To be convinced this isn't autism

Why are you so “anti” him being formally diagnosed or labelled?

From someone who has two children on the spectrum, I would not be cancelling. My two children are polar opposites.

My youngest sounds like what you have described. He is actually now in a specialist provision school and sound amazing.

ASD isn’t a one size fits all. For the sake of your son, consider having the assessment. You have nothing to lose.

In a SEN school, kids use ways of differentiating between people. My eldest used to say that some kids were "severe" and that he was more like aspergers. Im not sure the point of pulling people up when they use functioning levels and reducing their language to describe themselves.
people who are high functioning can have significant difficulties, but it is not the same as someone with Kanners autism. In many ways it is even harder because of the higher expectations, but the whole thing about getting rid of functioning labels, or aspergers as a diagnosis is controversial in the autism community and there isnt a consensus

I'm glad you have found all the replies helpful and enlightening.
I agree with virtually everyone that you would be making a huge mistake to stop / withdraw from the assessments at this stage.
If he isn't autistic, then that is what the assessments will find, but there is nothing in your list in the OP, that rules out a person having autism.
If concerns were raised as young as two, that seems to indicate it is more than likely there is something there.

Sorry for using HFA and LFA of a spectrum. I wasn't aware it was not used any more.

Ds is empathetic and imaginative; he has an autism diagnosis from the age of seven.

Emerald I hate using the terms: High functioning or low functioning.A diagnosis at 2 or 3 years of age does not predict whether a child is high or low functioning... hence a child who is non verbal does not suggest that they are "low functioning".

"High functioning" children- as you put, do can receive a diagnosis at 2 or three years of age. However, this requires the professional to really examine the child's behaviours, asses non verbal communication, play etc. These children are sometimes missed, especially girls, though this is slowly getting better, if a child has adequate speech and language skills, their overriding difficulties can be missed too.

What is to be gained if you cancel the appointments? If he doesn’t have it then he won’t be diagnosed with it, nothing else to it

Ds is 15 and was diagnosed in September. I really wish we had pursued a diagnosis earlier. Late diagnosis for him has meant mental health issues that we are now trying to get support for.

In hindsight there would have been evidence to diagnosis him at 5. We just didn't understand autism enough and his significant communication and interaction difficulties were ignored at school.

I would go for assessment, they won't diagnose unless the person meets the criteria but much better to get an earlier diagnosis if autism is a possibility.

Autism is so very different. But a diagnosis doesn't change whether someone is autistic or not. My son is very, very able so he is able to infer emotions and other similar things on a superficial level. When assessed, his language was in the 99th centile in all areas other than his inference, which was 30th centile. But, he was able to counteract this with strengths in other areas.

I was diagnosed at 28. I was married, two children, full time job, degree educated. Autism is not linear. I wish, so much, that I'd known earlier. As does my mum.

Hf and lf are unhelpful terms that professionals avoid using these days. I have one who would have been classed as hf and one who would have been termed lf although not so typical early on. but they both have pda and the anxiety that comes with that is extremely disabling, every bit as disabling for them both in different ways despite the hf & lf stereotypes. These aren’t helpful terms.

Op my kids had less than your pro asc list, yet both are very clear cut cases of kids with asc (and pda and adhd).

and he is high functioning

my middle child was diagnosed at 2 or 3. I raised concerns about him not responding to his name and flapping his hands, and they took it seriously because his brother already had a diagnosis, and did quite an indepth assesment over a period of a couple of months and he got a diagnosis.
I think the early intervention with him was a huge part of why he is coping with school better than my other two did/do

you might be tired of being in the system, but autism isnt uncommon, and if he IS autistic, then you would be doing him a disservice to remove him from the assessment just because youre finding it stressful.
If they have had concerns since he was 2, then you would be wise to listen and get some support here.
I have 3 children with autism, and I have it too, and all of us are sociable on our own terms when we want to be. I think maybe autism isnt what you think it is. I mean that gently. With a diagnosis you will find it much easier to get the right support, and the more that is put in place when young, the better his chances of getting through the education system ok

@whyismysoullost - Oh But I did suggest asd & believe me I still had a fight & it took longer than you can imagine to get to the assessment centre - we had to see a psychiatrist & mental health social worker first & still insist dd needed a diagnosis - the social worker stated at one point (how I resisted not punching her lights out I will never know!!) " Oh your dd is so lovely I am sure she will find someone to look after her"!!! They didn't talk to her at all -she was sitting beside us- but just directed the conversation at dh & me. Many gps have minimal expertise in asd & than only in profound type. This was in the 90's by the way...

I have taught many autistic children. Some show many 'autistic traits' some show few. It's a spectrum. I taught an autistic boy last year who was very sociable and friendly. He definitely recognised emotions but he wasn't able to cope with change at all. ASD diagnosis are like gold dust so you've been very lucky to get one. They may be able to give you advise or help to support your child's development whether they are diagnosed with ASD or not so I feel you would be silly not to go.

Op look up PDA - it may explain some behaviours. I'm not saying it is that, but you may see some overlap between PDA as defined in the PDA books and his behaviour. His behaviour may have its route in the anxiety he feels and how he reacts he does so defensively to demands (obviously oversimplifying PDA). He may not be PDA but may have some PDA tendencies.

There are some closed Facebook groups which are helpful.

Good luck x

Believe me you will really regret cancelling an assessment. Your in the system so use it to get the bottom of whats is going on. You may find you are sitting in 2/3yrs trying to get back into system and that could take years.

Asd can be from very mild to off the chart. A couple years ago your describing my now 9 year old. I'm glad I carried on with his assessments as it's taking ages but his issues have become clearer over the last year. As they age the difference in class shows more. His fantastic at maths vocally but if you hand him a pencil his hiding under the table. Stick with it you will be glad you did. Either the diagnosis will come and your child gets the support they may later require or the specialists say they are happy with your child and no further input is needed.

Millie Some of our children's centres, in my LA have not closed down. Please re-read my statement about the length of diagnosis pathways vary from area to area. Sorry to burst your bubble.