To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

Prostitution survivor here (mid to late 1990s).

It’s fucking grim and the vast majority of women involved are survivors of childhood sexual assault or are groomed into it by abusive partners or the industry itself.

You are being very naive, rather than unreasonable.

Besides the fact that you would have no real idea about how "willing" these women really are, it's fucking gross and desperate to actually pay someone to fuck you. I wouldn't want to be with a man like that

It’s exploitation and abuse.
Do you think it would be ok for your daughter or son to be a prostitute?
Have to fuck people for money?

@ILoveBlinking I have reluctantly come to the same conclusion. I know it is not popular too, but it is still a logical view to hold if you believe that women's bodies should not be commodities to be bought, sold or rented.

Bezalelle
Paying money to put your penis into a woman's vagina, who would not consent to it unless money was involved.

But people wouldn't consent to a LOT of things if money was not involved. Would not consent to rubbing strangers bodies (massage therapists), clearing someone's gutters, delivering someone's post....

Fortunately I have never been in the position of having to sell my body to feed house and clothe my children but I have done some pretty disgusting dehumanising jobs to do so.
Read about the women who are turning to prostitution due to UC or benefit sanctions. I m sure we could argue that they are consenting adults making that choice but I dont think so. They are forced into it so their kids dont starve.
And how would you know someone is trafficked? They re not going to say so and risk being killed or beaten up.
Sorry I dont agree with it. It s taking advantage of a weaker more vulnerable person, who doesnt get all the money anyway.

I don’t judge any woman who works / has worked as a prostitute.
I do judge the men who use them.
In fact, I support the idea of decriminalising the selling of sex, while criminalising the buying of it. If the women didn’t end up with criminal records then it would be easier for them to transition to “normal” jobs (not easy per se, but it would remove a barrier). And, perhaps, if the men were risking prosecution, and the subsequent risk to their reputation and livelihood, they might think twice.

One hundred and thirty people working as prostitutes in San Francisco were interviewed regarding the extent of violence in their lives and symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Fifty-seven percent reported that they had been sexually assaulted as children and 49% reported that they had been physically assaulted as children. As adults in prostitution, 82% had been physically assaulted; 83% had been threatened with a weapon; 68% had been raped while working as prostitutes; and 84% reported current or past homelessness.......
You can't justify prostitution, it's domestic abuse that is paid for.

Even in the highly unlikely event of a’happy prostitute’ actually existing, the renting of a body to use its holes for your own selfish sexual gratification is grim.

I would judge anyone who uses prostitutes as completely selfish and morally bankrupt.

@burneyfanny totally agree.
Also to the PPs disagreeing with all sex work- lap dancing etc, you are totally clueless and are arguing about something you have no experience or knowledge of. Not even going to bother arguing because you clearly don’t care to learn

I disagree with surrogacy too and I'm sure you'll find that most others here agree. Bodies are not a commodity.

OP are you totally ignoring pps who have tried to explain choice and consent to you?

As for the lad with muscular dystrophy, he doesn't have a right to sex. He'll never fly a plane either but Boeing won't let him name his price. That's life.

No one is minimising the experiences of make victims, the conversation here is about female prostitution.
This.^^
Don't forget, ladies, you are not allowed to talk about things that happen to girls and women, because they might happen to boys and men too, and if you are not explicitly talking about boys and men, then you hate all men, you evil feminist witches.
Ha!
I have known several young, male prostitutes, I am well aware that they are victims too. Incidentally, NONE of them were ever bought by a woman. Men were the only "customers".

Ugh.... sorry OP I dont normally feel this strongly ... but part of your post has made me feel sick!
"Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked"

That - Im afraid - is one of the most naive comments I have ever heard. I know someone who works in a refuge and they have trafficked women in there. The women are told to talk to the men, be friendly, pretend they fancy them - so the men dont THINK they are trafficked! How do you propose that they check effectivly? These women are terrified, beaten, abused, have had their passports removed, have been lied to by their traffickers. How is some bloke with a hardon going to ascertain whether someone like this or not has been trafficked????

Nick Vujic has no arms or legs yet he is a married father.

Stephen Hawking had relationships after diagnosis.

People with disabilities manage to have loving relationships which include sex all the time.

It’s not a free pass that entitles you to another woman’s vagina.

If they are there by choice, then hey are consenting, in my opinion

Cos being beaten to death by your pimp or detoxing and choking on your own vomit is a much better option...

@HoppingPavlova I’m against surrogacy, I know it’s not a popular opinion but it’s my opinion anyway.

Nope, sorry. You're entitled to your opinion on this but I once found this out about someone I was close to (not romantically) and it totally changed my view of them because I think it shows an attitude towards other people (usually women) that is repulsive.

Quite apart from anything else you never know if the prostitute had been trafficked or coerced, you just decide that the odds are fair enough for you not to care when the possibility is set against your own pleasure.

I understand from friends that the attitude of women living in Amsterdam is similar so I'm afraid I don't think legalisation will help you either!

Actually I agree with you OP to a certain extent. I think there is a place for sex workers, for instance for those living with physical handicaps that would otherwise deny them a sex life. Women's bodies and their physical labour is commoditized in all sorts of ways. The real difficulty comes in in determining the degree of agency women have in choosing to take up sex work.

YOU CANNOT BUY CONSENT.

That's called coercion.

It really is that simple

Crinkle77, as pointed out upthread, nobody has a right to sex. It’s not an entitlement and plenty of people die as virgins. That may be individually regrettable but does not vindicate the abuse of vulnerable women to solve it.

I personally don't believe it's ever a person's only option, I think that's bullshit.

It may not actually be the only choice, but to them, at that point in their lives, it feels like it absolutely is.

Surely you can see the difference?

It's seedy but I'd never support it being made illegal, as I don't want to live in a nanny state. If a woman chooses to sell her body, she should have the right to do so. Her body, her choice. If it's a mistake, her mistake to make. I guess I believe in personal liberty even if I don't agree with how someone chooses to exercise their right to do as they wish.

@Hihothedairyo
OK, but, they ARE consenting. They are getting paid for it, and they are choosing to provide that service?

Define consent - are they consenting if they're addicted? Trafficked? Traumatised through childhood sexual abuse to only value themselves for what they provide to men? Scared of physical punishment from their pimp?

How does a punter establish consent? How many women do you really think choose the risks of prostitution as a free and consenting 'career choice' without alternative options? Think about it

I am also strongly against the prosecution of women who engage in prostitution. It is bizarre that, historically, it was a crime to be a prostitute, but not a crime to buy their services

Not bizarre at all. The prostitute was female, the buyer male. Of course she was the problem!

So if a woman is in an abusive relationship and feels she has no other options (as happens hundreds of time over on the relationships board) and her husband rapes her, in your mind she has consented because she’s there by choice...