To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

Always scum. HTH.

I think we need an "I am a prostitute ask me anything" thread.

There was one last year I think, I remember reading it.

If you want a genuine insight it's best to listen to what actual sex workers say, and unfortunately in my experience a lot of people on here who have very strong opinions are simply not interested in what we say.

I am willing to listen to your insights fairylightsaremycrack If you (or anyone else) have a different experience to talk about and feel that it is representative of sex workers, I am interested to hear it.

YABU I couldn’t go near any man that I knew had used a prostitute.

Nobody has a right to sex, it is something that should only happen between consenting adults and if you have to pay someone in order for them to have sex with you that is not real consent is it? They are doing it because they need the cash. I can’t get my head around having sex with someone when you know they don’t really want to do it.

I feel like some won't get sex without paying for it.

That's genuinely very sad, but lack of sex will not kill you and it still doesn't justify renting another body - especially when the person that body belongs to is involved in a trade which markedly increases their chances of being murdered.

Interestingly, the 'what about the poor disabled people' argument only ever seems to crop up from the perspective of disabled men 'needing' to have sex with a woman. People usually seem less bothered about whether disabled women get to lose their virginity or not (and no, I am not advocating male prostitutes for them). Another strand of that belief that men are 'entitled' to sex in a way that women aren't, perhaps?

In every single matriarchal society studied across the world, no form of prostitution whatsoever exsists.

Losing your virginity to a prostitute is just fucking sad, frankly. I think there’s an issue with society if someone feels the need to lose their virginity so desperately they’d pay someone for it.

You are definitely in a minority. I would view any man who had paid a woman to use her body very dimly indeed.

The issue about people with disabilities paying for sexual services is interesting. Here's the Wikipedia entry for Tuppy Owens who has been a campaigner around sex and disability for ages. Personally I don't agree that there is a "right" to have sex with another person.

I find it absurd when people say that it's no big deal because some women actually choose prostitution and are happy about it. So we should legislate to protect the choices of the least vulnerable prostitutes at the expense of the most vulnerable?

One of the arguments against the slave trade was that some slaves were very happy in their positions, and their place in life was more comfortable than they could hope for outside of the slave trade. So should we have kept slavery because of those few people inside who who benefited from it?

I know one woman who is a prostitute - she’s very open about it (she lives in my street actually!) and she does it because she says she loves sex, can pick and choose who she has sex with and it’s very easy money, and she makes good money. I’d imagine women like her are exceptionally rare though.
Also unfortunately she’s not very well regarded in the community, particular in terms of self respect despite her protestations that’s she’s content (people always seem to think they know how a woman in a certain situation must feel of course 🙄 but they don’t) but I don’t hear much grumbling about all of the mucky men who visit her, and their respect, for themselves or women. Double standards.

She can do what she wants as far as I’m concerned, and she’s the only one who ever organises a litter pick round here!

Sorry I missed that reply. So prostitution isn't good enough for your daughter, but it's fine for other people's daughters, is that it? What makes those women different from your family?

right...i am a woman who was a 'prostitute' for aroubd 6 months.
i walked the streets in the middle of winter, because i was a drug addict and especially wanted crack.
now, the guys i saw, some were perfect gentlemen..for the most part, just regular guys, except once i was robbed and left in a car park and i suppose youre not a good guy if your cheating on your wife.
one guy wanted a hand job because his wife was terminally ill and he didnt want to be pestering her for sex, he was loving to her in all other ways so it really depends how you want to see it...
ps. i dont do it anymore!!

@LittleSweet if you became disabled to the extent that you felt no one would choose to have sex with you, would you pay someone to have sex with you?

@DuLANGMondeFOREVER I agree with you. I can’t be with a man who uses porn and someone who had bought sex would also raise too many red flags. I’d much rather be on my own than be with someone like that.

I was thinking of men and women being exploited.

"I don't have a need to and honestly would have no clue how to even if I did."

Do you realise the privilege this one statement gives you? You don't sound like you do at all.

As for not being bothered if your partner has paid a woman who doesn't want to let him put his body parts inside her but he's done it anyway. 🤮 Fuck me. Raise your standards

I agree that it's exploitation of in many cases of vulnerable people. But I don't know how I feel about disabled people paying for sex. I feel like some won't get sex without paying for it. I feel like they should be able to have sex. Is there a way of screening people to be sex therapists so it isn't vulnerable people being exploited? Like any other type of therapist?

YABVU
but everybody else told you that already

i won’t even date men who use porn, let alone men who have bought sex.

But that’s where having been the saleable product lands you.

There were a couple of elderly men who I perhaps think less badly of (both of whom had completely given up hope of ever having a real relationship again) but on the whole, the men who buy sex are not the ones you want to be in a relationship with. Massive red flag. A whole fucking string of bunting’s worth.

Sex is not a right, not a requirement for a healthy life, men will not die without it.

Women's bodies are not commodities. It is not a safe 'industry', it never can be, physically or emotionally.

Sex work is not empowering, no matter how much internalised misogyny tells you it is.

provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked

If she has been trafficked she's hardly going to tell one of the clients, is she? A lot about f trafficked women are in fear for their lives. And is a man visiting a prostitute going to be bothered about asking? No of course he isn't.

@Hihothedairyo what would your response be if your adult daughter told you she planned to become a prostitute?