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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

186 replies

EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 18:48

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

OP posts:
Yabbers · 01/06/2019 19:07

I heard my partner say decaf multiple times and the waitress repeated it back to him. I was three cups in before I noticed that the tags on the teabag weren’t the decaf labels and that was the rest of my weekend wiped out

Surely if there was a label you’d check it, given how serious it is?

Minai · 01/06/2019 19:06

Yanbu. Caffeine gives me palpitations and on several occasions I’ve noticed after ordering a decaf that I’ve had them (and don’t get this drinking decaf normally) similarly, but much, much worse my diabetic dad has been given full sugar coke instead of a diet one too.

sittingonacornflake · 01/06/2019 19:02

@lljkk actually you'd be surprised. Pretty much every coffee shop / cafe / restaurant etc round here sells decaf tea.

EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 19:02

I know that WhiteRedRose and as I said, I can handle small amounts. I’ve been avoiding caffeine for 15 years and I know that I’m fine when I have decaf, despite the trace amounts in there.

I’m not talking about people who serve me decaf and then I react anyway. I’m talking about people who deliberately give me caffeine, I guess because they assume that it doesn’t make any difference or it doesn’t matter. I’ve had people swear blind that they made me decaf when I’ve literally just watched them with my own eyes making the espresso from the regular side of the machine (I know what to look out for in most coffee shops now, e.g. in Costa they open an individual sachet and it goes in the purple handle!)

Last weekend we ordered a pot of tea at a National Trust property, I heard my partner say decaf multiple times and the waitress repeated it back to him. I was three cups in before I noticed that the tags on the teabag weren’t the decaf labels and that was the rest of my weekend wiped out Sad

I’m sure it’s a similar story when people ask for sugar free syrup and people assume they’re just watching their weight rather than realising they might have more serious health implications if they unknowingly have too much sugar. My brother worked in a coffee shop where his colleague told him ‘just give her regular’ when they’d run out of sugar free and he was really shocked.

OP posts:
lljkk · 01/06/2019 19:01

I'm a bit sympathetic but tbh, If I was as sensitive as OP, I wouldn't ever chance it when out & about. Herbal teas are nice enough. Also am surprised you find it easy to order decaf tea. I wouldn't expect anyone to sell decaf tea.

I wonder if I would be able to tell it was genuine caffeine from the instant caffeine rush almost as soon as I had a decent drink (how I'm affected).

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 01/06/2019 18:57

We used to offer camp coffee- chicory and decaf coffee essence- made as a latte as a caffine free option, was quite popular.

Marmablade · 01/06/2019 18:57

I'm caffeine sensitive and have all sorts of decaf coffees with no ill effects. Except when someone doesn't actually give me decaf which triggers my symptoms. Like you I absolutely know when I've had caffeine, usually within 5 minutes. Very frustrating.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 01/06/2019 18:56

I have days when caffeine makes me feel bleugh and I wouldn't risk it tbh.

BuffaloCauliflower · 01/06/2019 18:55

There’s still caffeine in decaf, and not all coffee is the same, different roasts, different strengths. I’d bet any money they ARE giving you decaf and it’s just not agreeing with you.

Most of the decaf in the UK has also been chemically decaffinated, making it worse for you and just as likely to give you a headache.

WhiteRedRose · 01/06/2019 18:53

Decaff isnt caffiene free at all OP. It's just lower caffiene.

Decaff in a coffee shop is especially impossibly to quantify as every batch will have different amounts due to the bean quality and extraction processes used.

So YABU tbh. Even different batches of instant coffee from the same manufacturer will have different levels.

Hoping to get it consistent in a coffee shop is, well... Hopeless.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 01/06/2019 18:51

Yanbu.

DH also has a pain condition triggered by caffeine. Most places are really good but it only takes one person mucking up to leave him in pain for a day or two.