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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

892 replies

pinkboa · 26/11/2019 22:57

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 27/11/2019 13:11

So there is a corridor. Wait there, or in the ladies. Maybe take a foldup chair with you.

I think the message that you absolutely cannot sit in the blokes and silently pass judgement on them may have already been made.

FrancisCrawford · 27/11/2019 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 13:07

@KidLorneRoll
Exactly so... you enter via the changing rooms. With a short narrow corridor leading towards the pool.

It is small... prams etc. that cant fit in the changing rooms are usually left outside. You park at the top and walk down to the pool area.. which is by a netball court so a trek... and it's either wait poolside, outside or in the changing room.

I am NOT going back outside neither was I walking back to the car. Nope.

@BrendasUmbrella

It's a children's class.. I didn't expect to see what I saw. HTH.

And if I will be honest I can't understand why dads changing their sons in a Male changing room would find it intrusive of a mum doing the same. I have never, until that day seen a dad getting dressed as most men in my sons lesson group don't go in the pool ( & if you read I got the times wrong and was early) . But I get it now.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 12:56

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Oh the horror!

So did he have it surgically removed?

I should request the same from my DH... he never screens it!

@spacepyramid
Read the thread... have a nice day.

@CaptainCaveMum
It's not a bad place to sit, especially in this weather if you sit right under the heater!!!

@FrancisCrawford

Please, give it a rest. Shaddup now! Have you even read this whole thing?! God... 🗣there is no point to be proven here? Ok?

Put away the soap box... the repetition is now making my eyes hurt.

Have a nice day.

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 27/11/2019 12:54

There is no way there is literally nowhere to wait at a swimming pool other than poolside or in the changing rooms. Does the front door lead directly into the changing rooms with no intermediary room or corridor?

BrendasUmbrella · 27/11/2019 12:53

I don't like seeing adults walking around with it all hanging out in the changing rooms but some people are comfortable doing that. If you were in the women's changing room you'd probably have seen someone's muff. I'm just surprised no-one questioned why you were in the men's changing room. If you're going to change in there you can't dictate how the other parents change.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/11/2019 12:46

YANBU OP, any civilised male should erect a special bum screen and willy fence before indulging in these kind of shenanigans.

I was shocked on my wedding night when my DH produced his bum without even asking me to avert my eyes! After some discussion we agreed that it would be best if he had it surgically removed.

FrancisCrawford · 27/11/2019 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 27/11/2019 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainCaveMum · 27/11/2019 12:43

Please, take a break from your own imaginations, thank you.

Yes OP I’ll go have a quiet sit down in the men’s changing rooms shall I?

spacepyramid · 27/11/2019 12:42

@pinkboa I've never had issues with perfume as I use them. But I only brought it up because the humidity in the pool area affects me... hence the reason I didn't stay by the pool and wait.

So why did you choose to go in the changing room for men then?
I cannot see any valid reason at all for a woman to go in the changing room that is for men

Are you transgender?

Olliephaunt4eyes · 27/11/2019 12:41

Poor man! Couldn't win. Went into the men's room to change, found some random woman in there, turned around to try and get changed without flashing his penis at her and gets slagged off for his hairy bum.

OP - YABVVVU. Of course people get naked in single sex changing rooms.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 27/11/2019 12:39

And I've learnt a fair bit
Hopefully that if you go into the men's you can't then complain that they've got their hairy bums out?!

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 12:33

@FrancisCrawford
My idea of use and yours must be very different... because by use I'd mean him doing either a wee or poo. I'd think he took the child to USE the toilet facility...

Once again, it would do you good to read the whole thing.

His bum was hairy... what do you want me to say? I think it's a perfect adjective... where have I gone on and one about this man bottom? Intrusive to use a descriptor? Jesus!

@spacepyramid
I've never had issues with perfume as I use them. But I only brought it up because the humidity in the pool area affects me... hence the reason I didn't stay by the pool and wait.

@Crazycrazylady
Surely you realise you are basically regurgitating what several people have said I have have accepted... surely!

@CaptainCaveMum

Please, take a break from your own imaginations, thank you.

@scubadive
From what I'm reading I'm prudish! Because naked is the accepted norm in changing facilities. Yes it's always empty... why wouldn't I use it 😐.

@GhoulWithADragonTatto
Nah I'm having a laugh myself because people keep piling on without even reading and it's an interesting thing to observe...

I also enjoying the views that the world operate via the mums-net moral compass... very fascinating. And I've learnt a fair bit.

OP posts:
ApexPrey · 27/11/2019 12:30

might just be a clue

I asked if it was Australia and she said no. She said she did live there for a time but isn't from there.

icouldcareless · 27/11/2019 12:28

For all of you puzzling over where the OP could possibly come from, I humbly suggest that her comment stating:

"Btw this is never something we had to contend with because in Australia there are parents rooms everywhere... "

might just be a clue.

ProfessorSlocombe · 27/11/2019 12:18

OP - If I were you I'd get this thread deleted

It used to be the case that MNHQ didn't just pull threads on a whim - even if the OP wanted. It was a point of discussion for a while.

Why bother posting (and trying to help) if a flouncy OP can just get it all pulled ?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/11/2019 12:12

OP - If I were you I'd get this thread deleted. You've breached the most basic of norms. The only surprising thing is that you weren't actually chucked out.

FrancisCrawford · 27/11/2019 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 27/11/2019 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spacepyramid · 27/11/2019 12:05

Well asthma affects people differently doesn't it?

Is your asthma worse in the female changing rooms? (that's not meant to flippant, I know from experience that more perfume/deodorant being used can set off asthma)

Crazycrazylady · 27/11/2019 12:05

Honestly his is outrageous.. imagine if a man went into t he ladies dressing room and complained about seeing a glimpse of a
Woman's breast.
I don't accept you didn't know it wasn't the norm. Surely you realised that you were to only woman in there.
You are totally and utterly bonkers and lucky that you haven't been complained as being some weird perv.

CaptainCaveMum · 27/11/2019 12:01

OMG cross posted with you...your car is a ‘trek’ away.

‘Your honour, I was not spying on the naked gentleman, I was medically required to rest in his presence. I could not return to my vehicle as I had no crampons or rope. I consider his actions of getting changed in a men’s changing room both provocative and inappropriate. It is my right as a mother of a male child to relax in any place I deem fit. And it is unfair I should be forced to see naked body parts. In my country all men cover themselves up at all times especially in single sex areas. I know this because er reasons even though I’ve never been in and my husband is English’

scubadive · 27/11/2019 11:56

Are u kidding, u r objecting to a man getting changed in a mans changing room and you as a woman have gone in there.

If I was him I would complain about you in there, because it was less crowded ??? WTAF

I never go in cubicles, they are hot and cramped and often dirty, people are too prudish in this country but you shouldn’t be in the men’s, ever

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/11/2019 11:56

I am suitably chastened, Rosetti

Grin