Fed up with toddler obsessed with food

VenusTiger

I agree that milk should not displace solid foods.
As the OP said she gives her son semi-skimmed I thought it worth mentioning that fullfat is correct for children and might satisfy him as it gives you a full up feeling which her child doesn't seem to experience at all.

OP can you ask your GP for their opinion? I doubt a HV would be informed enough as they have a broad remit.

I would be exhausted and worn down if I had a child constantly wanting food. I don't think your HV is right to say this is normal behaviour. It is making both you and you DC unhappy and that matters.
A Poo once a day or every two days is not very often, I would want medical advice It sounds like a kind of inbalance in the body I don't think it is behaviourial

@goldfinchfan agree about the fat in milk for kids, but, you don't want to fill him up on milk when his diet should consist predominantly of solid foods at this age and maybe a glass of milk before bed. Some people give their toddler so much milk during the day and wonder why they won't eat their dinner. Milk is filling and shouldn't affect mealtimes.

This sounds exhausting. I think the PP who mentioned always giving the same snack is on to something. I would try temporarily removing anything that seems a particular trigger for begging/tantrums (like the crackers). I would also try piles of veg as it is filling and you can eat a lot without it causing health problems. Maybe all snacks would be carrot or celery sticks? I think it would take a bit of trial and error but that’s what I’d be trying.

Well whatever is going on @Passthedyson it isn't down to you, you're doing an amazing job especially saying no and not giving in to him. Can I ask a couple of (maybe stupid) questions? How much is he drinking? (it's common to confuse thirst with hunger) and how many times a day/week does he poo? Are the poos big, just wondering how much waste his body is producing vs. how much he 'requires'.

That does sound extreme op and very tiring to manage. My dds can be obsessive to an extent about snacks and I find it very wearing to constantly manage it. I think you’re offering very healthy meals and they seem like they would be filling for him.

I would probably chat to your GP.

Also have you tried giving him a snack basket? Might sound crazy but I’ve given mine a little basket in the fridge which I keep topped up with healthy snacks (fruit, yoghurt, cheese etc and could possibly do one for dry foods too). They can reach it and can have a snack when the want, but they don’t tend to go crazy and empty it out or anything! Gives them a bit more control over it as perhaps it is more about pushing boundaries? I think it has helped a bit with mine, but they don’t seem to be as intense as your Ds. Good luck anyway.

Only comment I can think of is that growing children need whole fat milk.
They need the fat and fat does not make you fat. Our bodies need a certain amount of fat.Not junk food but healthy fats, like milk yoghurt, cheese.
Perhaps he has too much fruit and not enough fat because fruit is basically turned to sugar in the body and then you get hungry again very quickly.

If you look up more recent diet advice you will see this that we need some fat and not so much fruit.

You can easily check about the milk. whole fat for children, semi-skimmed is not going to fill him up.

How much water does he drink? Is he thirsty? Lots of liquid between meals may help.

Is it worth getting him to help with making up his lunch box/ meals, packing it all in a little rucksack. Suggest you also do the same. Visual is there, knowing what has been made/ packed cannot ask for anything else.... wondering if you have open plan living too so lots of time spent in kitchen seeing food and near lots of temptations may get little minds thinking of food....

Must be so difficult, hope you get the help you need

I agree with the above poster that said you’d know if he had Prader-Willi syndrome. It would definitely have been picked up by now due to the low muscle tone and developmental issues it also brings. The need to eat comes later. However, this does sound extreme given what he’s eating on a day to day basis, so I don’t think it could hard to take to the doctors to rule everything out.

If the docs come back that everything is okay, then as you can see a few people already on this thread have already said their children are also the same so it clearly can be stage they go through. Doesn’t make it any easier for you though, it does sound tough. Maybe the docs can point you in the write direction for additional support or go back to the HV and push for more help to deal the behavioural side of it

Does he drink much water?
Not that it would make a huge difference but why not whole milk?

That seems an enormous amount of food at that age. Well done you for keeping it so healthy, it’s definitely extra work and stress.

I think you’re right to take him to the GP, and insist on not being fobbed off. Write down the daily/weekly food diary to take with you. It tells the story better than you can, to a science-minded person.

I suspect you’ll need to be firm and persistent, we mums often get patronised over these things. It’s assumed we're fussing over nothing, rather than being intelligent women who know their own kid and have been around others long enough to tell something isn’t right.

For comparison, my kid at that age would have eaten maximum 1/3 of that quantity (of the same things). She was on the ‘birdlike’ side of normal. There’s a wide range of ‘normal’ but the outliers need to be given attention. Good luck with it.

I would go to your GP and discuss this. It could be something he will grow out of or it could be an over eating disorder.

My daughter is like this, she is 8.5 now and it is a nightmare. Honestly she would eat from the moment she wakes until bed if you let her.

She has always been like this since toddler hood.

She has never been overweight however is VERY tall for her age. It has got to the point that I think she is getting slightly 'big' for her frame. Still a healthy weight but I am actively giving lower calorie foods now and limiting sugar massively since Christmas.

For her, I really do think it is often boredom, or thirst. I try to get her to have a drink before she is allowed more food. She mindlessly snacks, now she is older she just helps herself now too so it is much harder to keep an eye on.

I'm telling you this incase others come on to give you good advice then take it and get control of it now, because it makes me miserable. I'm not worried for her health but the tantrums and brattyness over food grinds me down every day.

To stop going anywhere because of this it is an over reaction - they're difficult taking out anywhere at this age regardless and at least yours is only asking for food and not rejecting it !

I ask because maybe there is a real hunger issue.

My 2.5yr old will always scream for a biscuit or juice or ice cream....pretty normal I’d say. But if he genuinely wolfs down copious amounts of good protein and veg and is still hungry/ combined with not being active I’d be a little worried. How’s his development been overall?

Pick one food, like a banana, and only ever offer him that outside of meals and he has to eat it at the table or somewhere else where he is sitting down.

Don't make him finish the snack and don't talk about it. If he says he is hungry five minutes later, give him another banana.

Can you give a run down of a typical days food for him op?

Does he ate anything and everything or is he screaming for junk?

My 2.5 year is a bit like this too. It can be really embarrassing as as soon as another mum opens a snack for her kid at groups then she's over there begging and she's always first at the snack table and eats everything she can get hold off including the other kids leftovers! The first thing she asks for at someones house is a snack and she will take food off our plates if we let her. I'm sick of people jokingly asking if I feed her at home.

I'm treating it as a behavioural thing at the moment and trying to set clear boundaries with her behaviour around food and distract as much as possible although that rarely works.

You would know if he had Prada-Willi syndrome. It isn’t just wanting food and actually that part of the syndrome doesn’t kick in until the child is a toddler - it’s often detected due to poor muscle tone and feeding difficulties in babies so I wouldn’t really concern myself with that.

I would just say to him he can eat what he wants. When he wants as long as it is x,y or z. We do this with our 6 year old whose always starving. So fruit, vege, nuts, he can eat as and when he wants.

What we found was he was saying he was starving because a lot of the time he was hoping for something like a biscuit or he was thirsty and getting confused.