Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up with toddler obsessed with food

58 replies

Passthedyson · 02/03/2020 20:29

Not his fault I know that but I can’t cope anymore now.

3yr old been obsessed with food since about 15 months.

Eats well three wholesome meals and snacks and fruit.

Wherever we are he wants food and begs all day long. If we are at a party he reviews the food and won’t play. Soft play we can’t go anymore as he grabs strangers left overs.

When out at meals will have a tantrum to eat other people’s plates while they are mid meal. Can’t go to most playgroups anymore as they have food out and he just asks for more more more more.

We don’t give sugary snacks as it seems to make things worse. He is on 95th for weight looks slightly chubbier than average but not obese.

Tried giving more protein at snack time (already eats balanced meals not fussy enjoys veg etc) made no difference and possibly worse as just wanted more cheese all the time.

HV said carry on as we are and let him scream once it’s gone but I’m drained now as food is everywhere we go.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Original poster
Passthedyson · 25/04/2024 21:29

@Girlscandoanything I remember asking the health visitor about it when mine was really young and she said that it will improve the more structure that there is and it was true. So when he went to nursery age 2 it improved and then again at school. Although it was still an Issue at pick up wkends etc. I remember I had to drag him screaming from the ice cream van one time. He still does sometimes cry a bit for more food etc now but gives up more easily. Junk food really sets this off so we try reduce that for special occasions. Does yours go to nursery?

I remember having lots of healthy food available and then just having set times for snack - I just had a Tupperware with the snack allowance in and explained it’s not snack time or this is all we have. I would avoid any processed packet snacks at home but not be too restrictive. I did stuff like boiled egg, hummus and veggies, cheese, oat cakes, peanut butter and apple. Home cooked meals. I put a smaller portion on as he would always ask for more.

I’m not a professional but I don’t think it means your child will automatically develop an eating disorder. Mine was SO food obsessed I was so embarrassed everywhere we went and felt stressed with it. I also think you have to let it go slightly and not be too restrictive with them and explain as much as possible about eating healthily and “that’s enough now let’s go and play” I hope it gets easier for you soon.

OP posts:
Girlscandoanything · 25/04/2024 18:56

Thank you so much for replying @Passthedyson ive been reduced to tears just now for the second time in 3 days by this, I’ve left the house as I don’t want to shout at her. How did you deal with it in the moment ? I’m just finding it so hard , it’s even affecting our relationship with family and friends and I see my baby learning from her too I feel like it’s ruining my life

Original poster
Passthedyson · 12/04/2024 21:08

Hi! Sorry that you are going through this I remember how awful it was. Basically we avoided situations as much as possible with free flow food and then when at parties etc just let him let loose then tried to mitigate the next day. Now he is 6 and has improved a lot. He asks for more food than an average child and when it’s available open at parties he does eat quite alot however it’s gotten a lot better with age and isn’t at the level before where it was embarrassing - sometimes even does say that he is full!

OP posts:
Girlscandoanything · 09/04/2024 07:35

Hi @Passthedyson just wondered if you had any progress or improvements? We are going through the exact thing with our 3yo and it seems such a rare problem that we feel totally lost and alone. We are so worried she will develop an eating disorder. She seems to think about food constantly and it really upsets me I don’t know what we’ve done wrong or how to help her through this b

RandomMess · 04/03/2020 11:10

Celery is another thing to offer!

Waveysnail · 04/03/2020 10:28

Mine are sensory seekers btw so wanted to chewing sensation. Offered carrot sticks everytime they asked and only carrot sticks (or cucumber) outside of meals

Waveysnail · 04/03/2020 10:27

Carrot and cucumber sticks - sickened mine eventually

Curiosity101 · 04/03/2020 10:19

I've no idea if it would carry over into them being a toddler but you can easily overfeed a baby if you always up their bottles when they drain them. Not all formula fed babies self regulate.

Fivefootoffun · 04/03/2020 10:06

@Curiosity101 - just wondering about your question about upping their bottles once they are draining them? Can this affect satiety?

vhs95 · 04/03/2020 05:30

@SpaceDinosaur
I agree with all of this. Explain to him before you go to a party what the food boundaries are, carry a healthy snack for him and remind him of the consequences if he begs for food. Praise him when he controls himself and take him home if he doesn't. Good luck.

redwitch5 · 04/03/2020 03:49

Defiantly see your GP, take along a record of his eating, picture on your phone if you have one. Of his portion I mean This could be serious or it could be a phase. A good GP will help either way. Agree that it could be a sensory thing, or even boredom. Carrots, broccoli, apples are all good, he has to take his time, not all gone in one gulp. Be patient with him, and be patient with yourself, it will come right in the end. Flowers

Sixinthebed · 03/03/2020 23:46

Apologies Winni, think I repeated a lot of what you said, didn't see your post!,

Sixinthebed · 03/03/2020 23:43

OP, have a look into sensory processing issues. The strong craving for foods, such as salt and cake, can be an indicator as they provide the sensory input needed. Food could be a comfort for him, fulfilling a need other than just hunger. That aside, I would agree with suggestions to switch to full fat products, up the carbs and increase portion sizes. Give him crunchy, crisp food that requires chewing - an apple instead of a banana, vegetable crisps, crackers. Let him use a sports type bottle for his drinks - these will engage his senses more and make eating more satisfying.

Winnipegdreamer · 03/03/2020 23:20

Could it be that he’s enjoying the sensory experience of chewing rather than eating? Eating crunchy foods can apparently help with this as well as sucking up smoothies through a large straw to give sensory feedback to the mouth. You can also get chew necklaces that may be worth a try

SpaceDinosaur · 03/03/2020 23:07

At three I would have a conversation before a party about expectations. Explain that not playing and ignoring his friends is rude.
Begging for cake is rude
Tell him if he is hungry then he can sit with you and eat a rice cake (bring with you) and have water but if he asked for cake before it is offered you will take him straight home.

Does he sit for all meals and snacks. No tv/distractions/mindless eating?

RandomMess · 03/03/2020 22:59

Sometimes tall at a young age is more grandparents and skipped a generation. DH was 6'3" at 13 🙈

Original poster
Passthedyson · 03/03/2020 22:40

No social issues at all. Yes we have tall but not outrageously. Parents average. No one is huge but we are all good eaters on both sides.

OP posts:
paintedfences · 03/03/2020 22:33

Have you any concerns about his social interaction with other children? Any concerns about his development generally? I ask as I think children with ASD or learning difficulties can sometimes have a food obsession.

RandomMess · 03/03/2020 21:48

Just Wineand Thanks because that sounds so tough!

In your extended family do you have anyone exceptionally tall? He could be genuinely hungry mixed with "bad habits"/personality because he is a top centile super grower...

Original poster
Passthedyson · 03/03/2020 21:25

At parties he won’t play he just eats food off the buffet. Asks for cake as soon as we enter and won’t stop.

OP posts:
Original poster
Passthedyson · 03/03/2020 21:23

Thanks I will go to the GP I think.
Drinks fine amount lots of water also often has water before eating. Wheetabix will have 2 of them and ask for more, toast has 1 slice we used to give 2 but I think toddler portion is only 0.5 slice so thought better reduce it as he is chubby and fine overall. Looked up portion sizes a while ago to check I wasn’t over feeding but they are “textbook”.
The worse tantrums are over snacks than meal times but at meal times most meals he wants to finish family& friends foods.

Carbs deffo set him off more - bread, chips, cake & biscuits

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 03/03/2020 21:15

@Passthedyson another thought is to speak to gp about your DC's sodium levels and how his body is responding to salty foods. Too much sodium makes you less thirsty (strangely) and more hungry. I'm not suggesting he's eating too much salt, but he may be breaking it down differently to the norm.

Goth4moths · 03/03/2020 14:05

I agree with other posters that maybe thirst may play a part but I have the complete opposite problem with my daughter, she is an okay eater but will drink constantly, I mean all day, I have to limit water. Demands it constantly fortunately not such an issue when out. I would say your doing everything you can, try not to let it get you down, but I would be asking a gp for a referal to a dietician they may be able to shed some light :)

InDubiousBattle · 03/03/2020 12:50

What are the portion sizes like op? From your list of food I wouldn't say it was an enormous amount depending on the different combinations? So 3 pieces of fruit (before breakfast, afternoon snack and after tea), a weetabix, crackers and cheese, a yogurt, peanut butter and two balanced meals? It's more that one of mine would eat at 3 but less that my other one. Either he is genuinely still hungry for more food, in which case always offer an apple and maybe increase his portions a bit or could it possibly just be three year old behaviour ? Snatching, whining, tantrumming are not out of the ordinary with a three year old. Could you try having an activity planned for straight after meals, something easy like a coloring book to distract hin if you can sense a tantrum coming on?

rosiejaune · 02/03/2020 23:40

Try recording what he eats on Cronometer (pick the NCCDB listings as they have all the micronutrients analysed) and see if he's missing any nutrients that would cause him to crave more food.