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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

892 replies

pinkboa · 26/11/2019 22:57

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 02:13

@BigChocFrenzy

I don't need your lamentations, ok?

Now give it a rest!!!!

Did you read up thread where I accepted all this!

Jesus wept! You can put the soapbox away.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 02:10

@outherealone

It's literally a dome with a pool inside. You enter through the changing rooms. It's at a school not a leisure centre. There is nowhere else to wait as I explained.

@1forAll74

I'll definitely get banned then!

@areyouafraidofthedark
Somewhere in the commonwealth, some what popular.. hot and lovely.

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 27/11/2019 02:08

pinkboa

You brought children into a single sex space where men are allowed to be naked
You expected that any man coming in later would change his normal behaviour, because a child was present

However, that is NOT the culture for single sex spaces in the UK, or for most if not all other European countries
Either nudity is allowed, or it is forbidden, reagardless of the ages of those present

Also, regarding your invasion of mens' single sex spaces:
this is against the rules and if anyone chooses to make a complaint, you could get into trouble

Do you think it reasonable for a man to enter a womens' single sex changing room, merely because it is empty and more convenient than the mens ?
To sit there for 30 minutes with women around, changing ?

This may be different in your culture or country, but in the UK / Europe you must accepot our culture & customs

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 02:08

May I ask a question:

As people have said 7 is the age they go in by Themselves

What happens at 7 if he is in there by himself and is uncomfortable? Would that be a fault of mine... at 7 I assume he would be in there with children of a similar age not adults getting changed.

At the other swim place where his sister attends for older kids there are no cubicles it's just an open space and an enclosed toilet. And I have seen older boys (6/7) in with their mums getting dressed.

Which I always thought was odd... as again I thought boys go to the boys room and girls to the girls room, regardless of who is taking them. but now I know it's the parents sex that matters.

OP posts:
areyouafraidofthedark · 27/11/2019 02:06

What country are you from OP?

1forAll74 · 27/11/2019 02:01

Just wear some very dark sunglasses ,next time you go into this male changing room again !

outherealone · 27/11/2019 02:00

*ApexPrey Tue 26-Nov-19 23:54:06
When my kids swim I usually wait in the café area. The other day a woman there was drinking COFFEE!!

AIBU to find it bizarre???*

Poor op, but honestly what are you doing sitting in the men’s changing room for half an hour because your bag was there and you have asthma? Do they not have a reception area if the women’s was too full of women?
I’m a keen and very regular swimmer when my health allows, there are always naked women in the women’s changing rooms regardless of whether there’s kids there or not. There’s no reason for it to be any different in the men’s surely? If clunge is acceptable then so should cock be or we ban the lot.
And you waited in a bloody weird place. For half an hour Confused

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 01:58

@BigChocFrenzy

Listen ok a room is sat empty... empty!

When I arrive on time for his class it is empty!!! It's always me and my son using that room. At the end of glass we usually see one other dad doing what I am doing which is getting his child dressed. And if the teachers come in they shower and wear a towel by which time we are leaving. I am used to the human anatomy.

Why should I not make use of it?!

I... please read, why would I object to nudity in a (shock horror) changing room?!

I said it was strange he did it with children around, other people's children. Hope that clarifies.

And as I said I-me-I would never walk around naked in front of someone else's child and I know this opinion defers from the consensus. Report away.

@areyouafraidofthedark

They are my children I have no issues with my offspring.

OP posts:
ApexPrey · 27/11/2019 01:56

Britain has evolved... the British legacy (empire) has not. And that is even more interesting... but I digress

I've got to be honest, I don't have a clue how this relates to what I said. I'm guessing you just don't want to say where you're from?

ApexPrey · 27/11/2019 01:54

So, it's safe to say if it was my husband it's ok for a man to go completely naked in front of children that aren't his. Fab!

Yes, it really is completely fine in a swimming pool changing room.

BigChocFrenzy · 27/11/2019 01:51

Hell, if I knew of a woman going into the mens' changing rooms, I'd report her if the men didn't

SIngle sex spaces should be kept single space

areyouafraidofthedark · 27/11/2019 01:50

Don't you go naked in front of your child sometimes to get dressed or your partner? It's a penis not a bloody snake. Your little one won't even notice it or be bothered!

BlackCatSleeping · 27/11/2019 01:50

I have to admit that I have never managed to get changed from swimming without exposing myself even if there are other people's children present, including little boys. I don't think little kids are all that bothered. Most have seen their parents naked. Once a kid is old enough to get changed by themselves, they should use the appropriate changing facilities.

I remember my dad taking me swimming as a child and getting changed in the men's changing room. That was around 40 years ago!

BigChocFrenzy · 27/11/2019 01:48

pinkboa Then if you continue using mens's single sex facilities, you can expect to see mens' bodies again
Ridiculous to complain when YOU are the person in a place you are not allowed

I'm surprised no man has yet made a complaint about you

If a man came into our changing room we'd kick him out immediately
and if he hadn't accidentally picked the wrong door, we'd get the pervert banned

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 01:46

@BigChocFrenzy

I'm also well within my right to find it odd.

And I never do, but as it's a CHILDS lesson it's the last thing you expect to see.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 01:44

I get it. Most of the objection is about me a woman in a mans space... I get it.

So, it's safe to say if it was my husband it's ok for a man to go completely naked in front of children that aren't his. Fab!

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 27/11/2019 01:44

You are perfectly entitled to ensure your child does not see a naked adult .... by never taking them to places where naked adults are allowed / normal

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 01:42

@BigChocFrenzy

Tbh if I need to use a toilet and the only available one was Male... I'm using it. 😐.

@TulipCa
With my child**

@wildcherries

What reason do I have to lie. I didn't, now I know. I gave justification for why I always went into the men's... it's convenient... and I'd choose convenience over an over crowded space where I have to struggle for space to get a 2 year old dressed. I like a simple life preferably one without hairy behinds!

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 27/11/2019 01:41

"I still don't think anyone should be walking around naked in front of a strangers child"

When you run your own establishment, you can make the rules

Currently in single sex changing rooms and showers, when adult nakedness is accepted, the rules do not change if children are present

That is the situation in the UK and the European countries that I know - Germany, Scandinavia

Hopoindown31 · 27/11/2019 01:37

Amazing really that you weren't hauled out by the staff. I guess the men didn't either give a shit or were too worried about it looking bad if they complained. It is awful that you thought it was okay to go in the men's changing room, please don't do it again.

StoppinBy · 27/11/2019 01:36

I find it really weird that you as a grown woman were in the mens change rooms.

Women in the women's change rooms, men in the men's change rooms and very young children wherever they need to be to be with their parents. Any child over about 7 I think should either be in the right change room or use a family change room or if need be private cubicle if they are with a parent of the opposite sex in the change room of the opposite sex.

The man getting naked in the men's change room was in the right, if a man came in to the ladies change room I would make a swift complaint and have him removed and it should be no different because you are a woman in the Men's.

BringMeAGinandTonic · 27/11/2019 01:35

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

Easy on there! We’ll not have that kind of behaviour!

Now that's funny.

Now on a serious note, if it was Jamie Frasier in that changing room, I would have a stroke. ;)

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 01:35

@ItsGoingTibiaK

I'm an excellent fly fisherman (is that the term?).

@Shesalittlemadam
Where does it say I sat in a male dressing room by myself... I'm shocked at the poor skim reading here. You do know benches are at one end, where parents sit and (ignore) watch the kids swim... because you know we have wrap them in a towel when they get out. And before you jump at that one asthma, humidity... triggering.

Perhaps I am a hypocrite... I just thought you took the child to the dressing room that corresponded with the child's sex, not the parents. And as it's a children's swimming lesson I wasn't expecting naked adult Male. But now I know!

@ApexPrey

Britain has evolved... the British legacy (empire) has not. And that is even more interesting... but I digress.

@BigChocFrenzy duly noted... but interesting as he didn't seem inhibited to drop his pants... in front of the adult female and her SON. Be reminded I wasn't sat there by myself. As I pointed out it's not for me... it's nice of you to cut and paste only the part that suits you to continue to lament at my ignorance at what is common practice. Yes they are using it as intended, but I still don't think anyone should be walking around naked in front of a strangers child... is that clear now? It's my opinion... it defers from the common practice.... but its still my opinion. ( that was a shouty rant, that last bit)

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 27/11/2019 01:34

Anyway OP, now you know the rules:

Do not go into mens' toilets or changing rooms or other male single sex spaces

Regardless of the sex of your child, regardless of how long a queue, you can only go into the womens' or unisex facilities

TulipCat · 27/11/2019 01:31

OMG, I am dying laughing here! You went into the men's changing room at a swimming pool, and sat in there for half an hour. You are complaining that there are naked men in there 😂😂😂. I am surprised they didn't ask you to leave. You are a grown woman and should not be in there.