to think a mum at school shouldn't tell another little child in yr3

"I am surprised that some of you think it is OK for an an adult to threaten a child of 8.

I wonder where they learn from "

Well, first of all, nobody has said here that it was OK for an adult to do that (or use those words), but if you are implying some bullying children get the idea from people like us who are wondering what the child did... you may get surprised, have you ever wondered how many mums had to cope with bullying during childhood themselves?

Perhaps that's why some of us are asking you to double check what the child did.

if my dd was coming home in tears every night and refused to go to school because she was being bullied, i would try speaking to the teacher and then the parent, however, if nothing was achieved through this i can not guarentee(sp) that i wouldn't have a quick word with the child, sorry, but mothers are instinctively protective over their children and some parents do reach the end of their tether when dc's are being bullied.

i can't comment on this situation as i don't know the facts, but i do not agree that an 8 yo is frightened of a another childs parent.

haven't seen anybody condone the mother's actions on this thread .. I think you're reading that out of nowhere ... but I do think that you don't know the full picture and probably can't categorically say 'the girl is nice' because its different when you're 8 and there's no adults watching

Agree with Bubble.

Even the most level headed of parents can become irrational if their child is being bullied and the school is doing nothing about it. I think you have to keep an open mind - perhaps there is bullying, perhaps the school has been dragging it's heels, and perhaps the parent's last resort was to speak very harshly to the 8 year old.

Sadly, wishywotz, most 'Bullying Policies' aren't worth the paper they're written on.

The problem is that schools are usually over-ruled at the final point of the procedure ie. exclusion.

I have known two sane and sensible parents who have been driven to distraction by the bullying their children have received at school, and the school's apparent inability to address it.

Interestingly, both of the bullies were grade A high-achieving children who were popular with teachers and this was most of the problem.

I am not condoning an adult threatening a child, of course not.

BUT

I would just advise you to be aware that 'lovely' children often aren't away from adult view. And a parent's first instinct is to protect their child.

surely better to get the school to deal with any problems or talk to the parents.
When ds was picked on by a yr6 when he was in yr 1 I approached the mum. i knew ds was inocent but we stopped it. wouldn't have had a go at the child.

A lot of 'lovely' children also identify the child with a short fuse and target them as they know that the short-fused child will usually get the blame.

It sounds like an awful thing to do...but there must be more to it?

Hmmm. While I don't agree with the words 'get you,' I'd need to kmow the details of what went on between these two children.....

I agree with other posters who have said that while a child may be 'lovely' to adult eyes, they can often be the opposite to their peers.

what ever the argument between the 2 girls. no excuse for a grown up to threaten a child like that. what a bully.

I have spoken to a child in my ds class who bullied him mercilessly for 2 terms. When he punched my ds in the stomach in front of me I went up and asked him not to do it again or there would be trouble sometimes you have to intervene the school and mother were doing nothing

I have had stern words with a 9yo boy in the past, when school failed miserably in dealing with the fact that he was making life totally miserable for my 6yo child.

It was not ideal - but I was not prepared for it to continue, and we had tried to official route via school, and nothing had changed.

Agree about children being different. DS's lovely best friend is rarely being invited to parties... we have been told on ocassion by other parents at said parties that he bullies their child. So who knows?

some kids are totally different in school. sounds li8ke 'horrid mum' was at end of tether if you ask me with bullying.

unfortunately it is difficult to know for a 'fact' what a child is really like with his / her peers

It sounds like the school is dealing with it though, I'd try to avoid getting involved if it were me .. you may never get to the heart of the matter

I may have crossposted, there was no single post other than the OP when I started writing mine. Apologies if so!

Why did she not want her to talk to her???? Is she horrid at other times? Is her child horrid?