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AIBU?

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Original poster

Woman in men’s changing room

180 replies

Hoppinggreen · 06/02/2020 11:18

Firstly this is NOT a trans issue, if it was I would have posted in Feminism
DS is 11 . He has a weekly swimming lesson at a school owned pool but the lesson is privately run. All the other children are of a similar age.
Every week one of the Mums goes into the men’s/boys changing rooms after the lesson to help her son get showered and changed. The boy is 10 and as far as I know (although obviously there’s no reason I would know if it wasn’t the case) there are no SN.
DS has mentioned that he is a bit uncomfortable with it, he is starting to show signs of puberty and he won’t use the showers as this woman is standing there - according to DS she helps her son wash his hair and holds his towel for when he gets out. There are no cubicles that DS can use and while he says the woman seems nice and isn’t really doing anything inappropriate he would rather she wants there.
What is the view on this? Initially I didn’t think much of it but since DS has said he’s not comfortable with it should I mention it to the teacher?
Part of me thinks DS is making an unnecessary fuss but I’m sure I wouldn’t think that if a man had been in the ladies changing room when DD had been that age. Plus DS is usually pretty chilled about things like that, he’s happy to walk round naked upstairs at home so if he’s mentioning it it’s obviously bothering him
I’m genuinely interested in other opinions

OP posts:
PityParty4one · 06/02/2020 11:24

YANBU.

If the little boy needs extra support then the mum needs to use the family changing room or toilet to help him change.

raspberryk · 06/02/2020 11:23

Adults do not enter the changing room of the opposite sex, you'd be very uncomfortable at a man being in the women's and this is no different.
If for whatever reason her ds can't change alone he should accompany her in the women's. Although generally over 8's should use the changing room of their own sex.

1FootInTheRave · 06/02/2020 11:23

Yanbu

Dolorabelle · 06/02/2020 11:22

I don't think your DS is BU. At 10, I"d have thought that most able-bodied/non-cognitively impaired boys could wash & dress themselves.

I remember the awkward stage of early puberty (I'm female), and the difficulty my family (parents really) had in adjusting to my wish for privacy. I know we should all be trying to be open and there shouldn't be this weird mix of shame and desire for privacy, but if it's a thing, it's a thing.

JeezyPeeps · 06/02/2020 11:22

I don't think it's OK, personally.

I wouldn't be OK with a father in the woman's changing rooms either.

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