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Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!

209 replies

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:19

Name changed for this as It's extremely outing! because It's bizarre, mainly Pom bears, Mexican House Thief, Penis Beaker etc.

So I currently live with my ex partner. This is recent-I moved back in with him to save money in order to buy a house (obviously I can't do that for now Sad ).

We get on okay, but he was a terrible partner when I was with him.
Heavy drink problem (which he managed to keep secret for far too long!), lies, unable to manage finances, a whole barrage of dishonesty about his circumstances. It was horrible, so many tears and sleepless nights on my part as I'd really thought he was for me before then, but it was years ago and I have grown up a lot now.

This definitely bears some relevance to how I treat him now though. I don't have much respect for him admittedly as it took me a long time to rebuild my life when we broke up some years ago. I'm not horrible to him or anything but I am not overly nice. Had I done this to anyone else I'd have been mortified, ad definitely confessed and paid for damages.

We both own the house together.

Some time ago I was baking a cake. I didn't realise the flour had gone off, so the cake was inedible. I decided to chuck it out for the birds.

Amongst other twatty things my ex had done, he built a HUGE outhouse/outbuilding in the garden. I'd previously had the garden lovely albeit small and he built this thing which takes up about 90% of the garden. It's massive. I decided to chuck the cake on top of it.

But it broke the (corrugated plastic) roof of the structure. It made a hole in it.

This was a month or so ago and he has only just noticed. He came into my room this morning holding a hammer and said 'Whose is this hammer?!' I said I don't know, not mine? And he said he thought someone had thrown it into the garden and this is what has broken the roof. He wants to report it to the police as well.

He is not overly upset about it, and has fixed the hole now.

I kind of want to confess because I don't want him wasting police time.

I kind of don't though.

Would you? Honestly?

YANBU -Don't confess, no point and he's a knobhead anyway
YABU-Confess, It's the correct thing to do.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 04/04/2020 20:07

Well done for retrieving the evidence. This is from Terry Pratchett's Feet of Clay Grin

Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!
LagunaBubbles · 04/04/2020 20:04

I'm a baker, I just had to open your thread after reading the title!!

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 20:02

abit I did make another using flour that was edible this time

OP posts:
abitlostandalwayshungry · 04/04/2020 19:59

this is hilarious.

don't confess, bake another cake and enjoy it!

wildflowersandweeds · 04/04/2020 19:58

Don't you dare confess! (I'm just here for the baking puns.... I'm so bready for a lighthearted thread!)

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:56

Too small to be mouse droppings, more likely weevils.

twisty when I realised what I'd done, I went outside, got it from the roof and threw it in the bin!

GCH thank you! Sorry Mitz I get you now lol . It wasn't really hard or anything! It was moist and heavy lol

OP posts:
CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:53

70 I know. Ugh :(

OP posts:
CurryGoat · 04/04/2020 19:53

@MitziK 😂

GCHWho · 04/04/2020 19:52

Mitzi was saying if the cake has gone ( as he did not mention it ) the mice brought and used the hammer to break it up so they could eat it ! Grin

TwistyHair · 04/04/2020 19:52

Where is the cake now?? Didn’t he see the cake on the floor?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 04/04/2020 19:51

white flour but had flecks of brown in it

Depending on size they could be Flour Weevils or Mouse Droppings ........... Envy not envy .

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:49

Twiggy yes! There's no other room in the garden now Sad tiny bit of pathway down the side, so it was there or nowhere.

Dame I don't know what that is, maybe?!

I scuttled outside and retrieved it (by standing on a wheely bin) once I realised what I'd done. I wasn't for leaving evidence lying about.

Gara I am really glad this is making people laugh. I was worried it would seem made up, I know I can't prove it, but I promise It's 100% truth! lol

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 04/04/2020 19:47

Suggest he builds a patio instead...
We will give you an alibi op...
Wink

GaraMedouar · 04/04/2020 19:46

😂 - I’ve had a shit day - this has really made me laugh - brilliant! Don’t confess!

DameFanny · 04/04/2020 19:46

Are you in fact a Discworld dwarf baker OP?

What happened to the cake of Doom anyway?

Twiggy71 · 04/04/2020 19:44

I take it you threw the cake on the roof for the birds to eat?
I hope that was the idea behind it Grin[
Don't let on you threw it up there, here have some cake Cake

SlothTamer · 04/04/2020 19:42

Don't confess!!!!!

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:37

awkward If this makes people laugh then that's fab-It's a horrible situation we're in so I am glad to hear it.

babout that is true! I'd ONLY just moved in here before lockdown, too.

OP posts:
AwkwardAsAllGetout · 04/04/2020 19:34

Sorry op but this made me howl. Just what I needed today Grin don’t ever admit what you’ve done Cake

Baboutheocelot · 04/04/2020 19:34

God no don’t confess, you don’t know how long you’re going to be stuck with him!

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:32

Mitz I may be just being slow on the uptake but I don't understand that post!
Rainbow Grin Grin Grin I'm always complimented on my baking believe it or not!

OP posts:
TheMandalorian · 04/04/2020 19:32

What a tool.
Grin

Rainbowunicat · 04/04/2020 19:30

No, but discourage him from reporting it! And don't bake anymore Grin

MitziK · 04/04/2020 19:29

You mean he hasn't found the giant slab of concrete inside yet?

The hammer must have been what the mice used to eat it, then.

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:29

infinite he LOVES my cakes!

Escape yes. Sad it was white flour but had flecks of brown in it. I didn't think much of it until I tasted some bread rolls I'd made at the same time as the cake, and they were minging!

OP posts: