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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed at how DP 'proposed' to me?

88 replies

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 09:05

Sorry, this may be a little long winded..

Last night he got a bit drunk, i came back from work with a few little pressies for him (Cherry pie and a keyring i saw and thought he'd like) He then ignored me whilst chatting to 2 of his friends on the phone and then nagged at me to get in the shower so he could get on the computer. When i came from the shower in my towel, feeling tired and a bit cheesed off that me efforts had gone to waste, plonked myself down in my chair and made a bit of a comment about how cheesed off i was....

He then got down on the floor infront of my chair, told me to close my eyes whilst sliding one of his HUGE barbed wire looking rings from his finger, and said 'Ive got a question that i dont think your expecting' and then asked me to marry him..
I probably wouldnt be so miffed but he proposed to me a few times when we hadnt been together that long and i explained to him that as i already had a child i wanted to make ABSOLUTELY sure that we were doing the right thing, and that if and when he felt the need to propose later on in our relationship i expected him to do it completely sober. Weve spoken about it loads and always went on about how romantic it could be etc etc...
Am i being a mean and sour faced bitch? Do i expect too much from him?

I think this is probably the only place where im going to get some hardcore honest answers.
I said yes by the way, but did also say that i wish he hadnt of had a drink. He then passed out downstairs an hour later.

OP posts:
LittleLupin · 13/07/2007 09:19

Well, I read that as - he was ignoring you and chatting because he was very nervous. He nagged you to get into the shower because he wanted to sort out the ring and get his words straight. He probably had a drink for dutch courage.

Everyone wants a dream proposal, so I understand why you are upset, but maybe you are being a leeetle hard on him.

Have a proper chat, make sure it's what you both really want (sober!) and CONGRATULATIONS!

MadEyemarthamooDy · 13/07/2007 09:18

If you want to marry him then I don't think the manner of his proposal matters all that much (though I speak as someone who has been with possibly the most unromantic man in the universe for the last 16 years).

Fwiw, my Dad's proposal to my Mum was completely unromantic (in a phone box) and they've been married nearly 40 years.

Dh's proposal to me was unromantic (he had appendicitis and thought he was dying) and we've been married for 10 years.

My brother staged the most romantic proposal ever (can't give details as it's too identifying - suffice to say you would go "ooooh" and "aaaaah") to his then girlfriend and she slept with his best friend less than a year later and they are now divorced.

It's the person that matters - not the proposal.

mylittlestar · 13/07/2007 09:18

Are you fed up because of the way it happened? Or because you think he only asked you because he was drunk?

Seeing as you've said yes I assume you do want to marry him! How about asking him to take you out for a special meal once you have bought the ring so he can propose in the romantic way you always wanted...? Let him make all the plans, book the meal, sort out babysitters etc... and all you are to do is turn up, look beautiful, and be swept off your feet!!

Congratulations btw!

Nbg · 13/07/2007 09:15

Also

maybe he feels like he needs the alcohol to boost his confidence.
He might have been really nervous about asking you.

LazyLineLegilimens · 13/07/2007 09:14

When he proposed before was he sober then? Your post seems to indicate not.

I'm not saying that you must have the romance but can he only propose when pissed?

Nbg · 13/07/2007 09:13

Oh and btw

Congratulations

elesbellsrae · 13/07/2007 09:12

i chuckled when i read your post...some men are oooh sooo romantic when they have a drink inside them. it is quite sweet though. congratulations to you.

Nbg · 13/07/2007 09:12

Well at least you got a proposal!

All I got was

"well if you want a ring for your birthday then we may as well juts buy a proper one than a cheap bit of silver"

Romantic.

LazyLineLegilimens · 13/07/2007 09:12

I don't think it's ridiculous of you to be disappointed that he proposed whilst drunk and then passed out shortly after.

Why do you think he asked you?

Will he remember asking you?

Is his drinking a problem?

DO you even want to marry him?

mm22bys · 13/07/2007 09:10

I was going to post that I hope you had told him to ask you again when he was sober!

I asked my DH to marry me, over a satellite phone, on Feb 29. He didn't say yes, but did ask me to phone back that night if I was deadly serious.

Anyway, I did ring him back and in Jan we had been married 10 years!

Congratulations, BTW!

daisyandbabybootoo · 13/07/2007 09:10

maybe just a little unreasonable.

SimplySparkling · 13/07/2007 09:10

I can see what you're saying but it sounds as though he was being very true to himself and ... I don't know what else to say except CONGRATULATIONS!

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 09:06

Sorry about typos etc, im also talking to DS about sports day

OP posts:
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