. A woman's title is all to do with whether she's married or not. Miss sounds like a 14 year old to me, so I chose Ms the second I could.

So, @heartsonacake wrote out the rules that many people imagine when people give their titles. If these were rules, then it would be a problem in my eyes (women being sorted by their marital status, but men no need). The form you're trying to fill in clearly makes this assumption, so should be changed. I certainly couldn't get worked up about it though, and you seem to have a simple workaround (either put your name as is in the box, or just write N/A).

And I'm married btw.

I'm a Ms and I just don't write another name. Are you doing it on a laptop?

Mrs DH’sSurname is his stepmum. I’m Dr Namechange.

And my surname is way better than his anyway. 😆

His mum did suggest that he should change his surname to mine. But he didn’t want to.

He was actually pretty upset that I didn’t want to go with the ‘tradition’ of subjugating both my identity and social status to his. But given he didn’t want to change his name, he had to accept that he was being unreasonable.

soupdragon yes I did, but now I want to have a gender and marriage neutral title. I reserve the right to call myself whatever I wish and to change my mind. What I do not want is to call myself Mrs or Miss.

It’s simple. Not married? Miss. Married? Mrs. Been married but now divorced? Ms. It’s not archaic just because you don’t agree with it.

It’s completely archaic. How could it not be?

The fact that so many women are still - in 2020 - so attached to the idea that their title (a proxy for social status) should be attached to whether a man is willing to be married to them or not absolutely astounds me.

Why don’t we have different titles for men based on their marital status, since it matters so much? Indeed, why isn’t there even a different abbreviation for Mister and Master?

It’s easy enough for forms to ask everyone about any history of name changing. There’s no need for it to be seen as a woman-only thing.

In fact, why do we even need gendered titles at all? Or titles at all? The whole thing is totally archaic.

I loathe Miss, but I would not deny your right to use it Missnicelegs. I respect your right to call yourself by whatever title you wish.

I'm married and use Ms, I put my surname in both boxes as I never changed it. Worked fine on my last DBS check (last year)

Now I want to be Mx

An hour ago you wanted to be Ms

I was Ms before I got married (because I wasn't 12 any more)

Well, I'm 53 and I insist on 'Miss': absolutely loathe Ms. And Mx.

However nobody's being unreasonable to request the title of their choice.

heartsonacake, I'm interested –do you think using Ms is incorrect? Or is it just not your preference?

qweryuiop No, you absoultely do not have to change your title.

*sparklfairy" Yes indeed. We must not upset the big strong men that look after us so well.

Do you have to change your title to Mrs when married?

Mx is nothing but a silly principle for those of a certain mindset that embarrass’ women as a whole.

A certain mindset that rejects the patriarchy you mean and therefore makes said mindset difficult and awkward? I mean, why can we not just accept oppression like good little girls?

heartsoncake you are incorrect. Merely stating that Ms is for divorced women does not make it true. It was a title developed by women in the 1700's so that we do not have to disclose our marital status. Our marital status is irrelevent to anyone unless we choose to disclose it.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ms.

Don't passport applications do something like ask for your current name and then - regardless of sex or marital status - for all previous names? (None, in the OPs case). I'd have thought that would be what the DBS should be doing.

Just put your name in the box 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s simple. Not married? Miss. Married? Mrs. Been married but now divorced? Ms. It’s not archaic just because you don’t agree with it.