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Original poster

AIBU to ask what’s the longest you’ve been without sex?

111 replies

JonSnowIsALoser · 13/05/2019 18:32

What’s the longest you’ve been without sex? What were the reasons? Did you cope with it OK? How? Or was it unbearable? Did you end up shagging someone random? Or waited for a new committed relationship?

I’m starting to miss it after 2 years of being happily sex-free (divorce in progress) and I’m feeling a bit lost to be honest. I’m in my mid-forties, is that it for me then?

OP posts:
TemporaryPermanent · 14/05/2019 00:02

18 months between a ONS post xh and meeting dh. I don't remember missing it.

A year almost to the day after dh died, with the first of a string of lovers I am now in touch with (my vocab is stuck in the 70s). I found my sex drive very distressing all year and it was pure relief to set something up to address it. I am a completely different person sexually at the moment.

Leftielefterson · 14/05/2019 00:00

2 months post separation. I used a lot of batteries in those 8 weeks (tmi probably)

Hepte · 13/05/2019 23:50

@SaltSpoon how on earth were you interested in sex 6 weeks after having a baby???? I was wiped out! Sex was the last thing on my mind for months Hmm

GMtoBe · 13/05/2019 22:09

11 weeks. 2 weeks before DD was born and 9 weeks afterwards.

stucknoue · 13/05/2019 22:05

2 months and counting, it's not good, he's just across the hall but wants to separate Confused I'm fed up, I'd settle for a cuddle to be honest

celibatecaro · 13/05/2019 22:00

ten years or so.

IntoValhalla · 13/05/2019 21:58

I’ve been with DH since I was 16. So I’d say the longest I’ve gone without is when one of us has been deployed overseas (military) - longest was 7 months.

Rainbowknickers · 13/05/2019 21:57

A year-and I didn’t miss it at all now with a wonderful man but if I’m honest if we didn’t do it again I wouldn’t be bothered-I have ptsd so I think it boils down to that

EastEndQueen · 13/05/2019 21:54

About 8 or 9 weeks - following birth of first DS. Was more like 5 or 6 weeks post delivery this time as a much more straightforward delivery. Sex drive strangely much higher then usual at the moment which was unexpected (DS2 is 12 weeks old) maybe just because i’m not BF, still too exhausted to do it as much as I would like Grin

FrogFairy · 13/05/2019 21:45

18.5 years and counting, don’t expect to ever have sex again. Just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 13/05/2019 21:37

I can't actually remember when DP and I last had sex

StarlightLady · 13/05/2019 21:35

4 weeks. When I was in hospital and immediately afterwards.

Apart from that, say one and a half weeks. I’m crawling up the wall Fter that. I have been sexually active since 14/15. No regrets. In my 40s now.

Original poster
JonSnowIsALoser · 13/05/2019 21:29

Thank you everyone! Good to know my position is not as unusual as I thought, Flowers to those of you who miss it.

To answer a PP’s question, by ‘sex’ I mean an intercourse with a partner.

Toys are great - I discovered them recently. More satisfying and efficient that the ex. But alas they don’t give hugs, and are lacking on the sexy talk front.

I always thought I had a low libido, but it seems to have been the result of being on the pill for most of twenty-odd years. I’ve been off the pill for two years now as it is no longer necessary, and my hormones are gradually getting bonkers.

I’d love to hear more from you.

OP posts:
TheSandman · 13/05/2019 21:25

16 years.

Then I lost my virginity.

VanGoghsDog · 13/05/2019 21:23

I've gone years in between at times.

But age isn't the issue, I'm 51 and have just started seeing a guy, I'm staying at his next weekend.

I last had sex in December.

Age shouldn't be a barrier!

LetsDialDownTheIanPaisley · 13/05/2019 21:03

3 years and counting. Single parent to a 3 year old

Echobelly · 13/05/2019 21:03

Since I started (fairly late at 21)... probably not more than a year, when I didn't have a partner. I wouldn't have noticed especially I'm not a massive fan of sex.

Since I got married the longest has been probably just under 3 months when I developed sharp pelvic pain when doing the deed in the last 8 weeks of pregnancy, then just under a month recovering from c-section and generally having a newborn.

NCforThisO6 · 13/05/2019 21:02

About 4/5 weeks. Split up with somebody then got with somebody new.
Didn't even wait that long after childbirth 🙈

cookiemon666 · 13/05/2019 20:59

3 years 1 month, since I stopped loving my ex husband. Honestly donot miss it

SimonJT · 13/05/2019 20:58

Actual sex about 18 months, other stuff with another person about four weeks.

TheFairyCaravan · 13/05/2019 20:57

6 months, on quite a few occasions, while DH has been deployed.

slashlover · 13/05/2019 20:54

Nearly 41 years and counting.

darkskyclearing · 13/05/2019 20:51

Absolutely aghast at those posters saying they didn't have sex for the first few weeks after giving birth! Only the first few weeks! Bloody hell.

ConkerGame · 13/05/2019 20:50

2 years when single. I really missed it and ended up doing it in a FWB type situation that I knew would end badly, and did. I was quite broken afterwards!

Luckily I met now DP two months later and the rest is history!

Alena92 · 13/05/2019 20:46

4 years thanks to vaginismus. Miraculously recovered one day and I’ve been fine for the last 2 years thankfully