To ask what you actually can't do after having children?

Get a good nights sleep!. DS won’t sleep without me so I’m poked and prodded all night

I really miss being able to avoid grocery shopping.

That is my main one. I resent having to constantly order groceries or pop to the shops. I loved having to only organise feeding myself.

Spontaneity is the one thing I miss. I envy friends who can just go for a drink after work because they fancy it, or just go away for a romantic weekend for example.

Everything has to be planned, even just going out to the shops requires military precision for a long time.

Then they get older and it’s much easier

All of these so called sacrifices are 100% worth it. I wouldn’t swap my life for all the money in the world.

I have not RTFT but the things I can't do now that I have children:

• Can't just grab my keys and run to the shops when I need to
• Can't decide to lay in bed as long as I like in the morning
• Can't choose to sit on my sofa all day or stay out all day just because I feel like it
• Can't just take a short break somewhere because I'm free and there are cheap flights
• Can't decide not to cook or not have food at home
• Can't take up any new hobbies or agree to meet up with people at short notice

I feel like people are (mostly) answering an entirely different question to what OP asked. She asked

is there really anything children stop you doing ever again entirely?

But people are mostly answering

what can't you do right now that you'd like to be able to?

People are mostly talking about short or at most medium term things, not things you can't do ever again. Only the psychological (the worry) and the pelvic floor issues are permanent if you have healthy, neurotypical children (not a given by any means, of course). If OP has a baby she might go through a stage where it doesn't feel like she'll ever pee alone again, but the chances of that being true are very low!

Also, so many of these are dependent on circumstance - people keep listing as impossible things that are perfectly possible with a partner who pulls their weight.

Can't be in a room on my own if my daughter is at home, she finds me within 5 minutes 😁😥

Like many others on here I miss my continence!

I am never, ever, ever able to think about "just" me.

I am now part of a package and I need to consider all our needs / wants / preferences.

For me the main things, which have been said before, are

Everything has to be planned, no spontaneous lunches that turn into afternoons out

Weekends are not relaxing anymore. I forgot about the days of watching shit tv, reading books then pottering out for a walk before going to the pub. That doesn't happen anymore and while you might arrange childcare so you can go to the pub you wont arrange it so that you can relax and do nothing.

As you are an organiser i would advIse thinking about childcare in advance. Do you have grandparents locally? Are you in a financial position to pay for a babysitter? If neither of those are true you will be staying in for the next 13 years!!

Bouncing on a trampoline without some underwear protection, go to sleep without worrying about their welfare no matter where you are or how drunk you may be and (unless you have a very good sitter) wild holidays to Vegas or Ibiza etc (places that are very much an 18/21+ culture).

It's been said a few times already but just going to echo the not being able to just "pop" anywhere. There's no "shall we go cinema tonight?" On an evening with my DP anymore.

Not being able to just have some time alone. I'm constantly either at work , with DS or with DS and DP. I hate how few and far between alone time is , but I enjoy my own company so struggle a bit more with that.

But I will say the usual , my DS is so totally worth it and he just makes the most mundane things feel a little bit more special.

General spontaneity!

Walk through your house without finding a raisin/bit of playdoh/sticker/old bean stuck to the bottom of your foot

Before you anything else you need to now factor them in first
You don't get to eat until after you've fed them.
No more lie ins at the weekend, if baby wants a 5am start then that's what's happening!
You won't get to go to the toilet alone anymore.
You'll have less disposable income
No more booking last minute weekends away or city breaks or the likes

But they are oh so worth it 😊

Do stuff with your partner, unless you have lots of family support handy or a nanny.
So you can still have a lie in, go for a long walk at a decent clip over rough ground, swim in the sea, fall asleep in the park on a sunny day, get properly drunk, cook a meal that requires a lot of preparation and co-ordination, go up the stepladder into the attic to rummage through stuff for a camping trip...but only one of you at a time, not together.

Go to the loo alone
Eat anything without sharing it
Wear snot free clothes between September and April
Drink a really hot drink

Leave the house quickly!
In a rush?? Tough luck!

You can’t just pop to the shop if there is no one in to watch the kids.
Or get a lift home from your DP when the babies are in bed.

You can’t just do stuff on a whim

And you absolutely cannot day/admit to anything embarrassing in front of your kids without them telling someone else about it 🤷‍♀️

Even if you get a weekend away from them you spend the whole time wondering what they're doing. It's never going to be just you to think about, because they are there.
Also if you get dcs with additional needs, you may not be able to get a job as they can't be left on their own.
That providing for their additional needs will be your job. That you never are told what a good job you're doing. You feel isolated as most people have no idea what you are going through. That anything you enjoyed before is stupid because you still have a 15 year old who won't wipe his own butt. You worry that he won't survive adulthood on his own and what will happen when you die. You work so hard to make sure that they are okay. But you get shouted at because they don't want to change. You then have to somehow reconcile that your 12 year old is on antidepressants and your 15 year old can't be left on his own as he's not safe. That you're the one who has to sort all this out. So you have no savings, because you pay for psychiatrist fees for two dcs, that you have no life outside your home, no friends as you have no energy for anyone else, no pension because you can't get a job.
I didn't even think for one second that this would be how it is.

Put yourself first without considering how that affects them. Probably for the rest of your life.

Yep

...anything without feeling guilty, or if by some miracle you do manage to, some fucker will come along with an “oooh where’s little Freddie today then?” or “you’re so lucky to be able to leave your little ones with other people, my darling Rupert doesn’t leave my side!” so it doesn’t last.

Things I can no longer do: afford to buy luxury handbags, afford to go on weekends away, go on relaxing holidays, meet up for impromptu coffee dates with friends, wear white, jump on a trampoline, wear anything that clings, wear anything that doesn’t cover my mum tum, wear a bikini, swear in the daytime, drink in the day time, binge watch Netflix during the day, stay awake past 9pm except for the million wake ups, sleep in past 6.30, have morning sex, have loud sex, find the willpower to avoid carbs, keep my career at the level it was. Basically most of the fun stuff I used to enjoy.

Saying that, I do get to do loads of stuff I wouldn’t have tried unless I had children, so that’s a positive! Plus, I get way more hugs now which might sound like gushy shit but they really help my mental health.

I was never having children but now I’m upset because DH doesn’t want a third and I don’t have much time left to change his mind.

You can't be ill.

Get a shower without having a pee in it

Having a clean & tidy house
Having more disposable income
Sleeping in
Being spontaneous, lazy, selfless

My pelvic floor and body are the same as they were pre-children, and I've had 3 🤷‍♀️

I drink more wine now

Wow from this list you'd think everybody is crazy to have a child 🤣 or more than one.

My baby/child slept and still does. Yes they're were patches she didn't illness etc but overall she's a 12 hour sleeper.
Babies are easier to take anywhere than toddlers. Buy ear defenders for weddings etc - works a charm!
I still do sports, jump etc. Maybe wear a pad but not hideous.
We still go on date nights maybe more now as yes there is someone else in our conversations when at home.
Dinner time, I don't share my dinner nor do we alter where we eat out as a family, we eat a wide range of food and it's getting wider. Okay some things she didn't used to like, like bacon but I didn't mind as it's very salty.

I only have one so probably easier which I understand but chose.

Yes it's not easy but normally good things aren't. It's good work like a good marriage.

Okay I talk about poop way more than I like to. She drove me nuts on holiday as she didn't behave as well as she would of at home.