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Original poster

DH just told me he’s secretly taking viagra

103 replies

Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 10:33

NC for this.

First of all, before I get flamed, I have nothing against Viagra — IF both parties are aware and it’s pre agreed to.

We’ve been married for 6 years and have 3 young DC one after the other. Rarely have sex which is making me question why he needs it. I suffered bad tears after birth that took many stitches, physio and a long time to heal + have had 3 babies one after the other so we’ve been intimate in other ways than sex it’s self, bjs etc maybe once a week or fortnightly. - he works away half the week before anyone gets at me this is not enough.
Yesterday as I walked in he quickly hid his phone I’ve never seen him look so panicky, so I asked to see his phone why he’s hiding it, resulted in a blazing row and I told him to leave. Today he’s messaged me he hid it as he was googling something about him and his Viagra and didn’t want me to see.

I feel so betrayed. I also feel horrible like all these years I wasn’t able to give him an erection and worthless Sad not to drip feed he’s only in his 20s and we got married at 19. So it’s not like he should need it.

Please be gentle feeling a little sensitive with him leaving yesterday I’m on my own with the young DC & now feeling inadequate too

OP posts:
BogglesGoggles · 03/05/2019 10:44

Firstly, this is not a reflection on you. It’s merely a case of erectile dysfunction. It’s not uncommon for porn related ED in men of his generation. There may be other causes though like marijuana use or underlying health problems. You should try not to take it personally. But you need to sit down with him to make sure that he’s talked tgrough this withadoctor in case it’s a symptom of a serious problem.

Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 03/05/2019 10:40

I think the best thing to do is to sit down (without kids if possible) and have a conversation about it. Try to keep it calm, don’t make him feel ashamed or he won’t open up. There are many reasons why he might need viagra but the only way to move forward is to communicate.

Original poster
Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 10:40

When we first got married there were lots of masturabtion tissues on a daily basis always left on his side of the bed too. I told him I wasn’t cleaning up after his mess and he’d have to dispose of it himself. I’m wondering if he has a porn addiction which is causing some of this too? Confused

OP posts: