To be annoyed at IVF comments

IVF doesn’t fix the infertility it just gives you the hopefully desired outcome but it doesn’t fix or treat the condition.

I think that’s where the grey area is. The nhs fixes people. Having a baby but still being infertile is not a fix it’s a plaster.

Huh? Being infertile or fertile only matters if you want to have a baby! If the treatment can make that happen for you then it is as good as fixing it. It’s not like it causes ongoing health issues (and if you have any arising from the condition that made you infertile, eg endometriosis, there is no issue with getting NHS treatment for that).

For some people having one baby is all the fix they need (this is my own experience).

However even if you argue that being infertile means you are always limited in the size of family you can have, so in that sense it is an ongoing condition that can’t be “fixed”, that doesn’t come into the “should it be available on the NHS?” debate because the NHS already has a policy of one IVF pregnancy per couple and it’s not available if one of the couple already has a child.

@firsttimemum30 infertility does not cause what many diseases causes, inability to live a normal life, physical pain etc. stop now you’re actually embarrassing yourself.

I absolutely think it should be funded on the NHS and everywhere should get the same entitlement like in Scotland, not a postcode lottery depending on trust.

As someone who did not struggle to conceive because of nothing other than good fortune and who is sitting with my very much loved toddler on my lap, who has brought immeasurable joy to my life, it would be pretty awful of me to say otherwise tbh.

Infertility is NOT a disease. For that alone you are being unreasonable..

@peperethecat thank you. Yes we possibly could get the money together but we'll have to wait for the time being anyway as we may need our savings to fund mortgage, bills etc depending on what happens with our jobs this year. It's such a difficult time for everyone and we're all stuck in limbo at the moment.

YANBU op. I am very sorry

You’d be better on the infertility board though. These threads never go well on AIBU

Sorry @JingsMahBucket I think what you meant to say is ‘oh it is a disease I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m talking about and instead spout my mouth off about stuff I have no idea about’

Or you could always lobby the WHO to ‘stop calling everything a disease now because jingsmabucket doesn’t think certain things should be diseases’

peperethecat I’m not against ivf on the nhs, I’m clarifying the questions. I wish we could have an open debate, I appreciate it’s an emotive subject, I do genuinely think no one is trying to be rude.

Mental health in terms of nhs treatment is an interesting one, covering psychosis, ptsd, addiction, depression. It’s usually a case of help yourself unless your physical safety or the physical safety of others is risked.

If women need a reminder on how much discrimination they face in 2020 look no further then the comments around IVF.

1. Infertility is NOT a lifestyle choice

1. IVF cycles on the NHS are ALREADY limited.
2. Women contribute to half NHS revenues so have a right to DEMAND IVF as key service which means there should be NO comparisons with other services like viagra

@Lynda07 it’s not 3 goes. NICE guidelines say that it should be but most CCG’s don’t. There are also age deadlines after which nothing is offered and also long waiting lists. There are no rules about age deadlines either. It depends on your CCG’s

@firsttimemum30

www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/definitions/en/

We had infertility and needed IVF so you do have my sympathies. I don’t have an issue with NHS funded IVF. My only disagreement around it is it’s unfort a bit of a post card lottery as to whether you get nhs treatment or not. Also I never thought it fair when in new relationships if one person already had a child but was trying to conceive with a new partner who had diagnosed infertility - that the couple were discounted because one of them already had a child.
When we had IVF just over 10 years ago, a private cycle cost around £3,500 at some clinics. Although £3,500 is an enormous amount of money to some people - actually funding a new born and bringing up a child is much much more. So if I am honest I did always feel confused when people said they could not afford private IVF at £3,500 but could afford to raise a child.

It’s so infuriating the amount of women that think it’s fine for the NHS to pay for them to pop out their third but not to help the women who just want to have one because ‘it’s not a right’. But it’s a right for you to be cared for to have yours!

I think that until you have fertility issues yourself you can never ever know what the impact is like. My guess is that many of the people who say it shouldn’t be available on the NHS would have a very different view if they had had experienced it themselves. It’s without a doubt the hardest thing I’ve been through and i think people massively underestimate its impact and I speak as someone who also just had their second round cancelled having had a miscarriage (from ivf) three months ago.

The NHS is struggling. If things need to be prioritised, this shouldn’t be in the shortlist. Save and improve existing lives rather than bring new lives in the world. Someone said ‘procreation is one of life’s fundamentals’ and people need to stop thinking that way.

If that's your attitude there should be a one child policy or an encouragement for fertile people to limit family size rather than not funding IVF.

@namechangegamechange2 what should it be called then? There is nothing wrong with me apparently, my partner and l pass all tests with flying colours but yet we can’t conceive

I do feel for you, especially having started the process and then having coronavirus intervene. YANBU to be upset. However. Having a child is not a right, nor is it a medical necessity. The NHS needs to prioritise medical necessity over things that people just want to do. So in that respect, I’m afraid YABU.

OP, I completely agree with you, but I would, having had IVF to have my DD and currently pregnant with number 2 via IVF. One privately funded, one via NHS.

I just wanted to clear up some misconceptions about IVF funding in the UK that always seem to appear on these threads:

• Funding is a complete postcode lottery. In Scotland you get three cycles. In England only 12% of all NHS trusts offer 3 cycles, most offer 1 cycle (my area only offered 1). Some offer 0. It is up to the local trust and by no means a given that you will get funding.
• You cannot get funding if you have a BMI over 30, or smoke.
• In some areas (mine for example) you cannot get funding if you are over 35 years old.
• The decision for a pregnancy to be consultant lead again varies from trust to trust. My first pregnancy was with a trust that made no special arrangments for IVF pregnancies. The one I'm in now (I've moved since DD's birth) gives 2x extra scans and I am consultant lead due to previous c section. Again it varies.

I am very aware of the cost of IVF, having paid for a round and greatful that I had a round on the NHS. The idea that all funding should be private sits uneasily with me, as it means that only infertile people who could afford to spend thousands can have the opportunity to try for a baby via IVF. Many people concieve naturally without thousands in the bank. I'm really uncomfortable with this.

Also, my 2p on the ifertility isn't a disorder question; your body (or in about 50% cases your partner's body) isn't functioning the way it should be, and this is exactly what the NHS should be there to treat!

I take it you’ve got kids @Knowhowufeel2?

@Moomin12345
@DellAmorenonsisa

Firstly, infertility is classed as a disease. As such it should be treated as a disease. If you're annoyed at the thought of NHS funding being spent on fertility treatment, watch the video link. It'll boil your blood!

So what about people who have had cancer, should they not be offered fertility treatment?
What about someone whose only child is killed young?
What about someone who is suicidal because they are unable to have children and don't have the money to pay for fertility treatment?

Maybe have a look at how much treatment for mental health illnesses cost the NHS, and compare it to the cost of IVF. You'd be surprised.

Some people are horrible thoughtless pricks. It's usually a particular type of person who thinks that and it's really not the kind of person you need to give a fuck about their thoughts, so try not to xx

I don't believe anyone has the right to have a child so for that I think YABU as I don't believe it should be funded by the NHS, but that doesn't mean you can't be upset about it, so YANBU for feeling upset.

@Dyrne how is it an odd comparison it is an example of an actual disease. Infertility does not cause what many diseases causes, inability to live a normal life, physical pain etc.

for you, Mullikins.

Any chance you can go privately to have the fibroids removed? I know it means finding more money from somewhere but then at least you might be able to move forward with the FET.

thinking of you op

My egg collection prep was stopped.

I'm in premature ovarian failure so by the time I'm allowed back out (shielding) and clinics are open will likely be too late. I was going to be paying for myself anyway but I totally understand how your feeling. Are you on any support groups for it? The fertility network are doing sessions to help private message me on here and I can fell you more if you want. They have helped me. Donation only if can afford it to them