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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

186 replies

EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 18:48

Ok before anyone says it, I know I could just not drink tea/coffee at all, and most of the time I don’t, but I love the taste and occasionally I really fancy a cup. And decaf exists for a reason right?

I’ve never been able to handle caffeine and it started giving me terrible headaches and migraines in my early twenties, so I gave it up for good. I can handle the small amounts in chocolate but have to be careful not to have too much (really dark chocolate especially can trigger something if I have more than a square or two) but tea/coffee/coke/Red Bull etc are completely out.

Anyway, on several occasions recently I’ve found myself ordering a decaf tea or coffee, triple checking with the person serving that it’s definitely decaf (usually getting an eye roll for doing so) and then winding up with a thumping headache an hour later anyway.

I was especially annoyed today because we ordered from a place that’s meant to be particularly good on allergens etc, and yet my ‘decaf’ coffee definitely wasn’t.

If you work in any kind of food service, AIBU to ask that you actually give someone decaf if they ask for it?!

OP posts:
Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:42

Yes BackOnceAgain that’s been covered several times Grin this is why I don’t say it’s a caffeine ‘allergy’ (which it isn’t anyway) because I don’t want to get into an argument with the barista about how decaf still has some caffeine etc. I know what my body can tolerate. A decaf latte, a hot chocolate or a bar of Galaxy = fine. A regular latte or a big bar of 70% Green and Blacks = excruciating headache, nausea and palpitations!

OP posts:
Wannabeyorkshirelass · 01/06/2019 23:42

I also avoid caffeine (due to anxiety) and I find that if I have it now it has an even stronger effect on me as my system is just not used to it (haven't had any for about 15 years).

But I don't order decaf as I don't trust them to get it right. I have mint or camomile. It's surely not worth it just for the taste? You can have decaf at home for the odd treat if you really want (I personally don't as I find even that can have an effect).

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:37

I mentioned this to a friend who waitresses and she said two of the places she worked at didn’t even stock decaf but claimed to and just gave normal coffee and tea.

Bloody hell! Shock that is my worst fear realised!

OP posts:
Redpostbox · 01/06/2019 23:35

I feel your pain OP. My daughter has Coeliac disease and eating out anywhere is a nightmare.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:35

Lynsey yes there will be a small amount as they can’t remove all of it but it’s little enough that it doesn’t trigger anything with me.

Green tea, on the other hand... a lot of people argue with me when I tell them green tea has caffeine in it. Several times I’ve asked if someone has any herbal tea and they’ve offered me green tea and then we have to have this whole back-and-forth about it where I explain that yes, it does still contain caffeine!

OP posts:
BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 01/06/2019 23:35

It’s decaff though, not no caff. There’s still caffeine in decaf. Just a small(er) amount.

CherryValance · 01/06/2019 23:34

I get it OP, I'm the same and have been caffeined by cafes a few times. I get heart palpitations, banging head and end up on the loo within an hour, along with what feels like an anxiety attack. It's really obvious that it's proper coffee that's done it, not just slightly more caffeinated decaf. I don't think people understand how nasty it can be. It's not just not being able to sleep a little bit later than usual.

PickAChew · 01/06/2019 23:34

decaff isn't on the menu in many places, though. I don't order where they don't see it as an important option. I don't order any coffee in Costa or Starbucks, though, even if I fancy an extra coffee in my day, as their coffee is universally shit.

Though what has pissed me off is that my default, bland, hot drink, Chamomile tea, suddenly became unavailable absolutely everywhere, about 3 or 4 years ago. Plenty of peppermint but that gives me excruciating heartburn.

Stiffasaboard · 01/06/2019 23:34

I hate this too it drives me mad

I always used to ask at the end of a meal if they serve decaf and double check. I offer to have a mint tea if they don’t so they still get a sale- absolutely no reason to lie to me.

Yet about 1 in 5 occasions I would
be awake all night buzzing clearly having had a caffeinated coffee.

I mentioned this to a friend who waitresses and she said two of the places she worked at didn’t even stock decaf but claimed to and just gave normal coffee and tea. I was completely shocked tbh.
I haven’t ordered decaf since.

And as for costa etc and the sugar free syrups- I always have skinny milk and SF syrup and watch them really closely. I’d say I have to correct them about half the time as they either forget or don’t care and use the wrong type of either. Drives me mad.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:32

3luckystars I just did some googling and ‘puffed wheat’ making your pee smell like coffee is apparently thing! Who knew?! Is it wrong that I kind of want to get some sugar puffs now?

sam221 I love my travel mug but hate drinking herbal tea from it! I think because it’s basically just boiling water and it stays far too hot. Hot chocolate is great in it though.

OP posts:
Lynseyhaslett27 · 01/06/2019 23:27

I work in a coffee shop and we sell decaf tea separate packages, a customet asked me the other day 2 check see if there is caffeine i. It. I thought 2 myself obv not if its called decaf, but Yes there id CAFFEINE in decaf tea.

sam221 · 01/06/2019 23:26

I am highly sensitive to caffeine and even the slightest amount affects me greatly-think no sleep for over 24hrs and quite highly active(same reason why I don't consume any soft drinks either)
I do normally try to keep a few individual sachets in the bag of tea/coffee. I normally find the coffee shops to be quite on the ball when I ask for decaf.
I would say do carry some with you and invest in a really good travel mug-great for the environment and simpler for you in the long run.

3luckystars · 01/06/2019 23:26

My husband can't smell coffee in his pee either. I haven't asked anyone else.

Years ago I asked a few people about the sugarpuffs and a few admitted the same thing.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:24

I don’t understand your point PickAChew? If decaf is on the menu then presumably you expect to get it when you do order it?

Also, to me a daily coffee plus another tea/coffee/coke is not ‘very little caffeine’ as it sounds like loads to me but that’s as someone who doesn’t drink any. I know there are people out there who have cups of coffee by the hour though which kinda gives me a headache just thinking about it!

OP posts:
PickAChew · 01/06/2019 23:20

And fucksake, if you're diabetic or otherwise needing sugar free syrup, you don't order drinks with syrup in!

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:19

I have been drinking coffee for almost 15 years and i like it strong and ive never had my pee smell of coffee

My partner can’t smell it either and he has coffee every day. Maybe it either goes away or you stop being able to notice it if you drink it for a while?

OP posts:
Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:18

GreytExpectations

Apologies, I thought it was fairly obvious I was kidding. I don’t actually think baristas want to kill me either.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 01/06/2019 23:18

I drink very little caffeine, due to being a chronic insomniac - mostly just my breakfast coffee and maybe one other drink per day, whether that's tea, coffee, or coke. If decaff isn't on the menu, I order something else.

GreytExpectations · 01/06/2019 23:17

I will try ‘DE-CAFF-EIN-ATED’ next time,

Please dont do this. Its rude and patronising. They are adults doing their jobs, no need for you to treat them like a child.

GreytExpectations · 01/06/2019 23:15

I have been drinking coffee for almost 15 years and i like it strong and ive never had my pee smell of coffee Confused

Willow2017 · 01/06/2019 23:11

I work in an idependant small cafe and we have decaf ground coffee and tea. No problem making either of them.
If someone cant be bothered then they are in the wrong job.

If you see them doing it on purpose out of laziness op complain every time. They give the rest of us a bad name.

Original poster
EveryDayImHustlin · 01/06/2019 23:06

3luckystars yes I get the coffee smell in my pee too, even with decaf! Can’t say I’ve noticed it with sugar puffs though but the last time I had those was about 25 years ago.

Morris interesting that you’ve found it better in the US, that was definitely my experience too. Plus you can put cream in your coffee there which is the best! When I worked in the US my office always had a pot of filter coffee (with an orange handle of course) and a supply of half-and-half in the fridge and I bloody loved it.

I will try ‘DE-CAFF-EIN-ATED’ next time, thanks for the tip! It will either do the trick or piss the barista off so much that they’ll put whole coffee beans in my drink to kill me once and for all...

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 01/06/2019 22:59

Yanbu at all. I'm really sensitive to caffeine and a coffee at lunchtime will stop me sleeping that night. It'll also make me react as if I've had a line of coke at work, talking quickly and making loads of typing errors.

Starbucks are 100% reliable, nobody else is. Pret have let me down recently. My top tip is to say decaffeinated instead of decaff. Really enunciate it, and listen as the server shouts the order to the barista.

Americans do this so much better. They have reliable decaff absolutely everywhere, and giving you caffeine against your wishes would horrify serving staff.

But in the UK so many people just think well decaff smells and tastes like ordinary coffee so it's no big deal.

I never order 'decaff' in restaurants because it never is. Reliable coffee chains only, and I watch them making it.

LizzieSiddal · 01/06/2019 22:59

Baristas often do NOT listen to orders.
I always ask for a black, decaf coffee. 50% of the time they will either start adding milk, ask me if I want milk or if it’s waiter service, bring a jug of milk over to the table.

So forgive me if I then check that the coffee is actually decaf, because if you can’t get the milk right, then I don’t trust you to get the coffee right.

Caffeine gives me heart palpitations, so no, I don’t want it in my drink and after reading this thread, and the attitude of some of those serving coffee, I think I’ll stop going into coffee shops.

3luckystars · 01/06/2019 22:58

(The same happens with sugarpuffs)