To be annoyed at IVF comments

A lot of people who claim benefits as parents often get told that they shouldn’t have had a child unless financially secure. But the argument that it’s a biological right to reproduce then that would counter such an opinion.

I don't think anyone really begrudges people living off benefits for having one or two children. It's when they decide to have three or four or five whilst people who don't claim benefits are carefully weighing up whether they can afford to have a second that people feel it's taking the piss.

@Fantasiaa, no, infertility isn't in itself life threatening but people have committed suicide because of it.

@JingsMahBucket infertility is absolutely a disease. Wtf are you talking about?

OP YANBU but as other wiser posters have already pointed out you will get a wide range of arseholes on here patronisingly telling you that they feel sorry for you but really the NHS can’t afford this sort of medical assistance. Head over to the infertility boards - a great group of people on there.

Nothing will happen if you don’t get treated for infertility. You won’t die.

People have killed themselves due to infertility. And I'm starting to understand how someone could get to that point.

I'm sorry your appointment has been cancelled. I'm sure things will get back to normal soon. Ignore those who are catastrophizing. They don't know any more than anyone else what will be cut after the summer. I am sure that hospitals who have made a big investment in their IVF programme will not want to throw away all that investment and expertise. This is a temporary blip and the country has enough wealth to get through it. Keep your mind on your goal - look after your health and nutrition and focus on your mental health so you are ready when they call you.

Yes it is jing. Look at the WHO definition of infertility.

But @Inconnu it would be totally unfair to start denying women in the twenties/thirties age bracket IVF on account of the fact that we need to spend the money on our aging population.

Quality of life, which is massively enhanced for most people by having a family, should be more important the length of life.

Why should current tax payers suffer by missing out on that so we can fund people who did have that opportunity in years gone by to live longer?

All that would happen if things like IVF was banned would be that there would be no hope for less well off women suffering from infertility AND we still would have unmanageable costs associated with an aging population. That won’t go away if we get rid of IVF.

PurpleDaisies you’re confusing my question. A lot of people who claim benefits as parents often get told that they shouldn’t have had a child unless financially secure. But the argument that it’s a biological right to reproduce then that would counter such an opinion.
I’m not saying I agree or disagree but it’s a debatable point of view. Are children a right or a life style choice.

I don’t get comparing infertility to sport related injuries etc. Nothing will happen if you don’t get treated for infertility. You won’t die. If you don’t treat those with diabetes or injuries, it’s a worse outcome.

The difference between a broken leg from a sport is you fix the leg. IVF doesn’t fix the infertility it just gives you the hopefully desired outcome but it doesn’t fix or treat the condition. A gastric band unless abused gets people to a healthy weight and maintain so it fixes a health issue.

I think that’s where the grey area is. The nhs fixes people. Having a baby but still being infertile is not a fix it’s a plaster.

So is an awful lot of other medical treatment for people with chronic conditions. Would you deny someone treatment for diabetes or Parkinson's disease because the drugs are a plaster, not a fix? Would you deny someone who had had their leg amputated a prosthetic for the same reason?

Some medical treatment (like mending a broken leg) is aimed at fixing the problem. But a huge amount of medical treatment is aimed at improving the quality of life of people living with incurable conditions. Fertility treatment is far from unique in that respect.

I think IVF should be included in the NHS. However, with strict criteria such as not being over or below a certain age range, not having children already, only once etc

YANBU. I am very sorry that you have been placed in this dilemma, and am equally sorry for everyone else whose treatments have been delayed during the crisis. The NHS has to prioritise and restrict treatments but infertility is a condition like any other. The decision to offer IVF on the NHS was taken by NICE on the basis that it has to be a treatment that is effective for women under 40 and beneficial. I hope your treatment can start again soon strawberryshortcake28 and that it is successful.

OP - who is saying these things to you?

firsttimemum30 What an odd comparison, there are many diseases that don’t come close to suffering like cancer but that doesn’t make them not diseases?!?

@Dyrne completely agree!

That's absolutely awful that people would say that.

Jim you need to do some research. Diabetes can be inherited it's not always down to lifestyle choice.

Infertility is a disease!

No it’s not.

YNBU , some people cant understand becuase they have never had to suffer the pain and heartache of the thought of never having your own child. I have fertility issues, i have endometriosis and after numerous surgeries and trying ive been told its very unlikely i will fall pregnant naturally.

Unfortunately i dont qualify for IVF on the NHS which is another heartache of its own but i wholeheartedly sympathise.

Its not like your saying you should be prioritised your just rightfully saying your upset. The unpleasant comments about the fact it shouldnt be funded by the NHS are probably from people who have never had to experience this.

Ofcourse it should be funded. Infertility is not a choice !

All the best

The difference between a broken leg from a sport is you fix the leg. IVF doesn’t fix the infertility it just gives you the hopefully desired outcome but it doesn’t fix or treat the condition. A gastric band unless abused gets people to a healthy weight and maintain so it fixes a health issue.

I think that’s where the grey area is. The nhs fixes people. Having a baby but still being infertile is not a fix it’s a plaster.

Your point is totally irrelevant other.

I can afford them. I just can’t get pregnant.

Also if children are a biological must why do so
many people say only have them if you can afford them to people who claim housing and benefits?

OP I totally agree but I'm not sure I would have posted this in AIBU.

Mumsnet is a site primarily for mums. Most people manage to have their babies the normal way without too much difficulty, and sometimes even those who took a little longer than average to get pregnant, or had one or two losses, can lack empathy. They have their children now and they just don't understand the trauma of infertility.

It really is totally fucking shit seeing everyone around you (including people who already have five kids they can't afford, people who smoke, drink to excess or do drugs, people who are obese and people who are just plain awful and will set a horrible example to their children) get pregnant quickly and easily and carry healthy babies to term when you can't, and you're sitting there every day wondering whether you will ever have a baby.

If you haven't been there, you can't possibly comprehend how awful it is. And most of these keyboard warriors on AIBU tutting about how there's no magic money tree and "what about the people with only one leg" haven't been there.

Maybe not a "disease" as such ,but mentally very wearing and distressing .For all of those saying it shouldnt be funded ,have they all got DC? If no help offered at all, potentially committing a woman to a childless life ?What if she has MH issues arising at least in part due to Infertility ,thats a long road of psycharitric care and /or Antidepressants which all cost money !

Can we stop having a go at obese people- many suffer with trauma or depression- I am not talking about slightly overweight people but actually obese people.
Fact is alcohol related incidents probably cost the nhs the most, in a&e admissions alone. But alcohol is deemed more acceptable as you don’t look fat!