Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

Is either your husband or the child disabled? If not, then same 'cultural' rules apply. Husband should take child to men's loo with him.

Only exception to that is if there is a nappy change to be done and the change table is in the same cubicle as the disabled loo. But that would be a whole other thread...

I still dont understand why it was the mens changing room you had to sit in @pinkboa

It is not an option of "sit in the mens room or stand out in the rain" as you have the option of sitting poolside or in the women's room instead you are choosing to perve on men changing.

During the lesson the only people in the women's changing room were other mums and you only sit in there because your asthma means you can't stay poolside, so why cant you sit in the womens room? Just because the male changing room is more likely to be empty doesnt make it a unisex waiting room.

Now that you know that male changing rooms are for males to change in and you may be confronted with penises, you need to stop going in there just because it is empty and go to the women's changing room for the duration of the lesson.

Adult women should not be in a male changing space as adult men should not be there. Taking children of the opposite sex in is a chance you take and you should do so cautiously depending on the age of the child. I remember when our swimming baths had gendered changing rooms (it must be 20 years since they changed) and there used to be a sign saying children over 8 must use the correct changing room.

There also was always limited cubicles so most got changed 'in the open' even if there was a cubicle available- i would guess this man is just used to and comfortable with being naked in with other men.

I surprised you weren't asked to leave but you have no right to complain about this at all. Next time take your son in the women's changing room.

pinkboa Wed 27-Nov-19 00:05:15
I suppose next time it's back to the car to wait!

pinkboa Wed 27-Nov-19 10:12:54
*@Londonborncatty I refuse to stand outside in the cold and it was also raining! Nope!

So you could have waited in the car ... but by this morning there was no car...

Sure ... Much as I have enjoyed this thread madness, you need to pack it in now OP. Your er inconsistencies are starting to strain.

And as a general point, anyone sitting around in any changing room rather than actively getting changed is in the wrong... it’s not a spectator activity. And is liable to make you appear to be a pervert.
HTH

@pinkboa Have you really never seen naked women in the women's changing room?!

My gym and pool are full of them, I see the people that tend to be there at the same time as me naked so often that it's weird to see them with clothes on! It's definitely more unusual for people to try and keep their towel on then it is to be nude; even in the kids section of the changing room.

I can only see kids seeing different types of bodies as a good thing, nefarious purposes aside, and I think anyone who really didn't want to expose their children to nudity would need to avoid changing rooms.

I'd bet anything that if you start taking your son to the women's, you'll see loads of naked women.

Why can't you/your husband take your child to a standard toilet block? Like most people do.

(And of course YABU - male people can be naked in a male changing room. It's not wrong or anything else that you implied, and nothing bad will happen from a glimpse of a penis, even at close quarters.)

I would never haggle someone coming from a toilet... I'll assume they went in because they needed it.

The disabled person waiting for the loo might not 'haggle' you or 'wag their finger'. They might even assume you needed it. But you/your child didn't because they are not disabled. Meanwhile, the ONLY toilet that some disabled people can physically use is occupied. So they might not be haggling you but they could well be in pain from having to wait, or have humiliatingly soiled themselves because you were selfish.

I hope your playing devils advocate, or the consensus of opinion helps you get over yourself. Try not to pass on your misguidance to your children, and let your DD enjoy the swimming.

Yes your being totally unreasonable. A mans bum in a male changing room is just where it should be.

You on the other hand would of looked completely out of place sitting in a male changing room watching the men get changed.

I'm sure you wouldn't feel comfortable with a man sotting in the ladies changing room watching you get changed.

Definitely a wind up now the 'using disabled toilets' drip feed has come up ... it's for disabled people op as you well know - or sometimes nappy changing if that's the only baby changing facility

Wow - you seem to be remarkably lacking in self awareness, OP. Use of facilities with babies and young children goes with the sex of the adult carer. Surely any fool knows that?

I give people the benefit of the doubt due to understanding about invisible disabilites. But if I found someone non disabled was routinely using disabled facilities, don't worry I'd let them know. (not applicable if it is also a designated baby change area)

To balance the thread (if that's possible) Alan Davies did a routine about not realising quite how much men flash their junk about until he had to take his daughter swimming ... (there then follows a brief demonstration of the poses guys strike blow drying their balls).

Ds used to go to swimming lessons in a school pool. School pools often do not have individual cubciles. Up until the age of 8/9 I took him into the ladies. From the age of 9 onwards (slightly older than normal because of his autism) he used the men's.

Dh often used to go out and about with dd when she was a toddler/small child. Up until she was about 8 years old if she needed the toilet he used to take her into the men's.

Because actual disabled people need the disabled facilities. (I'd have used the disabled toilets for ds if required due to his actual disability)

Wait you were in the men's changing room? I wasn't allowed in there with DP and DD when he would sometimes get her changed for swimming. Why were you in there, DS would he changed in the women's surely if you are the one changing him? He's fine to be naked in there, although parading it about would be weird, but just being naked to get changed is not.

Would it matter if his kids were boys and he was in a male changing room? What if it was a woman with a boy in the womens?
To be honest, Im not sure I could get upset over this, but maybe I should?! I get changed for swimming with my 3 yr old in the womens (no cubicles). I dont really have other choice, but maybe I should do it under a towel? Son doesnt seem to notice one way or the other.

When DD went swimming as a toddler, men were not allowed in the women's changing room, so if DD's dad wanted to get her changed he would have to take her into the men's.

There was only one cubicle, every mum and child got changed in the same room basically, and yes I saw a few breast and bums, so what?

I would find it weird for a dad to get naked in front of loads of other women though... Not in front of their own kid or in the men's where they should be.

The thought of you sat in the Mens, watching that poor man and his hairy arse is making me giggle!
That poor man!

This can't be real....it's one of the most bizarre things I've ever read

You don;t know if someone has an invisible disability. Maybe those who you do have seen using the disabled toilet . You'd never know my dh has Menieres or my ds has autism for example.

Doesn't mean you as a presumable NT parent of a presumably NT child should be allowed to use the disabled toilet.