to be fed up with looking after friends daughter

defo not yanbu!

I mean a couple of times because she's realy stuck I could understand but she's using you as an unpaid childminder!

She should be ashamed especially being a HV and knowing you've got a little baby!

Nobody wants to pay for childcare, I know I don't but I have no choice so bite the bullet. And so should she

I felt guilty asking a friend to pick up dd from school and take her to gymnastics because I got stuck in a meeting! And that was a one off!!!

YANBU -far from it you have helped her out tremendously already but no way should you even be considering having her dd to look after all summer.

You have a 4week old baby and he'll only be a baby for a matter of months. You'll be so stretched looking after two other children also.

She needs to get her childcare sorted out permanently and the sooner she has done this the sooner she and her dd can settle into their new way of life.

IMHO, you will be doing her a favour in the long run if you can be strong now and say no. I'm surprised at how thoughtless she is being despite her split with her dh being on her mind.

She's not really a friend if she's taking advantage like this is she? Can't see what you are getting out of the relationship...

She should be having your ds to play not the other way around!

She should know it is illegal to look after a child for in your own home for reward, which is probably why she dosnt want to pay you (as well as the cost). Tell her to go and find a CM, you have enough on your plate.

I agree with what everyone else has said. Tell her eff off!! Cheeky bint!!!

Your friend sounds like she is having trouble coping. The trouble is if she keeps leaning on you excessively then you will have trouble coping too.
Her life and problems aren't more important than yours.
Tell her enough is enough

And your older ds will feel very put out. First of all he gets a new brother and then a whingy girl arrives on the scene. Poor thing.

You need your rest and to concentrate on your children. TBH this is something you may fall out with her over but your children and your well being are far more important.

Please tell me that she is not your HV!

I do agree that this is unfair on you, but I wonder if you friend is just not able to look at things from your point of view - if she's only just split from her h, then I guess she's very preoccupied, and that can give you a certain amount of tunnel vision. How about having her over for coffee, and chatting it all through in a relaxed way, but stressing that you can't do this much childminding - she's probably not even thinking about it.

Tell her your gp has ordered as much rest as possible due to exhaustion (not unusual with a toddler and a newborn), so you will not be able to have her dd anymore.

How old is the child anyway?

I don't think she is being much of a friend.

Good God. She is expecting FAR too much from you. You should be concentrating on your new family. You are having to adapt with a newborn, you have enough on your plate. Your friend should know that. You are not being unreasonable if you say no to her.

I think she is being unreasonable esp as you have 4 week old and to not pay or even offer you something as good will is terrible.
I'd say NO until you agree something.

agree.. if she doesn;t understand why this is unreasonable, tehn she is not a good friend

she needs to pay for child care or at the very very least ,give you reciprocal help

You've got a four week old - that's enough to cope with and definitely enough for your older son to cope with. He shouldn't have to put up with a whingy girl too!

Yep! She needs a poke in the eye with a bony finger.

I know what my health visitor would say if she knew I was childminding after having a newborn (not that I usually take any notice of her, but that's another story...) ditto what everyone else says, and even if you are coping now you will look back and regret looking after this child, especially if she is unpleasant. All the best

Im amazed that a HV would dump thier child on a woman who has a 4 week old baby.

How does she get to and from school? do you hav eto take her also?

She should know (?) then how hard things are for you.
Why cant her ex help out? Still the kids father.

In that case, should most definitely should know better - she's taken advantage of you, tell her to stick it!

Jools - I think you mean hadn't That's exactly what I was going to say!

No, you are being a doormat. Let your friend make other arrangements. She has imposed upon you for too long. Just tell her it is not convenient to have her dd, and get your dh/p to back you up if necessary. You have just had a baby yourself, you need some peace and quiet and time to bond with your baby and get over the birth. This time with your baby will not come again, and also it is not fair on your older child either. Enough is enough.

hadn't just had