We live in a tiny village of around 15 houses, basically a small estate in the middle of a field surrounded by farms. The village has no services, not even a shop. We've lived here since the DC's (now 15 and 12) were a toddler and newborn. The nearest shop is in another larger village 2.4 miles away, which may not seem like far but it's a lot when you don't drive (I suffer chronic pain that makes it difficult to drive). There are times when DH has been at work and I've had to walk an hour there and back into the larger village to get some milk. So 2 hours for a pint of milk. There is technically a bus that goes to the larger village one way and the nearest town the other way, but it's every other hour (and only turns up 50% of the time so more like every few hours) and stops at 4pm.
The DC's go to school in a town 5.4 miles away and it was a nightmare to get them in, we weren't in the catchment area and they didn't believe that they were the closest school. All of the admissions folk hadn't heard of our village. Eventually we got them in. Naturally both kids wanted independence when starting secondary school. We tried to let them both use the bus service in Year 7 but on the several times they tried the bus never turned up. So DH drives them on the way to work which they hate. Because the bus back to the village stops at 4pm (and never turns up in between them finishing school and 4) they have to wait around outside school until 6 each night for DH to get off work and pick them up.
DD starts college next year and it is 7 miles away. Bus again is completely out of the question. I have no idea how we are going to manage it as it's off DH's work route and DS's school route. We've actually had her in tears because she feels her social life is being damaged living here. If it's Saturday evening and all her friends are meeting up in town, she can never attend as DH CBA taking her. Her friends all go to the gym together and she can't go, DH won't take her. Friends eventually stopped asking her. DS is only 12 but he's starting to want to go out but can't. It's also my social life, I can't go to meet friends for a coffee etc and I am very lonely.
I have wanted to move for years, but DH always says no. His reasoning is that it's quiet and safe here, there is no crime. And that being here keeps the DC out of trouble. He also calls it his "Lovely quiet retirement home" (he's late 50s, is retiring in a few years). DD massively resents him for this. We have had many an argument about it. Personally, I think he is selfish. He has his car and can piss off whenever he likes, and he does. He gets to go into a city for work and is always down the pub in the larger village etc. While me and the DC are literally prisoner at home going out of our minds. He says I'm stupid for wanting to move into the nearby town, and that I'll be giving up our "lovely safe home". I think it's ridiculous. The vast majority of people in the UK live in towns/cities/suburbia nowadays and get on fine!
Me and the kids are becoming very lonely and depressed and he doesn't care or doesn't realize. I'm tempted to join a house swapper site (social housing) without his permission, and if we get someone interested then I will pursue it and he can either come with us or piss off. His choice, but either way me and the DC GO. I think I have a good chance of getting a swap, I'm sure the village is desirable to some. I know me and the kids need to leave this village, it's suffocating us. DD has literally been breaking her heart about it, 15 and going stir crazy. It's awful. I feel like we're being kept on DH's bloody compound.
I love DH but the kids come first. I feel they aren't going to thrive here and are lonely, isolated and depressed. As am I. I feel I need to take control here.