To ask those in food service to please take requests for decaf seriously?

Yip I'm still angry six years later! If I asked for a ham toastie but received a cheese one because the cheese was nearer and everyone knows that ham toasties are shit anyway I'd be dumbfounded.

But asking for the advertised decaff option and expecting to be given it is the act of an attention seeker who should stick to peppermint tea, fookin hell mate.

I will say though that things have improved in two ways since 2019. Firstly, huge advances in recognising needs and preferences in the catering, and secondly I'm now post menopausal and could no longer give a teeny toss if the server or barista think I'm a dick for double and triple checking. Set yourselves free!

I know I'm 6 years late to the party. But I'm going to put this anyway. If you ask for decaf, it should be decaf! All the people in here making excuses really annoys me, because they wouldn't give peanuts to someone with a peanut allergy! Caffeine affects my heart and makes me really poorly if I have too much of it, but I like my tea and coffee, I'm not going to give it up because people cba to follow the rules. But unfortunately, alot of people don't really care, so unfortunately you just have to triple check. 🥲 I avoid having it most of the time when I'm out now and opt for camomile tea, unless I really trust the place.

Because they are selling teas, coffees etc and whether or not they offer decaff or take people's attention-seeking allergies seriously

Brilliant, that sort of attitude leads to hospitalisation or even death to some people. Thanks for that.

As someone who could die if people didn’t take my non attention seeking allergies seriously, or make my kids seriously ill, this really makes me angry. I hate being an awkward customer and avoid consuming food out and about where possible but it’s still ridiculous to suggest people shouldn’t be able to get what they order if you sell it. Maybe companies should realise this, rather than bitching when a customer feels they have to bring their own (and under those circumstances I would pay for a tea but just ask for hot water)

I don't think OP is being unreasonable to expect a decaf if it is being offered? If they sell decaf then they should be serving it when asked.

I'm gluten free so I get the "just don't eat out then" thing but life really isn't that simple.

The 'bring your own' advice is nonsense, because most places will politely tell you to fuck off, and that's perfectly reasonable. Because they are selling teas, coffees etc and whether or not they offer decaff or take people's attention-seeking allergies seriously, they are under no obligation to provide free hot water and seating space for 'customers' who might have allergies or sensitivities but might be trying it on to save money.

I used to work in Sainsbury's cafe, would regularly have orders for decaf tea and coffee. We had decaf teabags from shop floor so that would just go straight in a teapot and with the decaf coffee pods, we'd use a separate pod holder (it has a name, can't remember) and had a specific bit on coffee machine for just decaf. I hope that eliminates enough traces of it. Completely shocked and baffled by coffee shops just not giving decaf, it's so bizarre! It's so easy to do too, a decaf is much quicker than grinding beans, dispensing them, pressing them etc.

Years ago when I stopped drinking caffeine I could taste the difference between decaf and caf coffee because decaf was so inferior. I still drank decaf but took the taste hit for my health (shakes, IBS etc). These days decaf tastes much much better so it's harder for me to tell if I get it misserved.

OP I agree, why the bloody hell should we stop drinking decaf out the house just because sometimes servers don't listen? Surely that's victim blaming? Maybe servers should take it more seriously as you suggest.

Not sure if it's been suggested but why not just keep a stash of decaff tea bags in your handbag?
Then you're guaranteed, plus you get to choose the brand.

No solution for coffee tho

Somebody we know, who ran a pub, was severely punished for selling out-of-date food. When we heard, we assumed it must have been meat or dairy or similar - but it turned out it was just packets of crisps. Not defending them for that, but it's hardly a public health risk in the same way.

That's nonsense as crisps have best before dates on them and it isn't illegal to sell them past that date. Only use by dates can lead to action.

Yes, it seemed odd to me. Maybe they weren't telling the whole story - wouldn't have been the first time....

I don’t think yabu. It’s usually not difficult to give a customer what they ordered and if it is said people should give the reasons why especially when serving food and drink. No one should have to lie and claim an allergy to get what they ordered.

If it makes you feel better taking the risk getting on a high horse

How ridiculous!

It's not unreasonable to be served exactly what you asked for ffs!
It doesn't matter what it is if the premises state they serve x or y then that's what you should get. It's not up to staff to decide you dont need it or deserve it. Their job is to serve you what you asked for.

Op knows exactly what she can tolerate, nobody else gets to tell her she shouldn't enjoy a cup of decaf whenever she wants to. Its not their body not thier life.

Sometimes mn is even more ridiculous than usual why would any body think op is being unreasonable?

I can't drink caffeine, it gives me tachycardia, so YANBU about ordering decaf as far as I'm concerned. But I'm surprised you've had so many problems getting it. I don't think I've ever been given caffeinated coffee carelessly (i.e. because they took the order but then couldn't be bothered to fulfil it) - only accidentally, e.g. mine and my partner's cups got swapped on the tray. I've never, ever had anyone roll their eyes at a request for decaf - why would they??

But I would know my coffee was caffeinated in error from the first sip, so tbh I feel YAB a bit U to post a whole thread about it if you can get to the third cup and still have to check the label to know you've been missold.

OP is not unreasonable.

It could be also noted that some people don't have caffeine for religious reasons.

You are taking a risk.
That is factual statement not a judgement.
You're a grown up. You can take a risk. Your privilege.

If it makes you feel better taking the risk getting on a high horse, or thinking this thread can influence anything at all ever in the world... then knock yourself out. You're allowed to hope that.

I'm allowed to say it's an unrealistic hope.

Somebody we know, who ran a pub, was severely punished for selling out-of-date food. When we heard, we assumed it must have been meat or dairy or similar - but it turned out it was just packets of crisps. Not defending them for that, but it's hardly a public health risk in the same way.

That's nonsense as crisps have best before dates on them and it isn't illegal to sell them past that date. Only use by dates can lead to action.

Yeah decaf tastes more metallic than full fat. Smells a bit different too, but still smells like coffee. All this talk of coffee means I am craving one now. (Shakes fist in menacing way)

"whacked with a huge fine, closed down or both"

What would be the punishment mechanism? Genuine question. Mis-Advertising, maybe?

I'd start with Trading Standards.

Granted, nobody with a severe allergy to caffeine (is there such a thing? I'm guessing probably) or, say, a Mormon, whose religious beliefs dictate no caffeine, would be ordering Decaff, as it's obviously much less caffeine rather than no caffeine at all.

Considering how seriously pubs who understate the ABV of their beers are punished; and it's not just the risk of drink-driving as punishments are also meted out for the opposite - if they don't serve a full pint (within acceptable tolerances), without clearly offering a top-up once the head has subsided.

'Somebody we know, who ran a pub, was severely punished for selling out-of-date food. When we heard, we assumed it must have been meat or dairy or similar - but it turned out it was just packets of crisps. Not defending them for that, but it's hardly a public health risk in the same way.

Even without involving the authorities, once word gets out that a cafe deliberately doesn't bother to serve what they claim and pass-off different products, customer confidence and trade is likely to severely drop off anyway, I'd have thought.

The point about my friend and the nuts was that they didn’t even apologise or admit a mistake, just said that it was up to her to check before ordering. In which case why mention any allergens on the menu at all? That seems like a recipe (no pun intended!) for disaster.
On our menu we state that certain things can be gf, or contain nuts for example, but still say you should inform staff of any allergies or intolerance. That's because of the cross contamination risk mainly. If someone ordered a dessert that was nut free, and didn't say they were an allergy sufferer, it could have been stored near, or prepared in the same area as nuts, so there's a risk. Once informed we can take steps to ensure that food is prepared well away from anywhere that it may get contaminated. That's why you should say, even if something doesn't contain nuts (just an example) it may have been near something that does, and staff not in the know can't take the extra precautions needed.

As with most Mumsnet threads this has descended into to splitting hairs now, but overall no one has really convinced me that IABU to ask serving staff to honour requests for decaf!
I agree that I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for and get decaff where it's offered, and I don't understand the attitude that making a decaff is harder, or a faff. If you order decaff then regardless of why, that's what you should get.

EveryDayImHustlin that makes sense i suppose. I wouldnt know as never have decaff. I tend to have almond milk in lattes though just because i like it and have never not been given what I orderesd. Same goes with skim milk. I think its a bit judgmental for those pp to moan about people who orderee something when they dont have an allergy. Why does that matter? If its offered on a menu than nothing wrong with ordering it!