DH hates it when I go out

You don't have a good marriage OP.

You have a
Controlling
Bullying
Sulking
Mean
Twat of a husband

He wants you to stop going out.
He wants you to feel it isn't worth the hassle.

Bullying, nasty twat.
I wouldn't put up with it.

He doesn't care enough about you to WANT you to have a nice evening.

He doesn't care enough about you to think you deserve a nice evening out.

He is so selfish and wrapped up in what he wants he is more than happy to spoil your occasional night out.

If it was me...I would go absolutely nuclear on him and tell him if he EVER so much as gives you the side eye re going out again you will take it that your marriage is in very serious trouble and be taking steps to protect yourself.

Nice, decent men DO NOT behave like this.

My husband used to start an argument every time I went out.
The argument was never about the going out, he said.
But, of course, it was.
By the end of our marriage i went out twice a year, on my birthday and on his, and we were back home for 9 o'clock.
He went out 5 nights a week.
We're divorced now, and I go out whenever I want!

I’d start going out more and completely ignore all the sulking.

I had this.
I stopped going out it was too much hassle.

Yes - he’s trying to guilt you into not going and also making sure that if you do go, you know that you’ll pay for it with his moodiness when you get home. I mean why would you want to go out when you could instead enjoy his scintillating company

DH used to do this. Call him out on it every single time is the way. “The way you are behaving with your sulking makes me think that you don’t want me to go out and are trying to punish me for wanting a social life? That’s terrible, no? Have a think about that whilst I’m gone; don’t wait up”.

Then ignore and gone on about your business. It is absolutely his problem and he gets one warning so he knows not to mess with you and then it’s up to him how he behaves but you won’t be playing.

My DH has stopped now - I know he’s still not thrilled but he asks me (nicely) if I had a good time and no post event sulking. Result!

I get this from my husband but not quite as obviously. It's very subtle and he would never say it outright but I know he doesn't like it when I go out and would prefer if I never did.

Like a pp's husband my DH also never goes out with friends and so this gives him leverage to imply that it's a bit pathetic/immature for me to want to still go out. He stopped practically all socializing as soon as we got married/had the DC. It's bizarre as we're still relatively young (early 30s) and I'm not ready to accept that life is over just because we "settled down".

Does your DH have outdated views on gender roles OP? Sexist views towards women? Are you much more physically attractive than him? Wondering if he's just insecure or if it's part of a more potentially sinister pattern?

Your marriage isnt shit OP, you have a good marriage apart from this sulking when you go out.

Nonsense. This isn't a good marriage. It's controlling bullshit that seems to be excusable because maybe he's been cheated on or maybe he's insecure. Controlling behaviour is not indicative of a good marriage by anyone's yardstick.

My ex husband was like this. It was one of the main reasons he is my ex.

OP, absolutely do not engage with him. Don't ask him what's wrong. Do you really want to carry on like this? He will get worse, not better.

Doesnt*

Your marriage isnt shit OP, you have a good marriage apart from this sulking when you go out. I'd sit and have a talk with him to see why he is behaving this way. I'm guessing either he does trust you (maybe previous relationship ended because of an affair? Or maybe a parent had an affair? Just guessed) Or he has very low self esteem and worries you will meet someone better. None of these things excuse his behaviour but in a marriage that is otherwise fine I certainly wouldnt just throw it all away. Does he have friends?

My ex husband (note the ex) did this. It was so boring, he would barely speak to me when I was getting ready and when I got home again. Then he started sulking whenever I even told him I had a night out coming up. I'm not now, nor have I ever been, a party animal, but we were together for the whole of my 20s so this happened a lot.

He's trying to spoil your fun, obviously, to the extent that he hopes eventually you'll think his punishment (because, make no bones about it, that's what this is) isn't worth the fun you'll have on your night out or whatever. It's a very dangerous position to be in, because this kind of behaviour can escalate into him trying to control you in other ways. Eventually I 'wasn't allowed' to go out with my friends at all.

Needs to get used to it - I’d go out once a week til he stops moaning. Just to go to the gym or late night shopping centre. Unacceptable behaviour from him, seriously no good.

Your future with this man is very grim indeed. Sorry, but your marriage is shit and this would be a total deal breaker for me.

If he sulks with you tomorrow, go out again, tomorrow night..

He's trying to train you not to go out. If you aren't going to leave him, you have to show there are repercussions to sulking.

Does he go out with his friends?

YABU for saying “girly friend“

Apart from that, YANBU.

This will never get better.
Good luck to you.

Do men like this also mind if you go and see your family?

It sounds like a form of control and he could turn abusive. Has he always been like this or did it start when you got married?

You didn't mention kids, do you have any? A lot of domestic abuse, physical or otherwise, tends to start or increase during pregnancy.

You need to make the going out a more regular thing.

It's not like he's punishing you-he is punishing you!

He's nasty.

I'd be thinking about leaving tbh-who can be bothered with that shit?

Your marriage is good when you're behaving as he dictates. When you don't..? Not so good now is it? A man who sulks when his wife dares to go out without him is waving a big red flag...

I get this sometimes OP and I'm going out too tonight. So far he's been fine about it but there's still time yet for him to get moody.

I have had all sorts of comments before, why else would I want to do make up, hair, dress up other than to attract men is one of my favourites. As if you can't just enjoy looking nice sometimes without it being to attract an affair.

He hates if I go into the city so I just don't go anymore. I just end up staying local. Apparently the city is full of men who'll stare at me or some shit.

My problem is he never goes out. So he makes it easy to believe that I'm just immature or wrong etc... For still wanting to because he never does. I'd actually prefer it if he did go out so I could do so without feeling guilty.

Like you, he is fine in every other way but has some major trust issues in this respect. And yes it's done to guilt us into not going. He'd never outright say he didn't want me to go but he'll be obviously grumpy about it.

I know if he ever knew I'd been dancing in a bar or club he'd go mental, saying it was just for men's attention etc...

It's wrong and it's controlling. I just ignore it now and do what I want, tell him he can leave if he doesn't like it. He usually only lasts a few hours before he starts realising how stupid he's being.

He used to come out with us as a group but I refuse to do that anymore because he ruins it every time due to making some comment about me or getting insecure somehow.

The thing is, unfortunately you don't have a good marriage, because on one level his attitude underpins everything. Doesn't matter if you only go out every couple of days, months or weeks. Passive aggressive behaviour is almost always about control.

He's a jealous twat. He's hoping to grind you down so you don't go out anymore and that's worrying.
Also, had a friend once who had this trouble and it turns out the husband was cheating. Basically, he was projecting that she must be getting up to what he did when he went out.