To ask what you actually can't do after having children?

Getting up late, lying in, sleeping properly, sleeping, doing anything on the spur of the moment, impromptu break away, getting hammered, catch up binge watching your fave telly that you don't get to watch because your time is not your own, having a long undisturbed candle lit soak in the bath, having a bath alone, using the bathroom alone, eating crap food, cooking all day, having beautiful fragile breakable things, having a house full of plants, going to classes, taking th day off to play the latest game release (which you pre-ordered to arrive day of said release) on you're preferred console, tsking a duvet day, disappearing without telling anybody, being off grid for a few days, staying out all night, getting in the car with passport and a few bits and deciding where you're going when you get there, only having to think for yourself.

Basically, everything changes as you always have to factor them in - even if they're not with you /part of the plan etc. Your life is no longer yours.

And its wonderful. Wish I'd done it way sooner

Can't leave the house without running back in a few times grabbing things you forgot.

*financial.

only thing i can't really do any more is cinema. that will change when my toddler is old enough to sit through a film. she would currently get bored after 10 mins though and find it too dark/loud i think.

i can jump on a trampoline no problem, and i can have as much sleep as i want but my baby is a good sleeper, some people aren't so lucky on that front.

oh i suppose your finanical situation changes too due to childcare.

You can never lie on a sunbed on holiday and read and have a lovely sleep.

You can never have dinner late.

Have a good nights sleep.

Eat out and relax.

I had 4 children and managed to go to the loo on my time most of the time.

I miss being spontaneous.

Being friends with childless people. Understandably, they prefer their own kind, people they can have long, interesting, uninterrupted conversations with.😁

Definitely miss going to the pub on a friday after work (and I'm almost 41 so its going to be a loooonnnnnnggggg time before I get to do this again!)

Miss quiet flights with a G&T - now we've got a 10 month old wriggling all over us, constantly banging the seat in front (we try and stop this but it's hard when there's barely any room!) and having to watch Peppa Pig instead of read a book!

Can't just spontaneously head out for dinner of an evening as bedtime routine starts at 5. We do take him out with us when away but when home we try to stick to routine given we both have to work the next day.

Not being able to go to some restaurants as they won't allow kids - our favourite one in particular.

Things I can't do;

Use an electric tooth brush without wetting myself.
Go to the loo in peace.
Have a lie in.
See the bottom of the washing basket.
Go out of the house in the blink of an eye without 2 bags and a buggy.
As a musician I have had to cut back on the number of commitments I make but I was prepared to do this as I need to work full time.

'I really miss going to the pub after work on a Friday'

@golddustwomen Yes, but you'll be able to do all that again, in your 30s and 40s

I really miss going to the pub after work on a Friday. Sounds silly but I REALLY miss it. That last hour of work sending the email finding out who's going then having a couple of pints and a few cigarettes. Best part of the week.
Doing anything spontaneous.
Nipping to the shop, takes ages to get out the door then tantrum in said shop because one or both of them wants a magazine.
Lazy hungover days with oh.
In fact I miss spending time with my oh in general.
As a few pps have said, you never switch off. Your brain is constantly running through stuff that needs doing, even when your not with your kids.
Going to the toilet in peace. One of them always needs you when you've gone to the loo.
Having long showers, shaving legs, painting nails, blow drying hair in peace. Now I'm constantly breaking up fights and checking the dc aren't causing chaos in the bedrooms.
I have dd5 and ds2. I had my dd at 21. I wouldn't change either of them for the world but I do wish I'd taken advantage of life before kids a lot more.

You can do anything you want to after havj g children it just requires more planning. You either have to arrange for a partner or friend/relative/babysitter etc to watch the kids for you to be able to go do clubs and hobbies. I do all the things I did before just slightly less often because logistically I can't afford the childcare costs on top of some of the club costs as my husband works away a lot so the childcare is all me. But I still do hobbies and clubs and still go out with my friends and dates with my husband occasionally. I still have sex and drink alcohol etc. I even still go on trampolines and do cartwheels in the garden with the kids.

The whole 'having a baby ends your life' thing is a load of crap. I'm always out doing things and my quality of life has improved so much since having him
Really depends on the child doesn’t it? I suppose parenting is fairly easy if your child is NT, but you can’t plan for that. You don’t know what you’ll get.

Honestly, nothing.

I do more now I have a child than I did before. We camp at about 2 or 3 festivals a year and do loads of road trips and days out.
I have done since he was tiny - he's 3 now. He comes everywhere I go and if he can't/I don't want him to, I get a babysitter.

The whole 'having a baby ends your life' thing is a load of crap. I'm always out doing things and my quality of life has improved so much since having him.

Yes, there are harder bits and I'm a single mum but on the whole, I find parenting fairly easy.

Sleep
Drink your tea while it’s hot
Sit and eat lunch to yourself
Pee alone
Actually relax/rest on holiday
Quickly nip to the shops
Bath/shower alone

Relax? I’m tense from the second one of mine wakes up until he finally decides to sleep.

Going on a trampoline without having a wee first

Being care free. Having dcs has been wonderful and for me a really good decision but I have seldom felt care free since they were born. When they were small you are constantly on call and as they get older you will always at some level worry about them - if they are unhappy I find it hard to be happy. Mine are now teens but I'm told this never changes, no matter how old they are.

On the plus side life feels richer and more meaningful not being focussed on myself, dcs help you understand a little about younger generations and they have been loads of fun. In practical terms just be organised.

Have a rational, balanced, informed conversation about school admissions or safeguarding !

Just got my lie ins back and I’ve bought a bloody puppy that wakes me up at 6am!!

Yes they change your life but it’s just different and your priorities change suddenly you are super proud because they’ve done a pee on the potty when previously you wouldn’t have given a toss if a friend had told you that lol. Hard work but worth every second and god does it go by quickly so savour every second!!

Nothing you can't do. Some things a temporarily a bit more difficult but not impossible.

It waxes and wanes.

We went hiking in the alps with a nearly 2 year old. No problem. We're only just thinking about doing it again now the DC are 5 and 7 cos we cant put them in a sling and need to wait for their legs to be strong enough (and they are very fit and active) and for them to enjoy it (they prefer playing in the sea to hiking and looking at beautiful views...)

Ive lost forever the ability to just think about me and my needs. I always need to take into consideration the DC.

Weekend lie ins

Claim to be a virgin!!

It depends on so many things. Your finances, how much of a worrier you are, what your kids are like, how much your body changes.

I’m pregnant again and DD is nearly 12. I’m trying to enjoy long baths and watching a movie without being interrupted or falling asleep through exhaustion.

@Nottalotta
@BusterGonad
Glad to have provided you both with that little insight