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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you confess your cake had made the hole? Please be honest!

209 replies

CakeHoleinRoof · 04/04/2020 19:19

Name changed for this as It's extremely outing! because It's bizarre, mainly Pom bears, Mexican House Thief, Penis Beaker etc.

So I currently live with my ex partner. This is recent-I moved back in with him to save money in order to buy a house (obviously I can't do that for now Sad ).

We get on okay, but he was a terrible partner when I was with him.
Heavy drink problem (which he managed to keep secret for far too long!), lies, unable to manage finances, a whole barrage of dishonesty about his circumstances. It was horrible, so many tears and sleepless nights on my part as I'd really thought he was for me before then, but it was years ago and I have grown up a lot now.

This definitely bears some relevance to how I treat him now though. I don't have much respect for him admittedly as it took me a long time to rebuild my life when we broke up some years ago. I'm not horrible to him or anything but I am not overly nice. Had I done this to anyone else I'd have been mortified, ad definitely confessed and paid for damages.

We both own the house together.

Some time ago I was baking a cake. I didn't realise the flour had gone off, so the cake was inedible. I decided to chuck it out for the birds.

Amongst other twatty things my ex had done, he built a HUGE outhouse/outbuilding in the garden. I'd previously had the garden lovely albeit small and he built this thing which takes up about 90% of the garden. It's massive. I decided to chuck the cake on top of it.

But it broke the (corrugated plastic) roof of the structure. It made a hole in it.

This was a month or so ago and he has only just noticed. He came into my room this morning holding a hammer and said 'Whose is this hammer?!' I said I don't know, not mine? And he said he thought someone had thrown it into the garden and this is what has broken the roof. He wants to report it to the police as well.

He is not overly upset about it, and has fixed the hole now.

I kind of want to confess because I don't want him wasting police time.

I kind of don't though.

Would you? Honestly?

YANBU -Don't confess, no point and he's a knobhead anyway
YABU-Confess, It's the correct thing to do.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 06/04/2020 23:54

You're a very generous person - shame about the baking Grin

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 06/04/2020 19:52

Dame since I moved out some years ago, I've continued to pay my half the mortgage and not thought much of it. It was his house for a long time before I came along, we didn't buy it together, I feel it would seem unfair of me to make him buy me out because I never paid a deposit or anything.

Having said that, had he not put me on the mortgage he would have probably lost the house altogether when he lost his job, plus I got him a much better mortgage deal, so he hasn't done badly out of me being on the mortgage.

OP posts:
DameFanny · 06/04/2020 10:17

I have to ask though - what's the end plan? Will he ever buy you out? Will he ever remortgage in his own? Or are you tied to it till one of dies..?

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 22:35

sharona I keep annoying myself by looking at houses I know I can't think about yet!

OP posts:
SharonasCorona · 05/04/2020 22:31

Glad he's not wasting police time! Hope you can part ways with him as soon as possible!

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 21:43

Well, in case anyone wants to know, he has decided not to report it to the police so that's one good thing! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 13:18

Yes four I'm on the deeds for the house.

OP posts:
FourDecades · 05/04/2020 12:51

So you're on the mortgage..... but do you actually own it? Were you put on the deeds?

BigChocFrenzy · 05/04/2020 11:28

I'd let sleeping dogs lie

  • and he sounds a boozy old dog
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 11:06

awwspider he noticed a hammer underneath the hole and didn't recognise it, so figured that had caused the damage.
It's silly because only us two live here, nobody else enters the outbuiding but him. He must have put it there himself!

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/04/2020 11:01

Not to be rude, but I don’t get it.
How have we gone from cake fails to hammers. Confused

LargeGinOnTap · 05/04/2020 10:53

Don't confess

It was a cat or something.

He's only just noticed and it may well already been unstructurely sound

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 10:39

qgardens don't! I think weevils are kind of cute! The flour being brown flecked was so weird .

OP posts:
IdblowJonSnow · 05/04/2020 10:34

This is funny. Don't tell him!
The police will do nothing about this by the way.

Qgardens · 05/04/2020 10:30

Never mind the cake or him. What about all those poor weavils you killed? You murderer, you. Grin

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 10:28

triangle you're welcome Grin I'm glad this stupid situation has made some people laugh despite difficult times :)

OP posts:
TriangleBingoBongo · 05/04/2020 10:17

I haven’t read the thread but I just wanted to thank you for the smile your OP brought!

Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 10:13

jaggery lobbed a mite infested and leaden vanilla sponge onto it Grin Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 09:56

Agony yes, I saw the cake land and make the hole. A tortoiseshell and white cat climbed through it lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 09:52

suzie seriously I hate the bloody thing. Loved my garden but as I didn't live here I I didn't have much to say. i doubt he applied for planning to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeHoleinRoof · 05/04/2020 09:50

four he doesn't want to leave the house, and he owned it long before I met him. We put me on the mortgage just because he lost his job(through drinking :( ) and he'd have lost the house ifwe didn't.
user he said it was just underneath the hole! Obviously it isn't correct that it made the hole lol

OP posts:
FourDecades · 05/04/2020 06:37

I think what is more concerning is the fact you are financially linked to him still.

Why haven't you sold the house so you can get a deposit?

user1480880826 · 05/04/2020 06:28

Where did he find the hammer? And what made him think it was the hammer that made the hole?

Also, what was he doing coming into your bedroom in the morning? That seems fairly inappropriate. Does he have issues with personal space?

FortunesFave · 05/04/2020 06:17

This is the right moment to share this song.

StoppinBy · 05/04/2020 05:52

Lies by omission are still lies.... blah blah blah.

Hahah, no way would I would tell him if he didn't directly ask haha.

My husband (then BF) said to me one Monday 'I must have left the stove on when I left for my parents on Friday, when got home the whole bench was so hot it's lucky it hadn't caught fire'. Little did he know that I had gone out on the weekend and slept at his place (he knew this part) but had a few drinks before going out and decided I needed to light an incense stick with the stove as we had no matches..... and apparently left the stove turned on.

Hahah, I only told him years later when he said 'remember that time I left the stove on'.

Must of been some cake to have put a hole in the roof or some really brittle roof material lol