Attractive women on TV

• her
• sex

I would be exactly the same, OP.

• why would

No, did at the beginning of the relationship but grew up, got secure etc.

When I discovered my partner had googled Evangeline Lilly, having just watched hobbit I think, my reaction - genuinely - was amused indulgence.
His is the same to my mini actor/model crushes.

Your ex sounds like a right c*ntb- whyndied anyone need to say that to someone else (on top of cheating on them in the first place) other than to be cruel and nasty.

Also so what, his opinion is that she had a better body, another man's might not be .. men have incredibly different tastes.

Plus body/looks are far from the only thing in relationships. I frequent a male dominated, quite shallow fitness forum and they even say on there quite regularly that a woman they're seeing/have seen has everything looks wise but they can't make s relationship with with her, have no bond with her, will dump he'd when they get bored with the sec etc.

No, they are different from me, but that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with me. I am who I am, and I'm quite content with myself.

Sometimes. But then I give myself a good talking to.

I know I used to have self esteem issues and body image issues. I still sometimes slip into those modes. I work hard to fight those negative thoughts off and remind myself, I am beautiful as I am.

Comparing myself to people who constantly have a make up team on hand for every scene/people who have been airbrushed/people who have personal trainers and dieticians to do all the thinking for them would lead me down a path to very dark thoughts.

You are completely different from those people on screen. Celebrate your unique-ness. And find surround yourself with people who do so too.

No, not at all and I’m not at all a looker.

I quite often say something like ‘DH - look - X is in this, she’s one of your women, isn’t she? She’s got gorgeous Y’ etc and he’ll do the same.

Your ex was a dick to say that: don’t give weight to one cheating scumbag’s bullshit put down!

Actors often get roles because they’re much more attractive than average, or unconventionally attractive, have lots of charisma, or whatever. Most people in RL are much more ordinary!

I know some conventionally gorgeous women in RL, their life isn’t a bed of roses any more than the rest of us. Don’t know any v beautiful men though!

OP you need to work on your self esteem, more importantly put yourself in his shoes, he must hold his breath watching a movie.
I am not judging I use to be insecure early in my relationship.
It made DP feel shit, it was silly looking back.
Take up something you really enjoy it will build your confidence.
Remember nobody's perfect, everyone has their issues and insecurities.

@Ellabella989 I just try to gently figure out how I feel and and try to work with that. Zen-type teachings have helped me get a good perspective on dealing with thoughts/feelings, even though I'm not Buddhist.

For me personally I need to focus on my worth coming from a wide range of things. So if someone looks great it's ok, because my worth is intact, it doesn't take away anything from me, we are multi-dimensional people can co-exist without one ever being 'better' than the other.

The women who trigger your insecurities are probably showing you what you feel you lack. See if you can find that in yourself after all.

Just try not to judge yourself as you're only human and doing so will make you less likely to process the feelings. We all have feelings we don't like.

Was on a beach holiday recently, in a resort that had a strangely high percentage of fake boobs, lips and bums - my DH and I had great fun with spotting these VERY obvious additions, especially the bums which we hadn’t seen many off before (outside of kardashian Kulture).

Both noted though that the Beautiful People were so much more aware of sunbed posing etc, and never looked properly relaxed. I’m a size 14 with plenty of wobbly bits and his tummy threatened to block the sun on a couple of occasions, but we were giggling and having fun all holiday - whilst there were plenty of boobs there in much better nick than mine, I wouldn’t have swapped places for all the silicone in Moscow

It used to bother me early in the relationship, I had been cheated in many times in the past, it doesn't bother me anymore.
I am 38, a bonus to getting old is caring less.

Up til my mid twenties I was incredibly insecure about my body and would feel bitterly envious of any woman on TV who atttracted admiring comments (not from my partners, none of whom ever put their foot in their mouths that way.) But if a woman was portrayed walking into a bar, for instance, and all the men in there turned and gawped at her, I would feel so stabby.

Nowadays I'm much more secure and exes and I have talked openly about finding other people attractive without there being any issues at all.

I've been cheated on lots btw so it's not an inevitable result of that. I do think counselling would help you - you wouldn't go in there saying "I need help to get over my hatred and envy of attractive women" - you'd be saying "I have a lot of insecurities about my body and I need help changing that."

So. A woman who you think is more attractive than you, has the the audacity to go on holiday at the same resort as you. She also has the bare faced cheek (pun intended) to show off her amazing body by wearing a barely there bikini. Not only that, but she is brazen enough to actually walk past you on the beach. The Bitch.

And somehow, your husband must be made to pay for all this. It's obviously his fault and he must be blamed for your insecurity.

Where are attractive women supposed to go on holiday?

The irony and double standards are lost on some people.

"My husband is married to me and is a pervert if he so much as looks at another attractive women. I on the other hand, as his wife, can stare at whoever I want, regardless of their innate hotness, and then blame him for making me feel bad"

No wonder men don't want to get married these days.

No, it doesn't bother me. I'm not sure why, because I'm not generally super secure or confident, but it doesn't.

I'm the same, but you're braver than me for owning up.

I've never been cheated on luckily, but I was told how pretty I was growing up. Then I went through an ugly phase as a pre-teen with bad hair, bad clothes, glasses and braces. Boys were awful to me, really vile. When I started looking nicer a couple years later and wore contacts for sports, they couldn't be more sweet to me. I ended up feeling that's solely where my worth lies. So all it takes is for someone attractive to come on TV (and let's face it, plenty will) for me to feel like DP has come to a realisation that I have nothing to offer in comparison. This is when he's silently enjoying watching something and hasn't a clue. And there's nothing wrong on his part, he makes me feel like I am more than enough for him.

Obv these are feelings that come in a wave of insecurity, not actual logical thoughts that i believe. I've just been working on it for a while and managed to unpack where the issue comes from.

Everyone has issues to work on, though. Those saying they couldn't care less are lucky, but I'm sure they get bothered about things I wouldn't. I'm actually quite level-headed in most other areas. Don't beat yourself up about it, but do work on yourself, with a sense of curiosity and non-judgement. It does get better, and it's fun learning about yourself anyway.

I'm sorry your ex was a total shite head. What a thing to say. I'm sorry he did that to you.

Telly goddesses.... nope, doesn't bother me at all, but a lot of my insecurities do seem to have vanished thankfully as I've got older (mid-40s now). I'm much happier and more accepting of myself now physically than I ever was in my 20s or early 30s (I'm also embracing mad ol' dog lady, but that's another thread...). I went out for a while with a man though who really had a "roving eye" (as my Nan would have called it). He would always be gawping at attractive women everywhere we went and that chipped away at my self-esteem a good bit at the time. My DP now is not like that at all. So if I was watching something with DP we could both be commenting on some gorgeous telly person and it would be meaningless, but with ex-twat it would have bothered me. If your partner doesn't give you any "real life" causes to feel insecure then I definitely think you're right and should work on this issue yourself maybe.

No. I don't think it's ever entered my head.

The only thing which may or may not be similar at all, is when dh oogles houses on Rightmove and I'm like... can't you just like our house? It looks after us, takes care of us, it's not real life anyway - it's completely artificial, no one lives like that anyway...

Clearly, in this regard, I've got real issues.

Me and DP came straight out the cinema and rated all the Avengers in order of 'would most like to shag'.

Ah, not at all. Me and my DH have great fun passing comment on other people's bodies on TV (... I've just realised how awful that sounds...!)

Both of us are equally happy pointing out hot women and hot men (both of us are hetrosexual).

At the end of the day, physical attribute amount to nothing when you're committed to each other for life - both of our bodies are going to change for the worse in the future, but it doesn't matter - we are together for each other's personalities, not their looks.

I don’t give a stuff. I’m far too old for any comparison to be relevant.

I think this bothers attractive women more maybe. I am like a different species to women on TV - I know they're 100 x nicer looking than me. So in the same way I don't stress that Usain Bolt can outrun me I don't really give it much thought.