To hate Christmas present wish lists

We're all different. I use Amazon if I have to but no way I would be passing them that much trade.

And there can be a blend. This year we've chosen a Christmas tree ornament for everyone - something we've enjoyed buying, and we hope they will appreciate.

I love a list. A really specific list with website links. That way I know I'm getting the person exactly what they want. Or if it's general, that's Ok - greeen gloves, or a heated throw... I can choose.

And visa versa. If I want a specific scented candle, I don't want some horrid thing. I would be giving that to the charity shop. But mule slippers - they can choose.

I'd mentioned not doing presents to SIL a few weeks ago and she confirmed last night she thought it was a great idea. There's something pretty soul destroying about having to think of 6 or so items that I want that cost under £20 and then clicking on everyone else's list to purchase their items. DS 13 will still get everyone small gifts but we're saved most of the trouble and expense for adults.

However after a few not so good years of presents I tell DH exactly what I want. This year it's new walking boots but in Christmas sales.

Think they are a great idea to help avoid presents that are neither wanted not needed

I like wish lists for all the reasons everyone else who likes them has said. We only do them with the immediate family (six of us); it helps as we live a long way apart and so we're not always au courant with each other's latest fads & whims.

Also, ours aren't compulsory: it's perfectly fine to go 'off list'.

I can what people mean about taking the joy out of it BUT I can say I am really excited about what's on my list so I will be really pleased to get anything from it. I'm quite joyous at the prospect

I don't like being asked what I want nor do I like asking what others want it makes me feel awkward! So I defo don't like the adult wish list that is grabby 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Actual links are a bit cringy - but with my own teenage children I must admit it’s quite useful and I’m used to it now. Hate it when someone outside my immediate family sends me a link though, especially if unsolicited.

Sending a wish list out of the blue is strange and probably even rude, but in my family, they're typically requested, because it can be difficult to know what to buy for people. I try to come up with several ideas, so it's not quite so boring (and so there's something for any budget).

If I don't receive a wish list or suggestion from another person, I usually just give cash in a card, because I'm sick of guessing what someone wants and potentially throwing money down the drain on something they won't use. (And inspiration doesn't often provide a perfect gift idea of my own, unfortunately.)

My ILs tell DH exactly what they want, i.e 'buy me this specific item of amazon.' I think it sucks the joy out myself, I don't mind being given rough ideas but why not just buy said item yourself if you don't want the giver putting any thought in? Also annoys me because we then have to spend what they've asked when they have plenty of money, and we're only just getting by with young kids. Rant over, they do buy for our family so can't complain. I'm used to my family where you get each other smaller more thoughtful gifts and no pressure to spend money if you don't have it.

YABU

I like lots of typical gift items but I’m particular about brands etc
I would definitely rather something I would use.

We use wishlistr (kids & adults) and people put on a mixture of specific items and general ideas. No-one expects to get everything, and it's ok to buy other things too.

Suits me. Shopping is quicker and I know people are getting things they actually want so I'm not wasting my time or money.

Much prefer a wish list system, as long as everyone involved is in agreement with it (rather than sending out unsolicited requests).

We have multiple children to buy for in our family, and we have a secret santa for the adults. I'd much rather buy something that's genuinely wanted or needed than something generic, or something that I've guessed they might like, or random plastic tat.

YANBU

I wish my MIL would do the same. It’s such a hassle.

I can see both sides. I think it all depends what's on the list. Expensive requests do seem grabby & the spirit of Christmas gets well & truly lost.
However, a short list of affordable small items can be really useful & it is always preferable to get someone a gift they actually like & want to use.

I get what you are saying but they do save stress, time, energy and waste. I have refused to get my DH gifts this year until he gives he a list of some ideas. I don’t want to waste money and effort on things he’s not going to use. He’s difficult to buy for.

I like them.

I'd sooner know that my money went on something that was actually wanted rather than foisting my unwanted tat on people.

I much more prefer to know what the children like. Otherwise they end up with plastic crap that gets opened then charity shopped.

Yep. My family and I all don this. We have a secret Santa thing and so only buy each other one good present from a list full r my siblings, dad and I. Within our house we do something similar so that's dad, my mother in law, nephew and me. We all buy the dogs presents. Wish lists are essential because we are all difficult to buy for and we love each other enough to make an effort.

Christmas isn't just for children. It is a time of year for everyone. It's actually really miserable to consider it just for children.

My SIL sends round a birthday and Christmas list. One of the reasons DH and I now buy for children only...

I get what you’re saying, but I quite like it. If I genuinely have no idea what to get say my sister in law, I’d rather she said what she wanted, than I bought her something she hated. Present giving is all about the recipient, for me. I want to give something they want.

I never have any good ideas about what to get people and even if I do think of something never have any confidence in it.

Lists are a godsend.

We all do Amazon lists. And I'm torn - my family aren't great at choosing me things I like, and I love receiving things I actually want. It makes Christmas shopping really easy, especially for in laws we don't know well. But... I feel like it takes the joy out of the whole thing somehow.

One of my relatives sends a list every year, unsolicited, with a message saying it is ordered by how much they want each item, which I find a bit off.