Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

AIBU to ask what’s the longest you’ve been without sex?

111 replies

JonSnowIsALoser · 13/05/2019 18:32

What’s the longest you’ve been without sex? What were the reasons? Did you cope with it OK? How? Or was it unbearable? Did you end up shagging someone random? Or waited for a new committed relationship?

I’m starting to miss it after 2 years of being happily sex-free (divorce in progress) and I’m feeling a bit lost to be honest. I’m in my mid-forties, is that it for me then?

OP posts:

darkskyclearing · 13/05/2019 20:00

It's about four years now. Didn't bother me. In fact I couldn't imagine wanting to have sex with someone again. Until a few months ago when sex drive came back with a vengeance. There is a guy I am going to ask out for a drink next time I see him. I think there is a chance he may be interested in getting to know me better too...

TBh though, long term it will be the non-sexual physical intimacy I think I will miss most. and my personal circumstances mean I find it hard to imagine being able to form a long term relationship with anyone.

I'm mid forties too.

Sure never thought life would turn out like this.

GirlFliesHome · 13/05/2019 19:59

tbh I make myself do it every few weeks or so. depression meds, the pill and pure bloody exhaustion have killed my libido and it is just another bloody chore.

goodwinter · 13/05/2019 19:59

Maybe a year or so? I was in uni, single, and not into ONS. Didn't bother me; I just waited til I met someone I liked.

Dottysmum18 · 13/05/2019 19:57

6 months and counting stopped due to a spinal surgry for my dp and due to stress of 4 operations in 2 years another dc , going back to work ,money worries i have put on about 2 stone and now im too fat for him to want to have sex with me havnt slept in the same bed for over a year so this may be it now .... and im only 26

novasglowx · 13/05/2019 19:57

Just over a year. Drove me mad. Then I tripped and fell on the postman. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Erosisaprick · 13/05/2019 19:55

Nearly two years 😭 single parent here too.

Laiste · 13/05/2019 19:55

2 weeks.

meeeeps58 · 13/05/2019 19:55

4 years was the longest. I became a single mum in pregnancy and remained so for the first 3.5 years of his life. I have a high libido, so was far from ideal but luckily extended breast feeding kept my hormones at bay and I really did need a break from dating in order to concentrate ds and studying/sorting out work ect.

  Current dry spell over 18 months now, and frankly complete shit. I know it shouldn't be hard to find something casual, and whilst I think that can work in the right circumstances, (in times of abundance) I think I would feel a bit rubbish knowing that  it was nothing to him, as I would automatically ascribe meaning to . Also what if he disappears after one shag? It would be like having a single crisp after a week of fasting....

QueenofallIsee · 13/05/2019 19:54

5 years and I got used to it - my relationship was dying by inches and I didn’t see him in a sexual way to be honest. We split and I met my DP....I am climbing the walls if we go 3 days with DTD. He is mighty fine though

BMW6 · 13/05/2019 19:51

DH and I haven't DTD for about 8 years. I lost my libido entirely post menopause and (luckily) DH can't get an erection anymore, so we are both on the same page as it were.
We are still very affectionate and demonstrative with each other, and most importantly talk about how we feel completely honestly.

I have to say I don't miss it at all - never thought I'd lose the urge, as we shagged like rabbits the first seven or so years (met each other late in life - we were FWB to start with).

Youngandfree · 13/05/2019 19:47

Maybe 3/4 months when me and dh were long distance.

wonkylegs · 13/05/2019 19:46

7wks post birth as my body was knacked and I was exhausted

JoyceDivision · 13/05/2019 19:44

About 18 months... And I'm married.

No libido . DH must be so patient but I'm just not feeling it.

Oysterbabe · 13/05/2019 19:43

15 years. I didn't miss it but then I was a child at the time.

BoomZahramay · 13/05/2019 19:43

2 weeks as I had just given birth.

JacquesHammer · 13/05/2019 19:42

4 months post separation.

Then started with a FWB.

labazsisgoingmad · 13/05/2019 19:40

5 years single enjoyed being single then met my dp who due to medical reasons told me we would not be able to have intercourse though we did other things of course. after 12 months things changed due to GP support and finding a few aids to help now we have a very healthy sex life

MulticolourMophead · 13/05/2019 19:39

A bit more than 2 years, since I left my ex. I'm working on myself and my boundaries before dipping a toe in the dating pool.

Grumpymug · 13/05/2019 19:39

8/9 years after DC dad and ex. Then 2 fwb fairly close together, and been a year this time. I don't miss the physical sex, I can do that myself, better and with less fuss, I really miss intimacy though. And yes, peri menopause horniness is a thing I think, because I think I'm heading down that route!

CodenameVillanelle · 13/05/2019 19:39

A year. It was horrible. I turned off my sexuality and was very closed. I won't do that again.

LikeYouSaid · 13/05/2019 19:38

6 years. Then was 6 months with a guy I thought was going somewhere then another 2 year gap. Not sure if I can stomach putting myself out there again though, still smarting from being dumped!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 13/05/2019 19:37

6-8 weeks but only because I had given birth.

SaltSpoon · 13/05/2019 19:36

6 weeks around each baby (3 weeks before and after)

orangeicecream · 13/05/2019 19:36

12 years 3 months and counting..... Doubt I will ever have sex with another person again.....I'm 42 😢

DaisysStew · 13/05/2019 19:34

4 years and counting now. Split up with DS’s dad, get no time to myself to meet someone and just sort of ended up here.

Can’t actually imagine doing it now 🙈. Years of no sex will kill your libido. I’m only 31 so cant blame hormones etc just very settled in my sexless life .

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5