To be annoyed at IVF comments

I believe people can have three goes of IVF on the NHS, depending on their age, which seems OK to me.

Not everywhere. It very much is the oft-trotted out "postcode lottery".

I don't actually think IVF should be NHS funded, however a much fairer system would be to ensure people get one turn rather than some several and some none. Caveats as to suitability would apply obviously.

@ariana1 not necessarily. It’s a postcode lottery for some people they get 0, some get 3, some get 1 etc

@Strawberryshortcake28 l completely agree, like you l am in limbo land with IVF. Here is another vote for this to be moved to the infertility board. Before people start telling you how easy it is for them to get pregnant, you’re being greedy for wanting IVF etc. I am sure soon enough it will be full on infertilty bingo with suggestions about “relaxing more”, have you thought about adoption etc

I’m off to feed my beautiful NHS funded twins

What an utterly crass statement on this thread

should the nhs treat non physically debilitating illnesses

I take it you don't believe mental health services should be funded either then?

I'm sorry, OP. I know how you're feeling about your cancelled IVF because we just had ours cancelled too. We were 7 days from embryo transfer after weeks and weeks of injecting myself and taking tablets and generally feeling grotty because of it. To add insult to injury, the nurse rang me to tell me my cycle had been cancelled due to the Coronavirus outbreak and question marks over the safety of mothers and unborn babies during this time, but she also told me that my cycle would have been cancelled anyway because the nurse had defected a couple of fibroids in my uterus and they wouldn't go ahead with embryo transfer until they'd been removed. This was a privately funded FET round but now the clinic have said that I will have to go to my GP when this whole COVID thing calms down and set the ball rolling for fibroid removal before then going back to our clinic for the FET again. I'm turning 40 later this year so giving the whole current state of the NHS and where their priorities lie now (and for the foreseeable future) we've accepted that the FET won't ever happen for us now.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a virtual hug because this whole thing sucks. And yes, some people say the most insensitive things to infertile people. Fine if that's what you think but you don't have to kick someone when they're facing one of the worst experiences of their life. Kindness and compassion don't cost a thing.

Why tell anyone in the first place? It's your business, nobody else's.

IVF won't be cancelled forever, in a few months the clinics will open again and you may be lucky, I hope you are.

I believe people can have three goes of IVF on the NHS, depending on their age, which seems OK to me. After that, if they want more, they have to go private which is expensive and of course not everyone can afford.

I do wonder what infertile people do if they can never have a child, do they permanently feel bereft, depressed or grab opportunities that present and carve out a whole new life for themselves.
It's a sad business, very disappointing but there is happiness and fulfilment without children.

The two debates here seem to be

• are children a biological right or a lifestyle choice
• should the nhs treat non physically debilitating illnesses.

An interesting debate for the second question would be reconstructive surgery. If the nhs for example cures your breast cancer, should they be required to reconstruct your breasts?

I’m off to feed my beautiful NHS funded twins

It is a very sad for couples but I can see IVF being suspended on the NHS in the not too distant future. There’s going to be a lot of money to make back once this pandemic is over and unnecessary NHS procedures will be one way to cut expenditure.

Although I feel really sad for people unable to have children I have to say it isn't something I feel should be funded by nhs. To be i'm not sure I agree with IVF at all. I don't have children before anyone says I must be lucky enough to have conceived naturally. Also I would never have posted this if you hadn't raised the subject.

This thread is now going to fill up with absolutely horrible people putting the boot in. Just like the last one.

Infertility is certainly a disorder. It's not normal not to be able to conceive.

Twinberry if your list goes untreated they lead for further physical issues for the person. If infertility goes untreated it’s more a physiological issue.

Yanbu. I think there is a bit of an attitude here that parents should get no help with anything and no one should be helped to have children because it is a lifestyle choice, but i wonder how people think they are going to be supported in their old age without a new generation of tax payers and key workers!

Jesus. They call everything diseases nowadays. WTF.

guess the NHS should stop funding antenatal and maternity care then
Nonsensical argument. If a woman gets pregnant and receives no care they are a load of physical issues she and her baby could encounter. This isn’t the same as an infertile couple.

Before cv, there were incredibly long lists for ops that changed quality of every day life like new joints etc. Other ops like tonsillectomy and grommet insertion have been further rationalised, resulting in children having increased speech and language issues, as well as poor health from recurrent infections.
There is only one pot of money, and the resources should go to improving life quality of these very real conditions.

I get that the buzz phrase for the last few years has been infertility is a condition, to try and improve how this is perceived. BUT the conditions causing infertility imo are the conditions. Treatment to improve the causal conditions should of course be given, such as endometriosis. BUT I disagree that fertility treatment should be part of this. Pain relief, relieving the impact of these conditions such as fibroid etc yes, ivf no.

Infertility is hard. I was diagnosed with infertility in late 20s so i fully get how it feels. Even still I didn't expect the NHS to provide me with fertility treatment. I saved for a decade and paid myself.

I fully get the view that fertility treatment is a choice in the same way that opting to ttc generally is a CHOICE. There are alternatives and being blunt, noone died due to not conceiving and giving birth. Yadayada about mh implications etc you understand what I'm saying!

So I think yabu.

I can imagine everything you describe because we suffered from infertility for over 10 years. I still don't think IVF should be covered on the NHS though.

You say people may have spent thousands and this could be their last chance, but if you've spent thousands on private treatment you're not eligible for NHS IVF anyway.

Quite a while ago my local CCG changed from funding 3 full cycles to not covering any at all, and I agree with that.

@Fantasiaa You also won’t die if you don’t have fillings, hip replacements, cataracts repaired and various other things the NHS funds...

@sunfloweryy I agree with you that it is unfair, but what's the solution? You can't just deny people any medical treatment after the age of 75.

Also, the current generation of older people wouldn't have benefited from IVF as it didn't exist then. They'd have just had to accept infertility.

You'd think that people who have had their own children naturally would have the imagination to know how they would feel if they hadn't been able to have them, but it appears many don't.

The NHS is not a bottomless pit. I am sympathetic to your position but don't think it should come from public funds.

I also disagree with most plastic surgery on the NHS. We can't afford it.

If you can't afford private treatment how can you afford a child? They are very expensive.

I don't think I'm an arsehole for prioritising life saving treatment above IVF. Only an arsehole would think that.

@Nomorepies I guess the NHS should stop funding antenatal and maternity care then...

YANBU. Many people who don't have personal experience of infertility lack empathy, I would try to just tune them out

IVF doesn’t fix the infertility it just gives you the hopefully desired outcome but it doesn’t fix or treat the condition.

I think that’s where the grey area is. The nhs fixes people. Having a baby but still being infertile is not a fix it’s a plaster.

I don’t care if a baby is a “plaster” that doesn’t fix my infertility. Do you honestly think that’s what infertile couples are bothered about?

There are also plenty of conditions that the NHS can’t fix, only manage.