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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the teacher to call me for Parent Teacher conference on time...

59 replies

eleusis · 12/07/2007 17:18

and if not to make SOME effort to give a phone number where I could call her back when SHE missed the appointment by 23 minutes?

She very begrudgingly agreed to this phone conference when I told her I could not possible be at school at 3:34. (then appointment was later changed due to their error to 4:15). I told her I could do the time, but only on the phone. Blah blah blah, so she agreed to it.

I waited for the call, but then missed it because I was away from my desk 25 minutes later. And she left a message that said something like "Well this is really difficult over the phone because there is a report for you to comment on... well, maybe we'll catch up some other day."

Now, why couldn't she say "so sorry I'm late, if you can call me back on x I'll be here for another 15 minutes". I think her approach was a bitpassive agressive to be honest.

And Im bloody pissed off that the school thinks I can just leave work in the middle of the afternoon.

There goes my donation to the end of the year teacher pressie's. Think I'll spend it on someone more deserving... like my lovely new nanny.

OP posts:
hatrickjacqueline · 12/07/2007 19:09

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meandmyflyingmachine · 12/07/2007 19:09

I teach secondary which is rather different, but our parents evenings don't start until 6.15...

Peachy · 12/07/2007 19:09

Itsa difficult one really, ours do evenings but that doesn't work for us, as Dh works evening / night shifts. We just have to cope really, the only tme it really got me narked was when it was ds2's and I didnt get an appointment as I wasnt tehre (i drop 3 kids in different places) when she was handing out times , but even then I accept the teachers are human and have limitations.

I would never expect a teacher to give out a mobile number if its her own, and maybe the class didnt have a a direct line and the secretary ahd gone home?

meandmyflyingmachine · 12/07/2007 19:08

I agree. Very unusual for a school not to do so IME.

Original poster
eleusis · 12/07/2007 19:08

I was the last appointment.

I'm only asking for a bit of flexibility. I'm well aware whose child it is. But I think it's reasonable for teachers to make some some effort to accommodate working parents. I'm not asking her to stay 'til midnight, just say 5:00. That seems like a perfectly normal work day to me. I'm not asking her to do anything for her job that I wouldn't do for mine.

Intersting point about needing to be somewhat unavailable for the very needy parents. I see now that makes sense.

Anyway, I have sent her an e-mail asking if she could possibly reschedule for 4:45 one day next week.

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Butterbeertroot · 12/07/2007 19:05

I still think they shoudl make arrangements for working (out of the home) mothers - and that shoudl be psrt of their job - you should not have to chase her for it

NKF · 12/07/2007 19:00

She was probably dashing into the next meeting. Teachers' days are very unlike office workers days. It's easy to forget that.

hana · 12/07/2007 18:56

so maybe she had a bad day, these meetings are draining and you were at the end of a long day - I wouldn't get too upset about it

meandmyflyingmachine · 12/07/2007 18:55

Seeing you about your child is her work Eleusis...

hatrickjacqueline · 12/07/2007 18:53

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Original poster
eleusis · 12/07/2007 18:41

If the P-T conference was actually in the evening I could make sure to be there.

Oh well, next time I'm going to make a bigger stink about wanting an evening eppointment, and not suggest a phone conference. To be honest, I don't think the phone was ideal, I only suggested it because she insisted on 3:45. I'd miss half the work day if I left in time for a 3:45 appointment. I wouldn't ask her to miss half her work day to come meet with me.

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meandmyflyingmachine · 12/07/2007 18:30

I would be very happy to see a parent who couldn't make parents evening at another time. Although TBH as our parents evenings went on pretty late, if they couldn't make it I would expect to see them within my working hours outside of that.

I think it was barking of the teacher to try to arrange a telephone appointment on parents evening. Barking. They always overrun and you are always knackered at the end of it and want to get home. And maybe have to sort out your own childcare arrangements.

An appointment on a different day is a much better bet.

Butterbeertroot · 12/07/2007 18:26

and you can make alterntive times ifneed be

Butterbeertroot · 12/07/2007 18:26

they do them for 5 onwards in my kids school (private) and on until 7 ish.

Original poster
eleusis · 12/07/2007 18:24

Nope. They did not answer. I left a message. Then, I e-mail them asking if they could provide me with a direct line or e-mail for teacher. I imagine they'll laugh when they read that. I might get a response next week.

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Original poster
eleusis · 12/07/2007 18:22

20 minutes is a long time when you've got collegues asking you to come talk to them and you've been putting them off.

"Sorry not now..."
"But, it's urgentEleusis"
"I know. Everthing is. But you have to wait."

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hatrickjacqueline · 12/07/2007 18:22

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Original poster
eleusis · 12/07/2007 18:21

I'm not annoyed that she ran over. I just think that when she called she could have said "if you can call me back on xxx in the next ten minutes I'll still be here". Seems fair when she was the one who called late. But, no, she gave me no avenue through which to contact her.

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OrmIrian · 12/07/2007 18:15

20 minutes isn't really all that long to wait is it? I do sympathise as I'm in the same boat but I expect she'd been kept waiting around by other parents all afternoon and had had enough.

I must admit that our school does an evening and an afternoon for parents consultation. But as it's a nursery maybe they aren't going to be as flexible. I've never had anything like that from a nursery TBH.

Original poster
eleusis · 12/07/2007 18:12

What I'm actually annoyed about is how she gave no avenue through which to call her back in the span of next ten minutes. It was veru oh well maybe some other day after I spent 20 minutes or so waiting at my desk for her call. Just a little bit of effort on her part.

I think she was sulking about having to call me.

I normally really like this teacher (and DD is only in nursery so I suppose it isn't the end of the world) but why can they expect parents to spend three hours leaving work early and they can't put forth an extra two minutes of offort.

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muppetgirl · 12/07/2007 18:12

Whe I taught the p-t conferences were 4-7.30, 8pm. I knew of a couple of parents who needed early morning apps and always managed to fit them in. I always tried to accomodate parents when it was IEP reveiw time also as one of my parents could only do 8am.
I was always in work from 7.30am so it didn't really bother me...

DiagonAlipiggie · 12/07/2007 18:05

Strange how things change. When my Mother was a teacher the conferences were always in the evening to suit all parents.

hatrickjacqueline · 12/07/2007 18:04

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hatrickjacqueline · 12/07/2007 18:03

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MrsWobble · 12/07/2007 18:02

I don't know if there's much practical difference but there's certainly a better "customer service" ethos at dd1's private secondary school. I think the head is conscious that he is running a business and needs to fill the places with the best children he can get whereas the primary school was heavily oversubscribed and non selective.