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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

186 replies

EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 18:48

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

OP posts:
Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 21:59

I’ve been ordering decaf for 15 years and in that time I’ve got used to the general ‘routine’ that this seems to involve, normally meaning that they open a little sachet of decaf coffee rather than just using the beans that are permanently feeding into the machine. So yes, I can usually sense that something might be up if my coffee comes too quickly. I’m talking about places like costa or Starbucks when they’re making it right there in front of you, obviously if I’m sitting in a cafe I don’t insist on going up behind the counter to breathe down their necks and make sure they do it right!

I’m not hovering but you do get to know what to look out for, in the same way that you’d be suspicious and might query it if you ordered soy milk and saw them pouring your milk out of a Graham’s Dairy jug.

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 01/06/2019 21:58

Its not how you know about the purple handle, its the fact that you use the knowledge as a way to watch them make your drink. A lot of people say "I have a dairy allergy..." or "Im allergic to xxx..." when placing the order. This is so those serving know the seriousness. Why dont you do that? I know you explained the triple checking but before that it did sound like a controlling thing which can put people under pressure while working

Also, the way your wrote you posts made it out like they are deliberately giving you full caffeine which is why people made the jokes about them "poisoning".

Jamhandprints · 01/06/2019 21:57

Yanbu. I'm surprised though, as I only drink decaff because of anxiety and bp and I always watch them make it, and they always open a separate packet (Neros) and usually check back with me "decaff, right?" And I've never had a bad reaction.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 21:54

You even said you know which side of costa machines they use and mention "the purple handle"? I can imagine how frustrating it must be to have a customer hovering over watching you work. Its easy to make a mistake when you have that kind of pressure.

Haha oh come on, I’m not hovering over the barista! I’m waiting at the end of the counter where the coffee machine is, like everyone else. And I know about the purple handle because my friend works in Costa and told me that this is how they make sure they’re always serving decaf when asked. I used that as an example of how it’s sometimes obvious that they have given me the wrong thing (because they should easily be able to tell which they’re serving)

I love how people are determined to make me sound like some kind of caffeine-free dragon who terrorises baristas though.

OP posts:
Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 21:50

MsFenellaFielding if you gave me my coffee while saying ‘decaf latte’ then I would be delighted and I wouldn’t feel the need to double check. Sorry if I made it sound like I would repeatedly question the person serving me, as I explained above that’s not what I mean! Just that if it’s not clear that they’ve understood my request then I would want to clarify.

I’m not a dickhead customer and I’ve served plenty of coffees myself, I just want people to understand that decaf can be a medical requirement and isn’t just someone being fussy!

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GreytExpectations · 01/06/2019 21:47

Op, i honestly dont believe this happens as often as you suggest. You even said you know which side of costa machines they use and mention "the purple handle"? I can imagine how frustrating it must be to have a customer hovering over watching you work. Its easy to make a mistake when you have that kind of pressure.
Apologies but i nor anyone i know with allergy problems seem to have this issue as you do. Again, maybe think about always mentioning an allergy or not asking so much

Widowodiw · 01/06/2019 21:47

Yes I can’t have caffeine as I have the most horrendous headache condition from it. A lot of places don’t have decaf i find.

WhoWants2Know · 01/06/2019 21:46

It may not be just the caffeine that triggers your headaches. Tannins can also be a trigger.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 21:46

stucknoue

That’s really interesting, I also can’t handle pseudoephedrine although I’m fine with codeine!

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MsFenellaFielding · 01/06/2019 21:45

I repeat the order back to the customer. I make the drink and serve it saying the name of the drink. Not on this thread but have read on a different one how irritating doing that is.

Confused
Kittykat93 · 01/06/2019 21:44

Op I totally agree with you.

High levels of caffeine irritate my bladder as I suffer with intistitial cystitis.

If I have a 'normal' coffee I'll be on the loo all day feeling like a flame torch is going up my peepee.Grin

I get so many people including staff at coffee shops rolling their eyes when I say I need to have decaf. But why? Why does it bother anyone else?

YANBU

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 21:43

I’m laughing over here at the idea of baristas deciding to poison me with caffeine after I wouldn’t stop asking them for decaf though Grin

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stucknoue · 01/06/2019 21:42

I'm highly sensitive to caffeine, it basically stays in my body several times longer than is typical (I thought it was my imagination until I saw a documentary on it) I'm also similarly affected by several other drugs like sudophedrine, codeine and several more (taking a cold relief tablet by accident - I was told it was just paracetamol - kept me awake for 3 full days). It's so important for people like me to avoid caffeine especially after midday, I stick to redbush tea these days but just occasionally I have decaf coffee, if it's on your menu get it right

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 21:40

Ok this is getting a bit bunfighty for my liking.

I did not start this thread to suggest that baristas are vindictive or deliberately trying to poison people.

I simply suggested that requests for decaf should be taken as seriously as any other dietary requirement rather than be treated as a personal preference that doesn’t really matter if you accidentally get it wrong.

In the same way that I’d hope you’d be careful to give someone soy instead of dairy if they asked for it, I would love it if servers could hear decaf and think ‘I need to remember that because it might make someone ill.’

And when I say triple checking I obviously don’t mean asking the same question repeatedly for no reason, of course that’s annoying. I mean a conversion along the following lines:

Me: Tall decaf latte please
Barista: Tall latte, anything wise?
Me: Sorry, it was a decaf latte
Barista: Oh right ok, yeah, decaf

Then drink arrives and...

Second Barista: Tall latte?
Me: Is that a decaf latte?
Second Barista: Um....
Me: I asked for decaf
Second Barista: Yeah I think it is
Me: Could you please check?

Etc...

OP posts:
GreytExpectations · 01/06/2019 21:39

On a similar subject, my sister is lactose intolerant and she hardly has a problem with being served dairy when asking for dairy free. She also doesn't feel the need to triple check.

Ginnymweasley · 01/06/2019 21:38

Too much caffeine gives me a headache as well. So I usually order decaf when out (I only drink decaf at home), it really annoys me when they repeat it back to you but still give you normal tea or coffee. Most places do decaff tea bags tbh, I live in a small town in north Wales and most cafes do decaf tea and coffee.

GreytExpectations · 01/06/2019 21:37

I'm guessing that if it does happen on purpose it's probably because you are asking 3-4 times. It really does come across as a bit patronising and treating grown adults like they are children who can't do their job properly

This is what i was thinking. Op, imagine someone micro managing you in your job and asking you multiple times to check something simple? It can make people feel pretty shitty. At times even cause someone to feel anxious which would result in a mistake. It sounds like you should stop patronising adults. Use a one time "I have a serious caffeine allergy so please make sure its decaf"

lljkk · 01/06/2019 21:25

I probably don't go to cafes enough.
That said, I don't see decaf tea on offer when I do go.
I'm not living in the same 'here' as others, I suppose.

Kokapetl · 01/06/2019 21:24

YANBU. There are also people with certain heart problems who really need to avoid caffeine. This kind of carelessness could cause them serious problems.

MsFenellaFielding · 01/06/2019 21:18

Those baristas eh? What a bunch of vindictive bastards.

Lovebeingmama · 01/06/2019 20:45

If they could do their job properly and give people what they asked for...no one would have an issue.

swapsicles · 01/06/2019 20:44

We supply and serve decaff if people ask, the only reason we don't like to is that it takes longer (have an issue with decaff beans currently so having to use instant) and to be honest it's crap coffee, we don't like serving crap coffee!
We would never give normal coffee or deny a special request if asked though.

Ijustdontcare · 01/06/2019 20:29

I'm guessing that if it does happen on purpose it's probably because you are asking 3-4 times. It really does come across as a bit patronising and treating grown adults like they are children who can't do their job properly.

IHeartKingThistle · 01/06/2019 20:15

I only drink decaf tea; caffeine makes me feel sick. Most places are great about it but Starbucks doesn't do it at all!

I always have a stash in my handbag and coat pocket.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 20:10

I don't see why you would risk it?

I guess for the same reason that my lactose intolerant friend orders soy milk or my gluten intolerant friend orders the decaf cookie? Because I assume that they will give me what they advertise?

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