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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

665 replies

Hihothedairyo · 05/02/2020 11:40

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

OP posts:
HandsOffMyLangCleg · 05/02/2020 11:50

YABVU.

Women's bodies are not commodities.

Choice is an illusion. There was a great post on that subject in the surrogacy thread.

GlitchStitch · 05/02/2020 11:50

Bought consent isn't true consent. Even if a woman isn't trafficked in that moment, think about the circumstances that may have got her to that point. A very large number of women in prostitution have a history of abuse, chaotic backgrounds and addiction. Any man that pays to penetrate a woman who is literally doing it because she needs money is no better than a rapist IMO.

Original poster
Hihothedairyo · 05/02/2020 11:49

She does it because she has no other option

I understand some women's reasoning for doing it, however, it is never the only option.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 05/02/2020 11:49

How are you sure the woman hasn't been trafficked?

Hoik · 05/02/2020 11:49

How would you know if someone was forced to be there or not? Many women are forced into it by partners/husbands rather than gangs of human traffickers or pimps.

Also many women forced into it by necessity seeing as they need money to pay rent, buy food, clothe children, etc.

Reginabambina · 05/02/2020 11:48

There is something very messed up about having sex with someone who doesn’t want to have it with you.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 05/02/2020 11:48

Re-read your second to last paragraph. See how many times the word ‘use/used’ is in there, in reference to another human being, and have a rethink about how ok you are with that. And if, after thinking about, you’re still ok with that, I doubt anyone here can change your mind to be honest.

Mrskeats · 05/02/2020 11:47

I would totally judge someone that used prostitutes.
That's not consent.

Hoik · 05/02/2020 11:47

Getting paid for that service means they need the money therefore it is not consenting sex because if they don't provide the sex they don't get the cash.

The myth of the happy hooker with a heart of gold providing a service to her clients and having a jolly good time for herself too is a myth. Prostitution harms women.

user14928465 · 05/02/2020 11:46

provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked

And how do you manage that exactly?

ILoveBlinking · 05/02/2020 11:46

You can’t buy consent.

No one has a right to sex.

How much money would it take for the men using prostitutes to have sex with a man they wouldn’t otherwise willingly have sex with?

If all the men using prostitutes are just lovely lonely men, why are so many prostitutes forced to do things they don’t want to, hurt, beaten or killed.

How would you know if someone was forced to be there or not? Many women are forced into it by partners/husbands rather than gangs of human traffickers or pimps.

PineappleDanish · 05/02/2020 11:46

Buying women is sordid, nasty and just awful. No woman actively chooses to become a prostitute. She does it because she has no other option.

It's exploitative, seedy and I would judge the fuck out of any man - or woman - who thinks it's OK.

(I also judge the fuck out of women who bleat on about sex work being a valid employment choice yadda yadda rather than stepping up and helping women get out of that situation).

Original poster
Hihothedairyo · 05/02/2020 11:43

Bezalelle OK, but, they ARE consenting. They are getting paid for it, and they are choosing to provide that service?

OP posts:
NameChange84 · 05/02/2020 11:43

Yes, I think you probably are in the minority.

Bezalelle · 05/02/2020 11:42

It is buying a woman's body.

Think about that for a minute.

Paying money to put your penis into a woman's vagina, who would not consent to it unless money was involved.

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