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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I the only woman in the UK whose..

404 replies

LovelyIssues · 05/03/2020 23:24

Husband has NEVER seen them completely without makeup. Been together 11 years..

Main reason why is I have roscea, acne scars, awful redness and uneven skin.. I hate it and try and hide it as much as possible so I can honestly say he's never without even a bit of foundation on Blush

OP posts:
JuanSheetIsPlenty · 05/03/2020 23:52

Ahh I think that’s quite sad Op. your partner should be someone you can show your whole self to. Warts and all. All your flaws and imperfections- not just the physical ones- personality- emotional etc.

I think you should trust him to open up to him. You’ll feel a massive sense of relief.

twelveminutespast · 05/03/2020 23:50

OP you do really need to give your skin a break from make up / tinted moisturiser. I couldn't imagine feeling the pressure to look a certain way all the time. I do enjoy wearing make up on special occasions but I don't have the time to do it, so I choose to go make up free everywhere I go.

FourCappuccinos · 05/03/2020 23:47

I always wear makeup, still have great skin for 57

I think the difference here is that OP's skin is probably more sensitive than yours is and thus makeup negatively affects her more than it does in your case.

madcatladyforever · 05/03/2020 23:45

I always wear makeup, still have great skin for 57 but of course ex partners have seen me without it, coming out of the shower and so on. It's difficult to have it on 24/7.

FourCappuccinos · 05/03/2020 23:43

stopgap - no, what is that? Feel like I've tried so much over the years with no avail. It's draining

it's a cream containing azelaic acid.

AgentPrentiss · 05/03/2020 23:42

That can not be good for your skin..

Original poster
LovelyIssues · 05/03/2020 23:40

stopgap - no, what is that? Feel like I've tried so much over the years with no avail. It's draining

OP posts:
saraclara · 05/03/2020 23:38

My husband never saw me with makeup ON! in 38 years of marriage and before.

Grin
AnneLovesGilbert · 05/03/2020 23:37

He’s not perfect either OP, no one is.

stopgap · 05/03/2020 23:37

I hear you. I’ve had troubled skin on and off over the years, and my husband only saw me without makeup once we were married (before that, always dabbed concealer on rogue spots).

I figured that you can still see pimples beneath make-up—they’re just a different color—so I decided then not to bother. Also, have you ever tried Azelex for rosacea? It’s amazing stuff.

Original poster
LovelyIssues · 05/03/2020 23:36

Whatsnewpussyhat - I think he would be shocked. He would definitely say something like 'whats happened to your face!' it's so red it almost looks burnt

OP posts:
Frenchw1fe · 05/03/2020 23:36

Are you Mrs Maisel?

StillDisappointed · 05/03/2020 23:35

Your husband can't tell you you look beautiful without makeup unless you let him see you without it OP.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 05/03/2020 23:34

You realise he probably wouldn't even notice or care if you had no make up on right?
What do you think would happen?

SweetMarmalade · 05/03/2020 23:34

Tinted moisturiser isn’t like a mask though, I’m sure your dh wouldn’t notice if you went to bed without the tinted moisturiser, it’s not like a full face of make up.

TheSevenDials · 05/03/2020 23:34

I must admit I find that odd, but I have read about other women doing this.

yatapina · 05/03/2020 23:34

It's a shame you feel that way - could you try letting your skin breathe even just at home for a few hours each day?

It might build your confidence and might benefit your skin too. I know it's hard but this isn't healthy.

DeepThinkingGirl · 05/03/2020 23:33

Awwww I’m sure he loves you the way you are

You need to tackle your insecurity for your own sake I think. Need to learn to self love

My DH has seen me with a lot worse than acne on the skin I tell u.

Original poster
LovelyIssues · 05/03/2020 23:33

SinglePringle - I'd love Someone to truly see me makeup free and not be scared.

OP posts:
FourCappuccinos · 05/03/2020 23:33

Main reason why is I have roscea, acne scars, awful redness and uneven skin..

I have this as well. Before I met my DP though, I made it a point to have my first dates be at some sort of fun activity like rock climbing where I don't wear any make up at all. If they don't feel okay with my bad skin then they're probably not for me. Saves the later discomfort of having to maintain an image! Sorry this isn't helpful to you but I'm sure you're not alone.

StillDisappointed · 05/03/2020 23:33

I'd be concerned about sleeping in even tinted moisturiser.
Your skin isn't getting a break and that'll make any flare ups worse.

Why won't you show your husband your bare skin? I think that's really sad, surely he loves you for you.

My DP says I look beautiful with and without makeup but definitely prefers me without. It took me ages to believe him after a past abusive relationship, but he means it.

Sparklesocks · 05/03/2020 23:32

Ah it sounds quite pressured for you OP Sad I don’t think I’d ever be able to fully relax around my DP if I was worried about putting make up on to sleep in and sneaking about after a shower. He’s your spouse and loves you, it’s a shame you feel so insecure around him.

SinglePringle · 05/03/2020 23:32

Every partner I’ve ever had has seen me without make up. I take it off every day / night.

As an aside, the wearing of make up will not be contributing to any skin issues. The lack of daily removal and enabling your skin to rejuvenate over night (if this is what you’re doing) may well be.

Original poster
LovelyIssues · 05/03/2020 23:30

DeepThinkingGirl - you're probably right Sad I just can't

OP posts:
yatapina · 05/03/2020 23:30

Not sure how this relates to AIBU but I do think this would be an unusual situation.

I don't really wear make up ever often, not because I have issues with it but I just CBA - when I do though I take it off at night so DH would see me in the morning without it. Surely yours is the same?

If you're sleeping with it on then it won't be doing your skin any favours.

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