To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

Also, I rarely ever drink coffee and don't like it. If I am forced to have one, with no choice but to drink a coffee, the next time I pee, I can smell coffee from it.
It's so strong! I wonder does this happen everyone, and does the smell get stronger the more coffee you drink?

I have also noticed the speed of it, it would be there 10 minutes after drinking coffee. So the caffiene must be in your system lightening fast.

This seemed like the right place to bring that up.

My friend drinks decaf tea and always has them in her handbag, she brings her own. Do this.

I had to give up coffee away from home, I too need decaf and that's ok with me (sorta) I adore coffee but caffeine gives me migraines. No doubt about it.
I never even knew the purple handle or anything, I just assumed decaf would mean decaf. Apparently not.
So I stopped drinking outside, in Starbucks, Costa or Nero. Sod em. I need to be migraine free. So OP yanbu

The problem is that 9/10 requests for decaf or sugar free syrup or skimmed milk are motivated by a general desire to “be healthy” and no particular harm will be done by lack of compliance. The correct solution is for all food outlets to train all their staff to treat all such requests as potentially health-critical and to treat them all as if non-compliance might land you in a Pulp Fiction situation.

In the meantime the answer for the OP is to flag up - “decaff - I have a serious reaction to caffeine btw so please do double check”. Tedious but should do the job.

I only get a latte maybe once every few weeks as a treat but might have to give that up sad

Come on now, you are being a bit dramatic constantly saying you will have to give it up. Ive said already multiple times just tell them the reason as that seems to work for a lot of people i know.

or do you just feel confident that you’ll get soy because that’s what you’ve asked for?

This is the case for me, i just say "soya latte" or "almond milk latte" and its right.

Because I would just really be able to ask for decaf and know I’ll get decaf. But that just isn’t remotely guaranteed

Of course itd be perfect to just say decaff but it appears to not be working for you so try stating due to an allergy and see how that works. I think asking multiple times, triple checking and watching them make it isnt the right approach whereas stating the reason would work better and be less time wasted

I had a housemate 30 yrs ago who was gluten & dairy intolerant. She often reacted badly to fast food she had ordered, presumably from X-contamination. Yet she kept habit of ordering fast food when out & about rather than take her own food to be sure her food was safe. Or she could have bought safe things in supermarkets (we lived in big city with diverse food choices everywhere).

Her risk to take. Didn't look like fun.
Her problems after eating out were so frequent I didn't feel sympathy after a while. She could have planned better to reduce the risk.

Definitely not being unreasonable! I'm really feeling this right now, I've got a heart condition and stopped drinking caffeine nearly 10 years ago when I was diagnosed. I had a 'decaf' coffee around 6pm today which definitely wasn't decaf, I'm still having palpitations on and off now. It's annoying because I do like coffee. I think most of the time it's done accidentally by someone making a regular coffee on autopilot, rather than that they can't be bothered or have run out of decaf or whatever. But it's like accidentally giving somebody with a nut allergy something with nuts in, it can have severe health consequences for some people. I don't think you'd say somebody with a nut allergy was being unreasonable for taking a risk and eating out, and should just never eat out. Requests for decaf should be treated as seriously as requests for food without nuts (or whatever allergen) in.

at the poster who said that herbal teas are as nice as regular coffee or tea. Er, no they're not, they're on a different planet, and they're not even tea.

It may be easier to switch to anothe beverage that can't be confused.

Herbal tea maybe? I can't drink too much caffeine, it cuts confusion altogether by ordering a peppermint or fruit tea.

YANBU. I love coffee, love the flavour, but get very jittery and upset stomach from too much. And it affects my sleep. But I still drink it and decaf is a treat. I also find some cafes better than others at taking care with what they’re serving. I can usually tell within 5 minutes if they haven’t given me the decaf I’ve asked for by which time it’s too late.

So which cafes/chains are the best at honouring decaf orders?

I wonder where you are in the U.K. OP? I live in London and 8 or 9 years ago this was a definite issue for me. Once in a while I’d be given caffeinated instead of decaf and I’d be shaking and stuttering within an hour. Thankfully over the years it has got much better and I cannot remember the last time it happened.

So the op is being accused of being controlling because she watches to make sure that they don't make an error that clearly is being made? and in doing that forces them to make an error?
That's ridiculous.

Caffeine makes me poorly too and I often have to correct orders that don't get passed on properly.

realise that it can come from a medical need, that’s all

I think it's patronising to assume people dont realise a dietary choice could come from a medical need. But as i said before, just say that you have an allergy so they definitely realise it because of medical purposes.

might query it if you ordered soy milk and saw them pouring your milk out of a Graham’s Dairy jug

Honestly, ive been drinking soy/almond or other dairy free in my lattes for last 3 years and my sister for much longer and never had a instance where they didnt give me what i ordered. It just seems like you must be having bad luck to constantly be getting the wrong drink- specially at places like Costas and Starbuck as they have a lot of options.